Imperial Decree 410

Imperial Decree #410: Meshugeneh II

Ardashir Piroz Aurangzeb al-Osmani-Steffki, by the Kharenah of Zurvan, Kaiser, Khan of Vijayanagara, Earl of Alalehzamin, to his subjects and retainers, greetings, and unto the gods of Shireroth undying and unthinking obsequience.

Know that We, Mibaradardam be Khorshid va Mah Minamaz dadanam Zurvan, have in the first place granted to Zurvan this Ordinance which by his Kharenah is confirmed for us and our heirs forever.

Wishing to finish the day on an absurd note (more so than is already inherent) we hereby grant these Letters Patent pertaining to matters of Court & Anti-Social.

1.0. Miscellaneous
1.1. Frump's Lollipop Orphanage; Mr Frump proprietor, shall be installed in the newly renovated dungeons;
1.2. ICEBREAKER IS APPOINTED KEEPER OF THE HUMAN ZOO. WE COMMEND THIS TO FURTHER HIS RESEARCHES IN THIS FIELD;
1.3. Steward Leo shall be prohibited from operating portable IT systems in our presence, especially if they are in any way connected to the operating of weapons of mass destruction;
1.4. We command Allot to pout more;
1.5. We hereby grant our warrant to Fat Solomon's Tobacco Company, Szhmuel Astopov proprietor, purveyor of quality cancer sticks for discerning gentlemen.

Signed by my hand at Raynor's Keep, Shirekeep, on this Ifniday the 18th day of H'Graasreign, in the year MMMDCCLXXVIII ab sectora condita