Book of Ice

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Cover of the first edition of the Book of Ice

The Book of Ice is the Holy Book of the Holy Church of the Divine Icebear. It is compiled of revelations from the Divine Icebear to High Priests Myck Snealandyx and Jacen X'halar, as well as many speeches, prophecies and sermons by these two church leaders.

Contents

The Book of Ice has a difficult narrative structure because of the numerous additions by the respective High Priests. It contains various types of texts, written from different perspectives. Scholars have called the Book "one of the most difficult works in history". Only a few believers have actually read the entire Book of Ice, most of them opting for a special version called "The Book of Ice for the Unenlightened". This special version is distributed widly and actively by Icebearian missionaries.

The largest part of the Book of Ice consists of philosophical revelations, which have been revealed by the Divine Icebear. To illustrate, here is an example from the part of the Book known as "The Holy War":

  • 1. The warmth of the sun is the dead of the ice and of his brethren, hear ye children of the sun and hear ye sons of the moon and bow for your master.
  • 2. Let your children hear and let your slaves hear the words of the ONE who is your creator and your Lord.
  • 3. And bow for your master, recognize him as your saviour.
  • 4. My brethren, I beg you to let the words of our furry lord, our white lord, hear over the lands. Until all the ends of the earth will hear of his wisdom.
  • 5. Don't blow the candle of the Lord's justice out or he will eat you like he eats his frozen salmon.
  • 6. Go and take your sword, and your axe, and your bow, and your shield and the ring and destroy the enemies of the Icebear by throwing the ring into the fires of mount Doom.
  • 7. After that, burn your enemies with it's fire and laugh when they burn and then feast and say "hear, the Lord is a righteous Lord and he will tolerate no evil'
  • 8. Take up the arms, and fight for your Lord until you die. Then you will be greated by 70 virgins.
  • 9. The Lord, our Lord, is an only Lord.

This passage clearly illustrates the shift in subject and narrative structure that is characteristic for the Book of Ice, and one of the main reasons why it is so difficult to understand.