Mesior

Mesior, a 'ward' or district of Goldshire, is the sole city of any consequence in the county of Lunaris - the remainder of the settlements being towns little more than hamlets, Teldrin not withstanding, or glorified rustic asylums where the worst congenital defectives of eastern Benacia have, over a period of centuries, been deposited with sadly irreversible consequences for the culture and gene pool of the county whose denizens rejoice under the decidedly appropriate appellation of Lunatic.

Features of the City

The Keyhole Dockyard

Directly controlled by the Royal Government rather than the county authorities, the Keyhole Dockyard is home to the 11th Patrol Squadron, comprised of 20 Protector Class Corvettes, the 12th Submarine Squadron and the 18th Naval Flight, which together formed the 5th Flotilla of the Maritime Division of the Goldshire Regulars.

Mayhappenstance Docks

Headquartered in these docks, adjacent to the Keyhole Dockyard, is the Ducal Merchant Fleet - a chartered body that maintains a fleet of merchant ships for the purposes of promoting trade and transporting government personnel and assets. Serves as a logistical auxiliary to Goldshirian naval units. Runs Goldshire's major maritime passenger routes:

Cabbagefall - Shirekeep

Mesior - Tyrelwynn - Cabbagefall - Kingsgate

Kingsgate - Eliria

Mesior - Musica

Wendor - Port Nevermore

Mesior - Novi Nigrad - Sileni

Mesior - Hallucigrad - Aryapur

Gropecuntestraße

The broad thoroughfare, noted for its poplar tree street walks and popular streetwalkers, that separates the port from the main city. Home to Randy's Vivid Whorehouse, named after a certain Randy Viviantius, former commander of the submarine Alnientor in the Goldshire Regulars. After he was quietly cashiered for acts tantamount to piracy in Eastern Cimmerian Waters, Randy turned his hand to running the sorts of venue he had so commonly frequented during his long and mostly distinguished career. It turned out that he was so successful in this that he put most of his competition along the notorious Gropecuntestraße out of business. Taking advantage of his competitors straightened circumstances to buy the abandoned properties for a song, Randy went on to create the largest den of iniquity in eastern Benacia since the Church of Elwynn was forced out of the sacred prostitution racket.

Mesior Zemlyan Vodka Distillery

Situated suspiciously close to the principle military and civil dockyards of the port, although they maintain that this is to facilitate the swift unloading of Elwynnese grain barges, the Zemlyan Vodka distillery is notorious for the blindness and insanity routinely occasioned by the consumption of its post-soviet produce by the unwary.

Standard vodkas:

KREPKAYA - Double distilled, 100 proof.

VYBOROVAYA - Triple distilled, 80 proof.

LUKSUSOVAYA - Quadruple distilled, 60 proof

OSOBAYA - Quadruple distilled and filtered, 60 proof

Novelty Vodkas:

ZUBROVKA - Triple distilled, flavoured with bison grass. 80 proof.

LIMONNAYA - Triple distilled, flavoured with lemon. 80 proof.

KLUKVINNAYA - Triple distilled, flavoured with cranberries. 80 proof.

KUBANSKAYA - Triple distilled, flavoured with lemon and oranges. 80 proof.

HEMPKA - Quintuple distilled, flavoured with 'hemp'. 40 proof.

In Elwynnese industrial circles krepkaya is widely admired for its utility as a paint stripper and cleaning agent. Some hardier souls, usually mariners, are even known to drink it of their own volition. The explanation commonly given is that it is amongst the few known substances that are sufficiently noxious to cause a Kraken to regurgitate its prey.

Quaint Ethnic Cultural Practices

Forced Marriage

In the Mesior and Aina Wards of Lunaris the preferred rite of marriage, as practised by the residents, is known as the Rite of the Rakshasa (Monsters). It is considered extraordinarily good luck to take a wife exhibiting the features to which the Rite of Pisaka applies - with combinations of said bridal characteristics being especially fortuitous. A wife who exhibits all four elements - specifically a girl of sub-functional IQ afflicted by florid insanity who spends her days in a drunken coma - would represent a nigh-on invincible talisman, warding off any and all dark forces one could wish to imagine and conferring effective immortality on her husband for the duration of her own lifetime.