Shireroth Almanac
A publication that existed in July of 2004. It's author was "The Almanackeer".
The publication is copies in it's entirety (We believe) below.
The Shireroth Almanac
We are a news blog catering to the micronation called the Imperial Republic of Shireroth (www.shireroth.org), a nation ruled by a benovolent Kaiser who will hopefully reward us for maintaining a fairly regular news service! Come and join us, and find out the real story behind the crazy cover ups featured in this paper!
Remember, that's the Shireroth Almanac, 40% news, 60% sarcastic commentary! Thursday, July 29, 2004
Minister Position Open SHIREKEEP
The Kaiser has stated that, if a suitably skilled, dedicated, popular citizen of Shireroth who also happens not to hold dual citizenship in any other micronation would like to become Minister for the Exterior, he will give the position to them, and take the position of Minister of Interior when Erik takes the Kaisership....oh, when he leaves the Kaisership, sorry.
Would this non-existent micronationalist please stand up and be Ministered? Thank you.
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/29/2004 04:54:00 PM 0 comments
Agnesi and Strong Bound Together In Eternal Matrimony CURRAGH, KILDARE
The Kaiser proclaimed today that Hypatia Agnesi, a newcomer to the nation, and the Duke of Kildare, Joseph Strong (Phoenix/Gryphon/Chimaera/Draco the Fill-In-Adjective) be married today. This means that the new Duchess of Kildare will be allowed a voice, if not a say (notice the subtle difference, that's called reportage, buddy boy) in the Landsraad. The Almanac notices a recent spate of such marriages, and forecasts a future glut of them. Perhaps Lord Monto's new economy would do well to contain a firm of divorce lawyers?
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/29/2004 04:54:00 PM 6 comments
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Implausable Babkhan Conspiracy Met With Opposition LANDSRAAD BUILDING, SHIREKEEP
" It seems that almost every other week we see one bill or the other wanting to change the Lawbook one way or the other," the words of Duke Rakesh of Brookshire, who has finally figured out what the Landsraad does. The Duke proposed that the Landsraad go through every section of the Landsraad, in order to create a definitive version. This has been met with opposition by the Prætor, and he states: "Last time we tried this it took so long just to get 1/5th of the way though it came down to me as Kaiser to have to take ALL our law and create the Lawbook to begin with." The Lawbook was written in October 2003, as a repository for all laws within Shireroth, in easily locatable format, and the present rule is that all submissions to the Landsraad that do not have a one-time effect must be written up in Lawbook format and included in that document. The proposal/conspiracy has been seconded by the Baron of Elwynn, confirming its suspicious nature. The Almanac hereby alerts the authorities to the shady nature of said resolution, and expects swift and brutal justice for the ne'erdowells.
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/27/2004 08:24:00 PM 0 comments
Development in Landsraad Controversy LANDSRAAD BUILDING, SHIREKEEP
Duke Joseph Strong of Kildare was fined 15 Erb yesterday by the Prætor for illegally attempting to close the Landsraad. The Duke had proposed that the Landsraad be recessed, and after only two days (instead of the normal 4!!) he declared the forum closed, also conveniently declaring the vote that would have meant a resolution in favour of keeping the Landraad open (by Baroness Eriana Moon) null and void. The Prætor in his statement stated: "You are NOT Prætor. And it is NOT your place to declare votes closed, especially ones of this magnitude. As Prætor is is my privilege to extend votes and I have for I believe that nobles with an interest in the vote who may be able to change the outcome need a chance to vote." The vote, now standing at 12-13-2, looks set to keep the Landsraad open.
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/27/2004 08:17:00 PM 0 comments
First Anniversary of Mango-Camel Pact Celebrated KAISER'S COURT, SHIREKEEP
Yesterday, the first anniversary of the Mango-Camel Pact between Babkha and Shireroth was celebrated, with a visit and speech by their (evil) head of state, Shah Tahmaseb Abahktari, who granted our Kaiser the Grand Collar of the Nishan-i-Rastakhiz, the greatest honour a foreign head of state can receive. He cited the many similarities between our two great nations, and gave an enjoyable story about tractors. Well, we gathered that it was about tractors. There was also a speech by the (evil) Duke of Brookshire, Rakesh Ackbar, who serves as the (evil) Grand Vizier of Babkha. He said that: "Today our peoples are but two strands of a common string. Our destiny and and our future has become one. We walk no longer alone on this journey, but together."
The Mango-Camel Pact was negotiated a year ago by Kaiseress Aurambre Aurefiction. After a year, and (by our count) seven Kaisers, it still stands. There are several active dual citizens in both nations, who contribute greatly to both these micronations. May the (evil) treaty long continue!
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/27/2004 08:08:00 PM 0 comments
Monday, July 26, 2004
Elwynnese Plot Thickens GLENFIDDICH, ELWYNN
After a few days of asking a lot of pertinent questions about the Book of Intyale and the flying island of Solaria and its destructive capabilities if flown into a nearby Barony, the Baron of Elwynn's plot has finally taken shape, to fly the island of Solaria into a nearby Barony. Laughable though this may be, the Almanac senses a disturbed atmosphere in the corners of the Imperial Republic. Perhaps a Bond-like character, if not the Baron of Lac Glacei himself then someone very like him, is needed to diffuse this situation, drink some martinis, and spout some cringeworthy puns before this blows out of all proportion. He's our only hope (maybe)!!
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/26/2004 09:51:00 AM 0 comments
First Volume of Shirerithian History Published TEMPLE OF B'CAW, BENACIA
Some days ago the Official Historian and High Priest of the Spicy Chicken God, Count Shyriath Bukolos of Benacia unveiled the first volume of his The Ages of Shireroth, a fictional history detailing the origins of the Shirerithian people, their languishment under the Khaz Modanian Empire, the conflicts between Brookshire and Goldshire, and the eventual formation of the Empire under Raynor I. Although some discrepancies have been noticed by critics, in the author's own words: "Keep in mind that this is merely the first edition of the first volume; if need be, the History can and will be revised." The Almanac agrees completely, and applauds the Count for his sterling work, noting that in a micronation, especially one like Shireroth, there is rarely a definitive version of anything, no matter how masterful the original was. Although perhaps, since this is the official history, Duchies whose history does not conform should be forced to do so? Since Goldshire's history includes a fairly interesting account of Treesian mining fever, we hope not!
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/26/2004 09:36:00 AM 0 comments
Landsraad Recess Movement Powers Ahead LANDSRAAD BUILDING, SHIREKEEP
In response to a general feeling displayed in the Kaiser's Court by none other than the Prætor, Erik Mortis Brookshire, himself, it looks like the Landsraad may soon be recessed. This motion was brought up because it was felt that Ministers and Nobles are spending "too much time" away from other things they could be doing, such as choreographing troop marching, sewing military uniforms, or constructing an economy. In the words of Ozarko Monto, Minister for Trade, delivered in the Hallucinatonian dialectic:
"Do we REALLY want to waste our time on bills that could be put off until later? I'm sure all the Ministers know what I'm talking about when I say that things could be ALOT better."
The voice of the opposition was summed up nicely, the Almanac feels, by Ruhan Zarathustra Erutirn, Emmisary (and Honourary Noble, but we'll just ignore that and treat him like a real person) for the Duchess of Goldshire, who said: "If people find themselves /too/ busy with the Landsraad to do other things, they are perfectly allowed to appoint politicial emisaries (even with guidelines as to how to vote) and to then go off and work on this other stuff, whilst their emissary whiles away his time in Landsraad." The Shireroth Almanac certainly agrees.
With the votes currently standing at 12-11-2 for Aye-Nay-Abstain, it is looking dangerously like passing unless concerned nobles do something to avoid it. The Almanac implores those concerned to see sense. The Landsraad and its associated document, the Lawbook, are one of Shireroth's admirable endeavours. Why cast those aside now, for uninteresting diversions? Why indeed.
- posted by The Almanackeer @ 7/26/2004 09:19:00 AM 0 comments
