Peachy Carnehan?

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Now, the problem is, how to divide five Shirerithians from three mules and have two Babkhans left over.

[Peachy Carnehan]

Ah Daniel, thought that was you. Barely recognized you dressed as that Mad Priest.

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

Now, the problem is, how to divide five Shirerithians from three mules and have two Babkhans left over.

Did you remember to carry the cyborg?

[Daniel Dravot]

Cyborgs? Cyborgs indeed. Sir you make my my gorge rise... tell him Peachy!

[Peachy Carnehan]

Now Danny, different countries, different ways. Oroigawa, we have vowed not to take a woman or strong drink until all your enemies are vanquished.

[Daniel Dravot]

And cyborgs - definitely no cyborgs.

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

Oh, do no such thing for the sake of my troubles. They are not enemies. Gralus is just simply a mistake I must live with.

[b3n|<3r|\|]

So Toketi is to Gralus as Babkha was to the GC? Good luck getting out - Iaindreas is going to go back in time a month as soon as you leave and claim you never did.

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

Oh no, I could rip Gralus to shreds with ease, I just choose not to. I don't want to be the villain.

[b3n|<3r|\|]

Do it! Babkha did and we've never been more active*, nor have we ever looked back!

*Source: Vizierate of Babkhan Truth International Activity Study, Aug. 2008

[Daniel Dravot]

What the blue blazes is that Dolphin talking about Peachy? Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me load these rifles onto the mules, it's a long way to Kildare.

[Peachy Carnehan]

Bit your tongue, you ruined the last Bozkashi match like that. Besides, it's only a silly mask, you act as though it would tear you asunder. But yes, as I am your friend, your brother and a loyal Sergeant of the Throne, I shall help you load martini rifles.

You there! Dolphin! step lively with that crate!

[b3n|<3r|\|]

Yessir! Anything for the Crown sir! By the way, which Crown is it exactly that I am loading these crates in the name of?

[Daniel Dravot]

We'll find out when we get there. Now where the devil is Billy Fish?

[Daniel Dravot]

Brother Carnehan, it appears to me that if we expect to reach Kildare we are going to need a boat. I must admit that the big blue ocean has rather spoilt my original plan of hitching a ride with the next camel train but I am sure we can improvise once we reach the sea.

[Peachy Carnehan]

Right then, Dolphin, put this on:



You sir, have just been recruited.


Daniel,

If we are to cross the sea, how would we be going about with 50 Martini's?

I suppose we could very well hope that we'd find a ship, but there is no guarantee as such is there?

Billy, Might you know of a means by which we may arrive at Kildare without the use of a ship?

[Daniel Dravot]

Now Peachy, have I ever led you astray? While you were yelling at our porter of the order Cetacea I have been off in the bazaar researching and applying my brains, such as I have, to our little dilemma. Now with the last bit of shrapnel in my pocket I picked up a copy of the local paper from the kindly vendor yonder and began to peruse for any shipping company that might be advertising - alas I could find none. But what I did find instead was an article about a spate of mysterious murders down river in Lunaris. Now a man as astute as yourself Peachy would recollect that Lunaris is by the sea. And that got me to thinking, thinking that we need a map. By now I, of course, did not have a single erb to my name having invested our joint expeditionary fund in fifty Martini-Henry rifles, three mules and a newspaper. Fortunately I did at that very moment espy a fat gentlemen in Natopian attire waddling towards a poorly lit back-alley where a sign advertising the dubious services of a massage parlour was prominently illuminated. A sense of moral indignation rising up in me, I followed that gentlemen into said dimly lit alley-way, whereupon the Natopian gentleman volunteered up the sum of ten erb and a gold crown which dislodged itself from his mouth during the course of our conversation.

Fiscally solvent once more I fell into discussion with a rascally old fakir round by the hop den and in exchange for the gold tooth he rendered unto me this map.



Now I don't now about you Peachy but I reckon that we should take ourselves, our aquatic friend and the mules down along the Elwynn River as far as Jeldrin, then skirt out east towards Lune Villa - follow the Crescent Valley down to Fort Fleming, thus skirting the Eldar Range, then its open fields all the way down to the port of Smotretka, whereupon we shall doubtless find a vessel and a captain who can be prevailed upon to take us to Kildare. A nice leisurely journey.

[Peachy Carnehan]

What a stroke of luck that you should find such a generous character among the Bizarre-rabble. If we are to be muled-bound the length of the journey, it may be in our best interests (always in mind) that we should better fit in. Our current attire, being of some consequence.

Should we consider the distribution of the shooters prior to our arrival? Given the savage nature of the terrain and populace, I mean.

[Daniel Dravot]

Peachy - have you not noticed? Everybody around here dresses strangely. By being dressed inappropriately we fit in already. As to the guns I have a cunning plan. You recall that temple we passed earlier, where we heard the sounds of loud explosions emanating from within? The fakir was telling me that the more primitive sorts of people round here worship loud noises in general and large explosions in particular. Now it seems to me that if we were to every now and then randomly fire off our rifles and yell VIVA LA BO0O/\/\! at inappropriate moments we will be able to pass ourselves off as pious pilgrims.

[Peachy Carnehan]

Never before Daniel, have I ever heard such complete nonsense. But we remain the obliging sort, and so will play our part.

I'll round up Billy and the mules, you lead on Brother Dravot. Soon enough, in Kildare we will be.

[hypatias mom]

Yeah, that ought to work. After all, this is Lunaris, and all the people are lunatics..."We're lall mad here..."

Go for the BOOOO/\/\/\/\!!!!!

[Daniel Dravot]

Well God bless you Ma'am but we have a way to go yet. But you're right about the Lunarians of course. Who knows, perhaps some of them will even be attracted by the loud bangs to sign up as junior partners to our little venture. But I digress and we must be away, time and tide and all that.


Now Peachy be a good fellow and prise that tourist map there off its board. It'll help us find our way out of this blasted metropolis. Cheers. Now... well give it here blast your eyes... If read this right we need to head, which way up does this go - ah - North from the Old City, past the Landsraad and through the Commercial District, and up into Northshire. There is a road bridge there which we can use to cross the river and if we take that we will eventually find ourselves on the other bank by the Mattlore Devious Complex. If we push on past that we will then find ourselves in Holwinn where we can make camp for the night and start following the river south in the morning.


(OOC: The next instalment of this lunatic adventure will be in Holwinn)

[hypatias mom]

Might I inquire, gentlemen, what interest you might have in the Dutchy of Kildare? I do have some connections, and means of transportation, but I would like to know if I would be contributing to her safety or to her danger?

[Krasniy Yastreb]

Lunarians

Please, Mr.Dravot. That word jars the very bones of my soul with its contrived blandness. The correct term is "Lunatic".

[Daniel Dravot]

Lunatics you be then Mr Yastreb. Far be it for me to question one in the know.

Now, Ma'am, we be in the business of turning good honest men into good honest killers - it being something of a profession and a passion of ours - and we have been led to believe, have we not Brother Carnehan, that, rightly or wrongly, Kildare is a land of opportunity for men of our inclination and abilities on account of the said lord of that land being somewhat at dispute with those lords whose place in life it is, theoretically at least, to serve under him who is their Duke. So I would like to think Ma'am that we would contribute very much to her safety being, as we are, able to teach her loyal subjects to stand fast under fire and to give good service with the cold steel in reply. As such we would consider our services to be gratis but with perhaps some consideration to our expenses, all being told.

[Andreas the Wise]

Master Dravot, have you ever been turned into a small toad before?

[Prodigy Almighty]

And cyborgs - definitely no cyborgs.

We-he-hell then, you'll want to avoid me as much as possible. I happen to have a MANR core where my shriveled black heart used to be, and everything below the neck is robotic. I am 90% cyborg, 10% human, 100% crazy scientist with enormous weaponry!

As such, if I do for some ridiculous and abstract reason, get involved in Kildare, you'll want to avoid not only me, but my soldiers as well. Talk about

loyal subjects to stand fast under fire and to give good service with the cold steel in reply

you won't find any more dedicated and fearless soldier than an eight-foot tall man with sharp teeth and nigh-indestructible powered battle armor. They are my famed Chelkran Eilte Guard, dauntless and unbeatable!

[hypatias mom]

Andreas, you might wish to delay that particular pleasure until we can find out if their presence will help us or hurt us...

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

Master Dravot, have you ever been turned into a small toad before?

GRR! DO NOT THREATEN GUESTS! I'M MAD ENOUGH AT YOU AS IS!

[Andreas the Wise]

It's not a threat, merely a question. Corey, you know SCM, you should know I can't actually do that ...
(besides, aren't I allowed even a quasi-threat when the person in question has quasi-threatened to stop me rebelling against myself? )