Ari's Apollonian history dump

[Ari Rahikkala]

I was going through my files looking for stuff I'd written for Straylight... it turns out I ended up finding a few things that I'd written or recorded from the history of Shireroth and the Apollo Sector that might be of some interest...

[Ari Rahikkala]

A forum post by mine that I backed up (probably because I was afraid there'd be a thunderstorm or something and I wanted the post on nonvolatile media). The file's mtime is 26.1.2003, but so are the mtimes of all the other files in that directory, so it's likely to actually be older. I have no idea where I posted this.

* happens to surf by *

Hm, seems like at least Nova Vorlona really was a very short-lived project - I managed to visitave been http://pub114.ezboard.com/bmicronationa ... twork48264 , I couldn't find the post when I looked for it now), but when I clicked to it from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/micronationalism/links , it had already been deleted.

Anyway, I'm an "old" micronationalist with a few years of experience, so I can handily seize this opportunity to convert you all to my mode of thinking when you're still ignorant . First of all, at least after reading Garven's long post, it seems that what you are creating is more like a story game (term thought up by me five seconds ago) like The Frontier than a micronation like The Kingdom of Babkha. These two happen to be quite different beasts. Story forums generally tend to be simulations where certain people, moderators, have final say on what is feasible and what isn't; Micronations are more personal, less simulated and have no game masters who can say "Simulation event foo has just happened, act accordingly." For example, if you write a piece about a fleet of ships bombing a planet, in a story game the one who is in charge of that planet will have to answer in some way (by organizing defenses or by just describing his ass getting kicked, or something else) while in a micronation you will be laughed out because everyone knows that the simulated bombing doesn't have any effect on anybody's ability to post.

Micronations do have some simulation elements; for example, the rather widely (but definitely not universally) accepted Micronational Cartography Society's map of the planet that seems frighteningly likely to soon be called fnord is not only a place where a nation will get itself placed if it wants to be recognised seriously by some of the nations on the map, also a place where borders are often changed after disputes between nations. Still, it's of only symbolic value; almost no decisions are made as a result of consulting the map. There are some talks of basing a transmicronational economic system on the MCS resource map, but since micronationalists in general tend to be very lazy about simulation matters, they've only been talks this far.

As you might have noticed, being a micronation wouldn't really work for many of the ideas I've seen here (save the creating political parties and passing laws - that's pretty vague, after all). So just as a hint, you shouldn't really be looking at micronations. Instead, you should be getting your ideas from story games or RPGs like The Frontier, Starship Kotuku, the Civ3-Stories forum at the Apolyton Civilization Site or, if you want to maim the minds of your future visitors in an especially brutal way, Umbagollah. I don't have very much experience from story games, so I will only be able to give a few hints (if you ask for them) on how to set one up if you decide to go that way.

So... I could rave on a lot, but it's more efficient for you to ask questions. I'll check this forum periodically for some time and do my best to answer.

* catches a wave and surfs on *

[Ari Rahikkala]

Uh... probably by me, considering the inconsistent tone. I'm afraid that by now it's more likely to be accidentally amusing than deliberately amusing... same directory, same creation time: 26.1.2003 or earlier.

Survival guide: Apollo

INTRODUCTION

"Reality is a crutch for those who can't take micronationalism."

Apollo sector is a weird place. Seriously. Things have happened at Apollo sector that most normal people would not even think about, and even if they did, their brains would be so disgusted of the thought that they would crawl out of their owner's ears. Being an active member in an Apollo sector micronation has changed everyone who has ever gone through that experience, irreversibly. Homo sapiens apollonianus, also known as the "domestic Apollonian" (we couldn't call them normal Apollonians, because there are none) is a human subrace that possesses very distinct traits compared to your everyday Homo sapiens sapiens. While domestic Apollonians usually can easily converse with each other, in almost the same way as humans, information is generally not so very easy to transfer from an Apollonian to a human or vice versa. In this guide we will discuss the basics of Apollonian psychology and give some hints on how to behave near Apollonians.

The guide is divided into three parts: The first part, History and Culture, tells the necessary information about Apollo sector itself. Part two, the Apollonians, is a gallery of the most prominent and significant people of the Apollo sector. Part three examines the general Apollonian psychology and the behaviour that is expected from you.

Part 1:

HISTORY

You really do not want to know about Apollo sectory. It is just as boring as your everyday historical event - the Magna Carta or the power of the Pope in the middle ages. Even though the history was condensed into a very small time when it actually happened, it is usually full of dull bug micronations (e.g. some of the Treesias, most of AFTP:s descendants) and confusing relationships. However, for those who are actually interested, we have prepared a brief timeline of the most important happenings of the Apollo sector:

o AIN comes
o AIN dies
o AIN comes again
o FIoJ comes
o AIN dies again
o AIN comes again, FIoJ joins
o AIN dies again, FIoJ secedes
o FIoJ dies

There were also lots of mergers, but as no Apollo merger ever worked, they don't really have any significance.

2)



Part 3:

THE DANGEROUS APOLLONIAN

Many hell-bent Apollonians are convinced that everyone in the microworld should know even the little details of the history of the Apollo sector, or hear about the "Where are the my pants?" thread, or see for themselves the glory of the Ducks, Glue and Sandpaper effect. However, it is entirely possible and probable that people who have remained sane suffer serious brain damage if an Apollonian communicates with them too quickly. Fortunately a standard procedure for these situations is already developed, and discussed here:

1. An Apollonian is approaching me. What should I do?

If he seems agitated, or in any other way keen to tell you something that he thinks is very important, jump to 3. Otherwise, read 2.

2. You're safe. Relax and breathe deeply.

3. Prepare yourself. Stuffing your ears full of something protective is recommended. At this part is legal to throw a snowball at the Apollonian as self-defense.

Now, ask the Apollonian what he wants to tell you.

If he wants to tell you about some recent event, jump to advice 4. If he wants to tell you about Apollo sector history, culture, or some figure in the Apollo sector history, choose 5. If he wants to talk to you about weather, choose 2. In any other case, go to 4.

4. These are usually not very dangerous. Pretend to listen while you leaf through your favourite pocket book. If the Apollonian asks for something, tell them that you "have to read the last post". This way you get time to think up a bullshit answer.

5. Immediate defense measures are needed. Do not let the Apollonian speak any further, but tell him to leave immediately.

If he does leave, go to 2. If he doesn't, read on.

6. So he's a bad boy? In these cases you are usually safest if you only retreat strategically and leave the Apollonian dumbfounded. Some phrases to confuse an Apollonian to get you more time:

"For the love of Ming, leave!" - this is a common phrase used in banishing evil Apollonian spirits. This will leave most of them incapacitated and even make some of the weaker Apollonians run in fear.

"NIM" - this is a rarely known, but very powerful incantation of power. Use it only in dire cases, and only against the most central Apollonian figures - none of the incantations here work against Apollonians who do not know the words of power contained within, and "NIM" is a very reserved word. Note that pronouncing "NIM" might be quite hard; It must be done with a special tongue roll, but never pronounced as "NYM". Saying "NYM" will bring Apollonians flocking.

"I'll get stodlum to crack you!" - you must look and sound very determined when you say this, otherwise it will not work. This is a rather easy incantation for those who are good enough as actors, and therefore quite commonly used.

If none of these worked, there is yet one word that will strike the essence of fear itself into the very hearts of all Apollonians. Its power is ultimate, its effect immediate and magnificent. Use it wisely. If there is any doubt in your mind that there is any other way of surviving than using this incantation, then use that other way. This word of absolute power is proof of that war is not the last solution to problems - this one comes even after it.

You need a special readying for this incancation. Stand upright. Close your eyes. Rise your right hand so that it is straight against your body - the normal of it. Raise all your fingers as high up as you can. Your hand should now look like a "stop" sign. Now, open your eyes. It is quite possible that you see only white - this is because even thinking of using the coming incantation has caused power to manifest into your body, causing your eyes to burn unholy fire. Concentrate as hard as you can, and pronounce these three words (in this order):

Evan von Christoph

[Ari Rahikkala]

This one was written by Diga in Tymaria. While I never actually created an independent micronation of my own, I pretty much consider Shireroth to be "the place for me". Then again, Erik and I *are* the same person, if you ask the TYSOG... in any case, this post somehow gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Again, from 26.1.2003 or earlier.

I am finally glad that Cranda and Attera have made it past their differences, but, I do have to address the issue of Mr. Ari.
One of the supporters of the weak-minded who brought Tymaria down for the benefit of Babkha. What a pity and a great loss. Mr. Belci, learn from Tymaria's mistake and never allow the weak to gain the upper hand in Cranda.
Mr. Belci, allow me to add my views on this individual. No loyalty, not even to himself. No ethics. No willingness to fight for what he believes in. A jelly fish in essence.
While he may throw slights my way, one fact remains. Attera is still one of the greatest micronations ever. While his group and others were trying to put me out of micronationalism, they actually only made me stronger and my micronation even more powerful.
While he may think of Attera as a bunch of so-called trouble makers, he must be mindful of the fact that we are willing to fight on behalf of our honor. He may personally wish to "turn the other cheek", but, as I was raised in the harshness of the Ethiopian highlands, I was taught to believe that turning the other cheek only gets you a busted up face.
I, for one, am one who firmly believes that the weak will not inherit the earth, but will continually lick the bottom of the strong's jack boot. That's the way history has been since the beginning. For Attera to "throw her weight around" may be wrong for some, but, for us, we think that we are right. Now tell me this: How long has Attera been online as a micronation? Three long and hard years! How long has any of Ari's been online? Definitely not as long. So, what example is Cranda going to follow? The weak, who feel words and insults are to be ignored or the strong who will punch you in the mouth for even thinking them. I choose the latter, for one simple reason: MIGHT MAKES RIGHT! ...and there's nothing anyone can do about it because that's the way of the world.
So, if being the micronation with the strongest military ever makes Attera a bunch of "trouble makers", then, I am proud to lead them. Yet, I am a realist who sees it like this...those who insult those that they either don't have the courage to confront and whisper behind the backs of those same people are the real trouble makers in my view, because they feel that they are immune from actual harm. But, by Attera's willingness to "stick it to them" doesn't make us trouble makers, it only causes those cowards to think twice before speaking or to keep it to themselves. That's like calling the Israelis trouble makers because they don't back down from a challenge. Well if you haven't noticed by now, Attera is essentially Israeli and American in mindset. We are willing to bust you up, so to speak if we need to, but are willing to befriend you if you are willing to meet us half way. Not to mention, with our friends, we don't run and hide when the chips are down, as we will always give the shirts off of our backs for those we respect as friends.

So, the moral of my long tirade is the following statement: Silence is indeed a virtue and those that can't back up tough talk, should, rightfully keep their mouths shut.

But, you see Mr. Ari, I can talk tough and back it up. Don't hate me because Attera is at the top of the food chain, just grow to love us because we actually serve a purpose! Oh, and in case you don't have faith in us, I must inform you that we'll be around for a very, very, very long time. So, the choice is yours, learn to deal with us, learn to get out of our way, or learn to beat us! There can only be one choice, but I seriously doubt that it will be the last option!