This Old Sanct

[Ryan]

Unspeakable Horror, also known as Smaugaria, lived up to its name as possibly the worst sanct in all of Straylight. The construction of the facility was held together with more duct tape than actual glue or metal. Rather than construct it from a solid base of materials, the sanct had been built in a haphazard fashion, with materials scavenged from every place imaginable. According to the COSAC Housing Authority, the sanct should be condemned, torn down, and sold for scrap. Yet for the newly crowned Duke Ryan of Straylight, this so-called worthless sanct would be the perfect opportunity to renovate into a ducal palace outside of his primary residence in Yardistan.

But the duke only had limited knowledge of such renovation. Sure, he had worked on land-based buildings, but this was something in a whole new league. Not to mention that dukes weren’t supposed to be working like peasants (at least not in public). So Duke Ryan decided to call on the experts; Bob Vila and Norm Abram. Together, these two professionals would run an ongoing series detailing the renovation of Unspeakable Horror into something new and beautiful.

BlueTube is proud to present: This Old Sanct

[Ryan]

Day 1: Asbestos Among Us



The first day of renovations began as an effort to tackle to most pressing issues facing Unspeakable Horror. The underlaying piping system, which included thermal induction via water pipe, was insulated by asbestos lining. This was common back in the middle and early part of the twentieth century, when few other materials were available. This was not the case for Unspeakable Horror, which was built in the latter half of the century. The sanct's architect, Lord Kariklaw, was a cheap prude that believed almost religiously in the phrase "if it's free, it's gotta be good". To this end, he built much of Unspeakable Horror with materials scavenged from industrial demolition sites. Since most of the asbestos pipes were removed from modern buildings, Kariklaw saw in this a golden opportunity to take the pipe and install it here, saving himself both the cost of the iron and insulating material.

A special crew of hazmat-trained personnel was brought in to remove the asbestos without releasing the toxic particles into the air. The pipe was sealed with plastic, flooded with water, and then removed in a liquid environment, to safely-locked storage tanks, where it awaits disposal.

The iron pipe looked to be in good condition, and was therefore be kept, replacing only rusted or extremely worn areas. New fiberglass insulation has been wrapped around the pipes to replace the asbestos. The thermal induction pipe is associated with the OTEC plant, which uses thermal differences for energy. Insulating the pipe is therefore necessary in order to prevent heat loss while the water is transfered from one area to another. By all accounts, asbestos is a better insulator, since it is much more densely packed and can be applied with minimal gaps. Fiberglass therefore has to be placed in nearly double-thickness in order to obtain the same R-value.

With this step finished, and the toxic dangers in Unspeakable Horror removed, steps can no begin on structural renovation.

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!

[Harvey Steffke]

You're the strangest person ever.

[Ryan]

I'm writing this as I'm in the process of renovating my house - a 150-year-old farm. So it's a nice way to vent with some humor.


Day 2: London Bridge Is Falling Down



Part of Unspeakable Horror's platform towers were demolished today as efforts began to clear the way for a new and much larger platform that will be hauled into place soon. The sanct was originally built out of several small platforms that were linked together by girders and then sheathed over, creating a large deck surface. A number of smaller towers subsequently sprang up over the years, and most were built in a haphazard fashion. COSAC Housing authorities stated that many of these additional towers were beyond the capacity for renovation and needed to be demolished. They also issued diagrams showing that the central platform - which supports the main superstructure - also needed repairs and strengthening. Since the Duke wanted to expand the platform's area and capacity, the need to remove the old platforms became a necessity.

New platforms are currently under construction in Yardistan and will be towed into place as soon as they are ready and the debris from the old towers is fully removed.

The demolition process relied primarily on the use of explosives in order to drop the platforms in a vertical implosion and therefore minimize safety risks. Charges were set at the base of the towers along key structural supports, and then detonated at a safe distance. Inhabitants and crew of Unspeakable Horror have been evacuated and temporarily housed in nearby Sargassum until renovations are complete. Their needs are being paid for in entirety by a generous grant from BlueTube thanks to the popularity of This Old Sanct.

A few of the towers burst into flames before dropping into the sea. In order to prevent ecological damage, large floating sponge nets were used to maintain a perimeter around the demolition areas. These absorbed any oil on the surface, and kept debris from floating out to sea. As many chemicals and other toxins as possible were removed before demolition. The demolished towers will be hauled away to scrapyards on the mainland, and sold for metal value.

With the demolition of the towers, the path has been paved for work to begin on constructing the new sections of Unspeakable Horror. The Duke has stated that due to these upgrades, that he expects to initiate a dedication ceremony renaming the sanct to something more fitting soon. The Duke was quoted as saying "It's really not that bad to deserve such a name!" before a rusted portion of the platform gave way and he fell into the sea.

Next time, on This Old Sanct! Only on BlueTube!

[Ryan]

Day 3: Navy Lines Up For Dedication Ceremony



The Yardistani Navy lined up alongside the sanct formerly known as Unspeakable Horror as the dedication ceremony unfolded in which the platform community was to be renamed. The carrier ship Big Guns Compensating For Something was out in full regalia as soldiers paraded around the sanct in boats, and above it in aircraft. Duke Ryan of Yardistan was on the newly-built platform plaza to issue the proclamation renaming Unspeakable Horror thanks to the ongoing renovations provided for by This Old Sanct, LLC. Accompanying him was a full outfit of Mar Saran Space Marines, his personal guard, and several other officials who, while probably important, aren't important enough to be named here.

The Duke made a lengthy speech in which he indebted many thanks upon the team of This Old Sanct for their ongoing efforts on the community renovation. He noted that while work had been given some setbacks, things were proceeding nicely. Nearly 90% of the original structure of Unspeakable Horror has been demolished, and now new construction has entirely rebuilt the platform with a much larger capacity, high-efficiency equipment, and a brand-new OTEC facility. The finishing touches will come over the course of the next few weeks as the platform linkage is finished and the dwellings/buildings are built on the platform itself. This may sound redundant, and it probably is, but that's government spending for you.

At the conclusion of his speech, the Duke allowed for tension to build before finally someone in the audience threw a smelly clam at him and demanded he "GET ON WITH IT!". Obviously getting the hint (and a hint of something rather foul), the Duke presented the new name: Lightwave

The new name was initially met with a mixed reaction. Some people liked it right away, while others were more hesitant. But the overall feeling in general, especially from those who had to live under the name of Unspeakable Horror, were in agreement that it was better than the old name. Bob Vila and Norm Abram, who were present at the ceremony, also indicated their approval. When asked what was next for the show, Vila said "With the base of the sanct complete, there's only one way to go from here - up!"

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!

[Harvey Steffke]

Big Guns Compensating For Something

I love these. You're really witty. Please keep making them.

[Ryan]

Day 4: New Flag Unveiled for Lightwave Sanct



The Duke of Yardistan unveiled a flag to accompany his renaming of the sanct from Unspeakable Horror to Lightwave. In a ceremony much smaller than that of the renaming dedication - thanks in part to the insane price tag the navy handed the Duke after the ceremony - an outfit of Lightwavian and Yardistani officials hoisted the new flag, along with the flag of Yardistan, up a large pole in the center of the platform plaza. Seagulls were shooed away prior to the event by a horde of B'caw worshippers so as to prevent defilement of the event, since the new flag pole happened to be a favorite perch for the sea birds.

According to the Duke, the flag was designed in similar fashion to the other flags of Straylight - that being randomly playing with graphics software until something appropriate appeared. Apparently, the budget was so dented by the naval ceremony that even the proper software could not be purchased. So instead the Duke referred to Google and much much cheaper software to fashion the new design. In the Duke's own words, the flag "imitates the combination of light filtering through the water in a wave-like fashion". Residents generally nodded in agreement that it was a good choice, despite the fact they didn't even have a flag before.

Bob Vila and Norm Abram were back on shore this week after they reported needing more materials to construct the buildings on the platforms. Coincidentally, it was also reported that there had been a liquor shortage on the sanct. It is unknown if the two events are related. Both men will be back next week to continue the show as planned.

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!

[dr-spangle]

I the topic and instantly my mind went to "this old sanct, he played one, ..."

[Ryan]

Day 5: Tower Hotel Begins Construction



The Tower Hotel, a massive central skyscraper that is being built on the largest of Lightwave's platforms, began construction today. The hotel will be one of the largest structures built on Lightwave, outside of the residential quarter and Ducal Palace. Massive iron girders were welded into place, forming the box-like base of the structure that will reach forty stories into the sky. While not the tallest building in the world, architects were concerned about making the structure too high in an open area such as the ocean where wind gusts can be exceptionally high and strong. "We're most concerned with the structural integrity of the tower," said Harry Pitt, the construction foreman. "The previous platform was built to sub-par standards, and we're working to ensure that doesn't happen here. The safety of the residents and tourists is of the utmost priority."

Among the features of the hotel will be window-side pools and saunas among the upper floors. These exceptional swimming spots will give visitors a vast view of the ocean expanse, while allowing them the comfort of remaining in a comfortable hotel environment. "It could be snowing outside," said Marlene Jacobs, Director of Tourism for the Tower Hotel. "And still people will be able to enjoy a hot sauna overlooking the ocean. It's a very attractive package." The hotel will also sport 200 rooms, a 24 hour cafeteria, a large lobby with a number of small retail shops, a marina, and an adjacent recreational platform that will hold a miniature golf course and several other rec facilities.

The tower is expected to take the remainder of the year to complete, and will be ongoing along with the remainder of Lightwave's new construction. Work on the residential quarter will begin within a few days, according to Vila and Abram, who are currently overseeing the offloading of materials for that particular project. It is anticipated that the Tower Hotel will be a boon for the Lightwavian economy, adding a supplement to local oceanware industries, such as salt processing, seafood, and calcium (seashell) export. The new business will help diversify the economy and make it less reliant on industry. Some residents have expressed concern over becoming "another fru fru tourist spot", although officials have staunchly denied such intent.

The next episode of This Old Sanct will feature news on the construction of the residential quarter.

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!

[Ari Rahikkala]

I love the flag . It's actually more Straylightian than it first appears - the flags of places like Sunderspray and Backbone Site were produced by running XaoS with a very low escape time iteration count (i.e. somewhere around 5 or so, when interesting fractal images usually have counts in the hundreds for unzoomed images and quite possibly millions for zoom-ins). Essentially, they're not so much about fractalness than they are about some limited amount of recursive structure. This flag has a clear branching structure, granted with most nodes really close to the root, but it's recursive nonetheless. Soo... I like it a lot for that

Also, that's an interesting list of industries. I've lately been thinking of of magnesium-based manufacturing with primary production based on electrolysis from sea water... but because of the expense of power production, it probably wouldn't be economically significant except for sancts with really cheap electricity, i.e. nuclear or big OTEC plants in tropical areas, i.e. pretty much nothing but Discontinuity... It makes sense that mariculture would be big, and I haven't thought of calcium at all - I'll have to see how that's produced...

* considers doing some writing on Straylight, looks at schoolwork, and curses *

[Shyriath]

(I can't resist doing something like this.)

Sunderspray Reacts Positively to Lightwave's Development

CALLAMEN'S EYE, Sunderspray - At the recent biannual Assembly of the nomadic ship-clans of Sunderspray aboard Callamen's Eye, the captains and representatives of the ships voted unanimously in favor of a resolution welcoming the redevelopment of Unspeakable Horror as the sanct of Lightwave and commending Duke Ryan of Yardistan, the current feudal lord of Straylight, for his involvement.

Captain Shyriath-Bukolos of the Osprey Striking, currently Count of Sunderspray, summed up the mood of his people. "It's a good sign to see our new Duke devoting himself to the redevelopment of a sanct. Clearly, as lord of a Duchy with a strong maritime base, His Grace understands the importance of increasing the economic strength and visibility of our seaborne resources."

Quartermaster Kesryn Quickhand of the Ruined Innocence was somewhat more vernacular in her support. "The place was a gullplucking eyesore. Hell, it was a health hazard! The portmaster's tower collapsed, I mean actually collapsed, in the middle of docking maneuvers! They had to go appoint a new portmaster and find him a megaphone to finish the instructions to the ships!"

Bound up as the Sundersprites are in maritime trade and transport for the sancts of Straylight, the commercial opportunities of Lightwave are not going unnoticed. There are reports of four or five of their vessels waiting to dock at the sanct to attempt to trade with the construction workers, with the ones further back in line going so far as to launch advertising slogans tethered to low-flying balloons in order to attract attention. Meanwhile, a number of tourist-focused vessels, anticipating the popularity of Lightwave in particular and revival of tourism to Straylight in general, have formed a consortium under the name SanctServ Cruises to organize Straylight-wide travel routes with stops at the more notable sancts. Newly elected SanctServ President, Captain Fala Tightfist of the Filthy Lucre, recently told reporters that talks were ongoing with Duke Ryan over the possibility of the consortium being given endorsement as the official cruise line of the new sanct.

Captain Fala also took the opportunity to clarify some related matters for the media. "In regards to unfounded and untrue rumors," she said, "let me make perfectly clear that the very idea that SanctServ would have offered His Grace a gigantic bribe in exchange for considering our endorsement is ludicrous, and no doubt a blatant and cowardly attack on our integrity by our less able rivals. I call on them not to let their inability to effectively compete with us blind them to the state of their own honor."

When it was pointed out to the Captain that there had, in fact, been no rumors of bribery, at least up until the point of her statement, she declined further comment and hurried away from her podium.

[Ryan]

Day 6: Fuller's Tetrahedronal Design to be Used for Residential Quarter



Architects working on Lightwave have decided to go ahead with using plans based on designs initially devised by the great R. Buckminster Fuller. The plans call for tetrahedronal residency platforms that will be linked to the central plaza platform and other city platforms. "In this case," said Wilhelm Schwaan, one of the architects, "we're building up, rather than out." The design implements what looks like, in layman's terms, a stepped pyramid similar to Mayan temples. Each 'step' in this case would be a different level/floor of the residential platform, and each would have a small deck area in which plants could be grown and people could get outside to enjoy the sea air. The uppermost deck would have community amenities, such as a community garden, park, and swimming pool.

Unlike the more posh areas of Lightwave, which are being designed with tourists in mind, the residential quarter will consist of four platforms each with a Fullerene apartment block. Each will have ample access to the harbor, commercial, industrial, and plaza platforms, with indirect access (via the plaza platform) to the tourist, administrative, and ducal platforms. Some have already complained that the government doesn't want to be close to the residents, and that access was intentionally made indirect. The Duke responded by saying that the number of platforms was limited, and that things just happened that way without any malicious intent. More residents complained, saying bridges should be added to provide more direct access to all platforms. To this, the Duke scoffed, and said something intelligible about building a rope bridge and hoping they choke on it.

The architecture firm, Bob & Bob (Wilhelm & Wilhelm in Cranda), originally presented the Duke with over a dozen architectural proposals. The long list was slowly narrowed down as the Duke himself and numerous consultants pored over the drawings deciding what proposal best suited the sanct. The Duke, wishing for it to be aesthetically pleasing as well as functional, tirelessly went over the drawings again and again - to the chagrin of the architects. Finally it culminated with the firm issuing a statement to the Duke saying "Pick a bloody design or we quit!", wherein the Duke acquiesced to the Fullerene plans. With the plan now firmly approved, construction has begun on the already-assembled platforms. Rising into the sky like the hanging gardens of Babylon, they will indeed be a sight most welcoming to either resident or visitor.

The next episode of This Old Sanct will feature news on the construction of the agricultural quarter.

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!

[Ryan]

Day 70: Aquaculture to be Focus of Lightwave's Food Industry



As construction continues on Lightwave, the question of how to feed thousands - perhaps eventually millions - of people living on a giant platform in the middle of the ocean has become a pressing problem. Most people, when asked the question, simply answer "fish, of course!". But like all things, answers are never quite that simple. Feasibility studies have already determined that fishing would not provide adequate nourishment to the population, and that in order to feed all the residents, the fish populations themselves would be depleted within a matter of a few short years. The long answer to the problem is that Lightwave will need to adopt a diverse plan in which it will establish not only fishing, but an array of aquaculture facilities that will provide a broad range of nutrition needs for the sanct's populace.

These facilities will begin with a series of floating enclosures that will essentially ride the waves on the water. These enclosures will contain "fields" wherein different foods can be raised. "it's like planting potatoes," said aquaculture consultant Gorton Van De Kamp "if you plant all the same variety, you're more susceptible to a complete loss if they get a blight. But if you diversify with different types of potatoes, you're less susceptible. The same applies to aquaculture." Said diversification will entail the use of these enclosures - several dozen of which have already been built and anchored in the waters around the sanct. In the enclosures will be raised a variety of foodstuffs ranging from kelp (a type of seaweed), nori (another seaweed), algae, fish, and shellfish, such as muscles and clams. Deep-water aquaculture will also be used, such as traditional lobster trapping and clam beds. Edible seaweeds can be processed in sanct factories into nearly any type of food; they are nearly as adaptable as tofu. Likewise, algae can be processed into a highly nutritious food product. The main imported food product will remain fresh water, simply since the desalinization plants cannot keep up with the demand - so far as current technology allows.

Despite the promising future aquaculture offers, some of Lightwave's residents are not entirely happy about their future meals. "But they just opened a McDonald's here!" stated an outraged resident, one Gene Saquid, "We'll all end up eating french fries made out of seaweed when this project is finished! I don't want green french fries!" Clearly, the break with traditional foodstuffs - which have been imported from the mainland since reconstruction of the sanct began nearly four months ago - has caused the population to become somewhat dependent on land-grown food. But in the long term, such luxuries are not sustainable, and Lightwave will eventually have to fall back on its own resources. In the meantime, construction of the aquaculture enclosures continues unabated and officials say they will be functional by the end of the year.

When asked about the situation, Duke Ryan stated that since Straylight had reverted back to an independent duchy, his role in Lightwave's future was as a simple resident, patron, and philanthropist. "They can take their complaints to the Duke of Straylight if they're not happy about what they're being fed," said the Yardistani eminence, "but I doubt he'll do much, given that it's not on his tab that this work is being done." And with that the Duke dismissed further comment, retreating back to his palace residence platform. Phone calls to the Straylight Office of Inquest were rebutted for not having the proper Request for Information forms filled out. Said forms would take three weeks to be processed, and BlueTube felt it wasn't worth the effort, given the show's ratings indicate only five people actually watch the series; and all of them lived in basement apartments.

The next episode of This Old Sanct will feature news on the maintenance bay of the sanct.

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!

[Harvey Steffke]

Hay, I have a 2nd story apartment, thank you very much!

[Ryan]

Day 100: Leviathan Discovered Under Central Platform



It seems that the old name for Lightwave Sanct, that of Unspeakable Horror, seems to have had some truth to it. After a minor earthquake was registered at the sanct, authorities began conducting seismic scans of the ocean floor to check for any fault lines, as none had previously been detected or known to exist in the area. As it turns out, the tremblor had nothing to do with the shifting of tectonic plates. In fact, seismographs showed a much more startling surprise deep below the pylons of the central plaza. It would seem that several deep caverns, otherwise isolated from the surface, exist deep below the seafloor. Some of these caverns may in fact lead even deeper and off in other directions - places which the seismic scans could not detect. But what they also picked up on the scan was a giant creature apparently stirring in the large chamber directly below the sanct!

"This is an amazing find," said Dr. Peasley of Leng University. "Here we have an totally unrecorded species of immense size, about as big as a whale, and clearly sentient." Dr. Peasley had been brought in from Universalis, along with numerous other experts, to help determine what the creature under Lightwave was. A team of specialists managed to drill a hole into the chamber, which was, as it turns out, only half-filled with water, and a ballast of oxygen. The creature inside had apparently just awoken - but was quite fluent in English!

Dr. Peasely, who had been studying eldritch languages in Leng, was the first to attempt communication with the leviathan. This wasn't very difficult since the creature was clearly psychic and easily able to command the English language. Upon the initial interchange, Dr. Peasley reported that the creature answered to no name, but that it had been asleep for aeons beneath Lightwave until awoken by recent construction above. Apparently all the racket being made by contractors had given it quite a headache and it was trying to tuck its head under the pillows, inadvertently resulting in the tremblor.

The good doctor described the creature as being about the size and breadth of a large whale, with three frontal eyes, four large tentacled "arms", two smaller tentacles nearer to the head, and numerous small tentacles near the mouth. The rear of the creature is similar to a fish with a sideways-oriented tail, as opposed to the flat orientation of a whale. The creature possesses gills for breathing underwater, but also has a blowhole like a whale and can breathe just as easily in an oxygen environment. While clearly adapted to an aquatic environment, the creature seems adapted to function in a mixed habitat.

Further dialogue revealed that the creature has lived in the area for millennia, and that in old times the early sailors who came through would pay homage to him and his race via gifts of fried chicken. Which, being an undersea race, was quite hard to come by, what with everything being fish, fish, fish. A real earthquake sometime after however caused part of the caverns to collapse, sealing them in the underground labyrinth. The creature was quite pleased to learn that a Kentucky Fried Chicken was among one of the new businesses set to open on Lightwave, and praised the Duke of Yardistan for his brilliant maneuvering. KFC has agreed to build a shunt down to the chamber which it can regularly send down buckets of chicken poppers. The creature has in turn signed on with KFC to do a two-year advertising campaign.

Although considered horrible by some, hence the old name of the spot (Unspeakable Horror), modern views consider the creature to be simply unique rather than an abomination. Scientists have already begun flocking to the area - but authorities have turned most of them away. "This is a sentient creature we have here," said a government spokesperson, "and we will not treat it like an animal. It is afforded the same rights as every other resident of Lightwave." The creature has also expressly forbidden any further exploration of the caverns off of his private domain, and made this a certainty by collapsing the entrance behind him, sealing himself off from the deeper areas as well. He insisted that this was to prevent public outcry over "horrors beyond imagination", although most think it's just so he can horde to chicken to himself rather than sharing with his brethren.

Special accommodations are being built under the sanct to allow a permanent residency for the leviathan to live out the rest of his days... weeks... aeons? whatever! A large wet suite will be constructed under the main platform, and the remaining caverns will be closed permanently, the leviathan opting for the more modern tastes in housing. "I imagine he will be a model citizen of Lightwave," added Dr. Peasely. "Or at the very least, a boon for the fried chicken industry!"

This Old Sanct will return to normal news in the next episode.

Next time, on This Old Sanct. Only on BlueTube!