I Require a Minister of the Exterior

[Kaiser Hasan I]

I need someone to operate the "Diplomatron 5000" (the machine that receives and spits out treaties). Anyone interested in this prestigious socio-mechanical position may reply in this thread after answering the following:


- Have you any experience in the field of Exterior excellence?

- Why do you want to be the Minister of the Exterior?

- How are you with PR when I make statements like "Babkhans are a race of whores and thieves"?

- Are you an MCS council member and whats your track record?

- Metaphorically, there are two trains on the same track representing Shireroth's current foreign policy. One train is leaving NYC heading west at 0500hrs and the other is leaving LA heading east at 0600hrs, how quickly can you clean up a train wreck and establish an international presence that strikes fear and jealousy in the hearts of the community with our rise to glory?

[Andreas the Wise]

Sounds like a good set of requirements! I qualify for all but the Council Member bit, but I'm too busy with Gralan foreign affairs ... it really wouldn't be appropriate for me to manage the Foreign Affairs of two superpowers ...

But I'm always available to help with drafting treaties or the occasional PR disaster if needed

[Liam conToketi]

- Have you any experience in the field of Exterior excellence?

Uh, I was everything for Toketi in it's infancy, and that turned out alright, eh? That and I have a habit of making well-worded threats.

- Why do you want to be the Minister of the Exterior?

Now that Shireroth is my only citizenship, I want to help out more, and this is one of the few positions open and I have some experience in it.

- How are you with PR when I make statements like "Babkhans are a race of whores and thieves"?

Considering you've spent time as a high-ranking Babkhan official, I suspect such a comment would never cross your lips save for in this question, so PR shouldn't be a problem there. For statements of it's like, I'm not too bad at fixing things, but then Andreas follows me up and takes all the credit...

- Are you an MCS council member and whats your track record?

Not an MCS council member, but I'm essentially part of the furniture there and I did vote on one claim (since that claim disqualified all the council members from voting).

- Metaphorically, there are two trains on the same track representing Shireroth's current foreign policy. One train is leaving NYC heading west at 0500hrs and the other is leaving LA heading east at 0600hrs, how quickly can you clean up a train wreck and establish an international presence that strikes fear and jealousy in the hearts of the community with our rise to glory?

Fear and jealousy? Our age, size, and reputation are enough to ensure this. A quick reminder would be sufficient. Since you failed to state magnitude of velocity for these trains, I can assume they were either moving very slow (and therefore clean-up would be minimal) or they were moving near the speed of light (and therefore probably vaporized, making clean-up unnecessary).

[Liam conToketi]

- Have you any experience in the field of Exterior excellence?

Uh, I was everything for Toketi in it's infancy, and that turned out alright, eh? That and I have a habit of making well-worded threats.

- Why do you want to be the Minister of the Exterior?

Now that Shireroth is my only citizenship, I want to help out more, and this is one of the few positions open and I have some experience in it.

- How are you with PR when I make statements like "Babkhans are a race of whores and thieves"?

Considering you've spent time as a high-ranking Babkhan official, I suspect such a comment would never cross your lips save for in this question, so PR shouldn't be a problem there. For statements of it's like, I'm not too bad at fixing things, but then Andreas follows me up and takes all the credit...

- Are you an MCS council member and whats your track record?

Not an MCS council member, but I'm essentially part of the furniture there and I did vote on one claim (since that claim disqualified all the council members from voting).

- Metaphorically, there are two trains on the same track representing Shireroth's current foreign policy. One train is leaving NYC heading west at 0500hrs and the other is leaving LA heading east at 0600hrs, how quickly can you clean up a train wreck and establish an international presence that strikes fear and jealousy in the hearts of the community with our rise to glory?

Fear and jealousy? Our age, size, and reputation are enough to ensure this. A quick reminder would be sufficient. Since you failed to state magnitude of velocity for these trains, I can assume they were either moving very slow and the time it took for them to meet was too long to mention (and therefore clean-up would be minimal) or they were moving near the speed of light and met almost instantaneously (and therefore probably vaporized, making clean-up unnecessary).

[Andreas the Wise]

Though, my Kaiser, I must caution you against his double posting ...

Seriously though, Liam would be a good Minister for the Exterior. And might mean we'd get a regular visit from a Shirithian, that's always good ...
(And Liam, I only did that after you once. The other six times I had to clean it up myself, so excuse me if I'm used to that. )

[Liam conToketi]

Whoops, I clicked quote instead of edit...*stupid buttons confusing me*...

[Tahmaseb]

- How are you with PR when I make statements like "Babkhans are a race of whores and thieves"?

Considering you've spent time as a high-ranking Babkhan official, I suspect such a comment would never cross your lips save for in this question, so PR shouldn't be a problem there. For statements of it's like, I'm not too bad at fixing things, but then Andreas follows me up and takes all the credit...

If you think yourself a good material for the job you should know that for us Babkhans it is a compliment. The Kaiser knows this so obviously it was a trick question.

[Andreas the Wise]

Woah, a new Babkhan's appeared ...

Well, when I say new, I mean hasn't been seen for a while ...

[Yvain Wintersong]

Now that Shireroth is my only citizenship, I want to help out more, and this is one of the few positions open and I have some experience in it.

Does that mean you quit Gralus? Why?

[Kaiser Hasan I]

The Emir of Vey is correct.

[Jonas]

Babhkans? Where?

*Takes a pitchfork and a burning torch*


(please don't take this too serious)

[Kaiser Hasan I]

When you come from a culture that prides itself on being whores and thieves I don't think there is any worry about being offended

[Liam conToketi]

Regardless, I don't see a problem. I'd trust you to maintain good international appearance, anyway.

And yes, I left Gralus. There are multiple reasons that I don't wish to go into...

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Liam, I appoint you my new Minister of The Exterior. With that I present you with this:





The ceremonial operators manual for the "DIPLOMATRON 5000"


I will see about getting you mod status for the forum, although I'm still uneasy with this admin system.

[Liam conToketi]

Ah, you are too kind, your niftiness. I shall serve Shireroth well.

Well, at least this gives me reason to continue visiting Gralus.

[Jacobus Loki]

Have you any experience in the field of Exterior excellence?

Excellence? No. Adequacy? Nine-ish years

- Why do you want to be the Minister of the Exterior?

I don't. I've go a lot on my plate. Just can't resist this kind of thing.

- How are you with PR when I make statements like "Babkhans are a race of whores and thieves"?

Figured this was a trick question. How many Cyberians does it take to change a lightbiulb?

- Are you an MCS council member and whats your track record?

No and nada.

- Metaphorically, there are two trains on the same track representing Shireroth's current foreign policy. One train is leaving NYC heading west at 0500hrs and the other is leaving LA heading east at 0600hrs, how quickly can you clean up a train wreck and establish an international presence that strikes fear and jealousy in the hearts of the community with our rise to glory?

Quantum tunneling. The trains pass harmlessly through each other.
Blaming Jacobus also works pretty well. Lots of experience there.

Fear and jealousy? There is a proverb that says "Living well is the best revenge". Besides my existence is an implied threat, if anyone needs to employ it.

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Not a problem Liam. Just remember, When running a feedback loop on the DIPLOMATRON 5000, never route circuit line 9 through the TL702 selector switch. It should always remain at - 18a.

[Andreas the Wise]

Not a problem Liam. Just remember, When running a feedback loop on the DIPLOMATRON 5000, never route circuit line 9 through the TL702 selector switch. It should always remain at - 18a.

I learnt that one the hard way ....

Course, they fixed it on the 6000 model ...

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Pffft. yeah, but who has the money for that? I don't care if it has a built-in MP3 rumble pack, its just not worth the money.

[Jacobus Loki]

Bravo! Congrats, Mr. Minister!!

[Erik Mortis]

If only that image was clearer.. 'cuase it has the look of a CPU about it, I recognize the layout from when I designed one once... Unfortunately.. it's to low quality to read the lines clearly... I couldn't find the latches... or was it flip-flops.. gah.. it's been so long... well. either way, both would be in there for keeping state information between cycles...


flip-flop was what I was thinking of.


no.. it's music equipment.... it's so pretty...

[Kaiser Hasan I]

You are in luck my friend, here is the original image:

http://www.hylander.us/images/schematic ... ematic.gif

[Liam conToketi]

Not a problem Liam. Just remember, When running a feedback loop on the DIPLOMATRON 5000, never route circuit line 9 through the TL702 selector switch. It should always remain at - 18a.

Obviously...

Pffft. yeah, but who has the money for that? I don't care if it has a built-in MP3 rumble pack, its just not worth the money.

Ha! Worth the money? Toketi had one for a time and it broke 2 weeks in. I'd wait for the 6100 at least.

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Just try to get the one that doesn't run on Vista...

[Kaiser Hasan I]

that would be the 6000 series. Completely useless without the bi-hourly upgrade pop-ups.

[Erik Mortis]

I'm sure it runs Unix... all *good* machinery does...

[Kaiser Hasan I]

actually I believe this one runs off of steam, vacuum tubes and punch cards.

[Jacobus Loki]

Coal?

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Coal? please, this isn't victorian technology! it functions off of the amazing power of ATOMS!

[Jacobus Loki]

Nelson to "Seaview"........