One of those times.

Fax Celestis · Post by **Fax Celestis** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 8:28 pm

Yeah, you know. Those.

It's been fun, really it has, but Shireroth is in a decline and I've found that (remarkably) I'm losing interest.

I'm not withdrawing my citizenship, but I am moving onwards and upwards. I'm far too busy now anyway, what with my wedding in October and my management position asking more of me each day. I gave up that RealLife Radio thing too, you know, and that was fun. But I just didn't have the time or the energy for it.

I've talked with Val, and I think I agree with her when I say that, you know, it's not real. Its fun to pretend, but I think I'm done with it now.

I'll still check to make sure that nothings blowing up every once in a while, and I'll keep running the D&D games, as I do now.

But perhaps my imagination could be turned to other uses.

I'll deposit written works here intermittently, of course, though I don't know how many of you actually read those. I know Scott thinks that the Hunters of the Stag are weird, and I'm fairly certain most people do. But ah well. Perhaps I don't care. Perhaps I like weirding people out.

EIther way, I'm making like Moose.

H4773r 3lfs0n · Post by **H4773r 3lfs0n** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:29 pm

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James! YOU CANT GO! your the reason i found micronations. your the reason ive stayed in micronations and your the only sane person here who i like, whos not an asshole, and hasnt tried to hit on me (G Russel. no means no!

)

either way. best wishes on your future. Congrads to you and Val (j00 pwn wi7 t3h w0m3n5!) and awesome on the promotion.

osmose1000 · Post by **osmose1000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:36 am

Fax Celestis wrote:EIther way, I'm making like Moose.

Except I didn't try to pull one of those "It's not real, guys." things, I just went nuts and nearly killed myself IN MY OWN BRAIN-MEATS. :P

Bill3000 · Post by **Bill3000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:34 am

This is why Shireroth will fall. This is why Shireroth fails.

If you quit, then you lose everything here. Your work will be forgotten, your efforts made completely and utterly futile. Shireroth is desperately needing more, not less. You losing interest is not an excuse either as the people make the interest of the nation. If people weren't inactive and tried to do stuff in the nation, you wouldn't be having this in the first place!

And don't give me the "It's not real" crap. If it wasn't real, would we have Shirecons? If it wasn't real, would we haven ot put so much effort into here? This may be a hobby, but that does not make it any less valid than any other part of a life. As well, talking with Val, um, you said yourself that you are extremely prone to manipulation. Why are you just talking to her about this when she only has a complete and utter disdain for the hobby? This is far more a priority than, say, a D&D game.

Besides, outside of micronations I wouldn't have much to talk to you about. :/ It's extremely rare for me to talk to someone regarding something that is not related to the hobby that I meet them in. There's only three people in/were in this hobby which I can think otherwise.

Shireroth takes less effort to stay active than an MMORPG. There is absolutely no excuse for any citizen to be active. Interest is the creation of the citizens inside it, including you.

This is merely evidence of the fall that will come if people do not try to combat it - this is more than a "war on boredom", this is a war for the survival of Shireroth. Shireroth's stability has finally gotten to the best of us, and if we do not do anything about it, Shireroth will die. And that means that everyone will forget the nation, because micronations arn't remembered even by the people who participate in it. This constant symptoms of "lack of interest" and "I'm too busy" (bullshit, everyone has time to check the forums for 30 minutes a day and at least chat)

This isn't a "sorry to see you leave" post - it's not meant to be. It's a "You have no excuse to leave, and if you leave, Shireroth will die" post. You were one of the most active citizens left here even in our period of inactivity. Explain yourself, how exactly you cannot do anything to make things interesting here, because interest is only generated by the people inside it.

Eriana Moon · Post by **Eriana Moon** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:25 pm

I agree with Bill that we all have to make Shireroth active and interesting. But Shireroth will never be forgotten even if it dies, which I hope does not happen. Also

If you quit, then you lose everything here. Your work will be forgotten, your efforts made completely and utterly futile.

Not true. I left and Lunaris became more, for lack of a better word Popular as a legacy and I became oddly enough a legend of Shireroth.

And now I'm back, We all come back even if it's just to visit. Don't know why but that's how it's always been.

Thinks a min...

Ok most of us do.

Fax, massive congrats on you and Val. I had no idea. and on the job. Just make sure you stop back by and say hi now and again.

Bill3000 · Post by **Bill3000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:32 pm

But Shireroth will never be forgotten even if it dies, which I hope does not happen.

Oh yes it will. Does anyone here remember Jasonia? Audentior? Menelmacar? Does anyone even care? Most likely not. More importantly, are they any way considered significant to other people outside of those who participated in it? Not at all. At the most they are just history and people today tend to think of "progression" and moving forward. Shireroth will just be another failed nation, 6 year history or not. It's harsh, but it's true. I would bet that a good amount of Shirerothians would retire from micronationalism completely if Shireroth offically dies, and when that happens, you can absolutely be sure that it will be forgotten and be considered non-notable outside of the very few that care about history.

It would be poetic justice, though.

Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:36 pm

You remember Jasonia. I remember Audentior. Of course we'll remember Shireroth.

But no need to start digging a grave just yet. The cycle goes up, the cycle goes down. And do recall Fax has quit twice before. I don't think we'll ever be quite as active as we once were, but so it goes.

Fax Celestis · Post by **Fax Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:38 pm

Three times, actually.

Bill3000 · Post by **Bill3000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:50 pm

But no need to start digging a grave just yet. The cycle goes up, the cycle goes down. And do recall Fax has quit twice before. I don't think we'll ever be quite as active as we once were, but so it goes.

Then there is no goal for the nation. A nation has to have something more than mere survivability to drive it, and if you think that we should not even be as active as before, or strive for it, (outside of the usual "activity = better", but I mean an actual goal of a mission) then we might as well call it quits now before we turn into another Treesia.

And while I remember Jasonia and you remember Audentior, that's it. Outside of our own rememberings, nothing else matters. No one outside of ourselves care about the past, find it to be insigificant. In terms of the micronational world, Shireroth would become meaningless outside of the increasingly delusional "good times" that those who were in it would love. It's the nature of the micronationalist.

No cycle lasts forever. The cycle of the Apollo Sector did not last forever as we thought it would. Shireroth will not last forever, and it is foolish to think so.

Braden Indianensis · Post by **Braden Indianensis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 12:54 pm

I haven't known you long, but I'll be sad to see you go. Best of luck wherever you go, James, though I wish this didn't have to be.

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:22 pm

"All good things must come to an end."

I'm not saying Shireroth will die without Fax. But it sure as hell won't survive if you keep having an attitude like that. Bill, you're borderlining, if not running and jumping over the line of obesession. Shireroth is something fun for people to do. Like gaming it's a place where they can go to pretend to be something they're not. Unfortunately, unlike gaming, it takes time to make it work. Lots of time and effort. And not everyone has the time to dedicate themselves to it. The D&D game is, typically, one night a week, and if he has time, then it can happen more than that, but it's only one night a week. Shireroth, to keep it running properly, is practically a full time job, and he already has one of those. And guess what? It actually pays him money so that we can survive. All Shireroth does is take up his time, so that when he isn't working he's consumed by the computer. Wasting his brain pretending to be a Baron or a Duke or MiniInt or the Priestes of Hjorin etc... etc... Instead he could be out having a life, enjoying nature, doing things with his fiancee, paying bills, or anything else that can be construed as normalcy. All, I'm saying is that this is his choice. And I approve.

You say that he has said that he is open to manipulation. By saying this you imply that I am a manipulative bitch. Well, I suppose you're right Bill. I control all of his actions. He has no will unless it is my own. (I do hope you all can see the sarcasm that I am running with.) What are you doing here, Bill, in these posts? You, yourself, are trying to manipulate him to stay with Shireroth, claiming that it will die without him. Guess who's going to win Bill? Perhaps the one who gives him sex when he wants it, the one whom he wakes up next to.

At that I'm not even winning. I want him to be happy, but also don't want him living like a troll inside of our room, never knowing what it is like to have a life. Perhaps you should try getting one yourself. Might do you some good to step away from Shireroth, leave your computer off for the day, and go take a stroll through the park. There are plenty of people out there who are willing to be your friend. You have to find them. They won't find you. And I can tell you this. It's a lot more comforting to be hugged by a real, live friend, than to be *huggle*d by someone that you've never met through you're computer. The computer doesn't stand up and wrap it's arms around you and tell you that everything will be ok.

Human contact. It's good for the body, it's good for the soul.

Bill3000 · Post by **Bill3000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:00 pm

Shireroth is something fun for people to do. Like gaming it's a place where they can go to pretend to be something they're not.

That's not true. Micronations is more than roleplaying - in fact, roleplaying is usually quite condemned in micronations. The most radical micronations want nothing to do with micronations such as Shireroth in which there is roleplaying and the like, but see it as an actual goal for a sovereign nation. Even here, micronations are more than just roleplaying games - they are first and foremost communities, followed by government simulations. Micronations is more than a game, and even more than a hobby. It requires dedication, although not as much dedication as you'd think it would be. The actual activity of the nation can be done in an hour or so each day. Talking to people about stuff is quite different and technically seperate from the hobby itself.

The entire attitude of "It's okay, you can be inactive, you have a life" is not going to make this nation survive, however. It does not make any micronation survive. A micronation needs to enforce its activity in order to survive. If you arn't willing to dedicate yourself to micronationalism, then why are you here?

You say that he has said that he is open to manipulation. By saying this you imply that I am a manipulative bitch.

No, I am implying that he said himself that he is very open to manipulation, and I've seen it himself when he caves in to everything.

I'm ignoring your comments toward me. This thread is about Shireroth, not about me, and I do not appreciate your ad hominem attacks. The entire "get a life" argument is bunk and irrelevant.

Post by **Scott of Hyperborea** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:40 pm

Having a life is good, and I would suggest it to everyone (except maybe Bill, who might shrivel up if exposed to the sun for too long). But having a life along with an escape valve from that life is even better.

You say that James is "wasting his brain" playing with the Priests of Horjin while he could be out doing stuff like paying bills. And you are right. But when I look back on my life I find that it's the time that I've wasted that I've enjoyed most of all.

I do a lot of things you'd call having a life. I edit a newspaper, I fence almost every day, I go out and do stuff with friends, and next year I'll be teaching full-time. But in order to keep myself sane, I also waste time. I read fantasy novels that contain far more dragons and giants than they do Helpful Tips for Business Success. I write poetry that I know is never going to make me any money or prestige. And I help build Shireroth. I understand that to you it looks like a lot of losers spending their time hunched over their computers, and from any reasonable viewpoint it probably *is* a lot of losers hunched over their computers, but to us it's also a community and a work of art.

I can guarantee you that James will get many, many chances to pay his bills in the future. I wish you and him absolutely the best (I hope to be able to come up and meet you later this summer) and if God is good to him he will get many, many chances to spend quality time with you in the future. But I don't know how many chances he'll get to be a part of a real community and dream up a really creative work of art in the future, and this isn't worth giving up completely.

If he's spending too much time in front of the computer, definitely pry him away from it. Make him quit some of his more time-consuming positions here. Stars know we'd *all* be better off with someone to make us do that once in a while. But don't try to drag him out of Shireroth, and don't be so sure that you know who we are and what we're about as much as you think you do (wow that was a convoluted sentence, but I hope the meaning got through). James is your fiancee and he's yours, but he's as Shirerithian as they come, so he's part ours too. Please don't make him give us up for you. We promise we'll keep watch on him and make sure he logs off once in a while

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:50 pm

That would actually have meaning if I were making him quit. But I'm not. He's doing this of his own free will, the one that I supposedly manipulate because he's so easily manipulated. I simply approve of him leaving. I support his actions. I don't like how much time he spends on the computer period. That includes shireroth. However, I would also support him if he decided he wanted to attempt to be a kaiseress again. Or get more involved. I wouldn't like it. I would probably complain and give him dirty looks, because he needs to get a life away from the computer about as much as Bill does, but I would still support him because this is what he wants to do and I love him.

I just don't understand how this is a way of life. It's not, it's not life. You don't actually do anything. You write about living. And pretend to participate, but all you're doing is rotting at a computer instead of rotting outside in the fresh, open air. It's not art. It's not a community. It's the internet. And it's not real. You can pretend it is, but it's not. I can't be swayed on this opinion. I just don't think it's healthy.

Braden Indianensis · Post by **Braden Indianensis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:05 pm

It's not healthy, but neither, ultimately, is life. And I totally agree with you, on a few points, such as: this is not a way of life. That's true. But it's just a little more than a hobby, it's a simulation, and it's art, because we're trying to demonstrate that intelligence and creativity can make the real world a better place, but it's not something to which one should devote his or her life, like painting or writing or sculpting might be. Nevertheless, how can you say it's totally his decision when you admittted a few posts ago that you control most aspects of his life, and he's likely to listen more to you because you..." give him sex whenever he wants and wake up next to him every morning," was it?

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:13 pm

I control all of his actions. He has no will unless it is my own. (I do hope you all can see the sarcasm that I am running with.)

That comment was loaded with sarcasm. I don't control him. I don't have a say even in most things he does. He is a stubborn bastard at times. And that's why I love him. I'm just as stubborn. However, if it were to come down to me "manipulating" him and Bill "manipulating" him, I would win. I control the sex. But, I don't use it against him. It was sarcasm. Bitter sarcasm. You people should respect his decision and not try to sway him to stay. He'll do what he wants. I've learned this much in the time that I've been with him. If you knew him at all, you would understand this as well.

Braden Indianensis · Post by **Braden Indianensis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:25 pm

Madam, if you'll pardon me, I haven't tried to sway him any way (in fact, most of us have only wished him the best and told him we wish he'd stay, but made no arguement), so please don't generalize. To think, this could have been a dignified parting!

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:27 pm

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to generalize. I am just upset that someone, claiming to be his friend, refuses to say god-speed, instead of yelling at him about the stability of shireroth.

osmose1000 · Post by **osmose1000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:33 pm

Wow. I'm sure you're a nice person to talk to under normal circumstances, and we might even get along if we got to know eachother, but right there, you sound like a major bitch. Particularly:

I just don't understand how this is a way of life. It's not, it's not life. You don't actually do anything. You write about living. And pretend to participate, but all you're doing is rotting at a computer instead of rotting outside in the fresh, open air. It's not art. It's not a community. It's the internet. And it's not real. You can pretend it is, but it's not. I can't be swayed on this opinion. I just don't think it's healthy.

On the flip side, I don't understand how socializing with other people is a way of life. Wasting all your time worrying about petty things like who's going out with who, how so and so is still doing, or going outside and just sitting there admiring the scenery. They seem just as alien to me as pretending I'm the Duke of Yardistan seems to you.

Of course, I'm sure (and have experienced) that it's not all as trivial as it sounds. Relationships are a fundamental human aspect. I've definately felt what it's like to want to be with someone, and I've gone outside and played sports (I did nothing but play basketball and hang outside with friends when I lived in a caldusac[CANTSPEEL]).

At the same time, you've got to realize that most of what we do isn't as bad as you make it sound. All of our paticipants, from the obsessive Bill to the drunk-Stjepan, all know that none of what we do is physically real in terms of being an actual Duke. But we enjoy the roleplay anyway. Compare it to writing a book - an author knows that what they're writing is fiction, but they enjoy thinking up lore about this fantasy world anyway. We make graphics, stories, poetry, and make decisions on issues like fuedal structure, national symbols, and scientific research. It's like a debate - neither side of a recreational debate can usually do something about what they're arguing about, but they push for their side anyway for the entertainment of it.

So although you can't be swayed on what YOU think of the subject, maybe you can give the common courtesy of understanding our hobby rather than screaming like we're freaks with third eyeballs and misshappen faces - we look at you as the same.

As for Bill, he's just a little ball of what we all think compacted in an explosive form. Maybe Fax forgot to mention that to you - I'm sure he isn't surprised nor takes any of Bill's comments too offensively, and if he does, he's already forgotten the cardinal rule in micronations - Bill's an ass. :P

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:45 pm

I won't understand it. Period. And yes, most of the time I am a bitch. But for some unknown reason to me, Fax loves me, sometimes for it.

I did not mean to yell at you like you're freaks. The only freak I've seen here is Bill. And he's an anti-social ass who has the world at his fingertips but refuses to open the door. I just got very upset about him yelling at my fiance for doing something that we both feel is a healthy move for him.

P.S. Just so you all know. He didn't even talk to me about this. He was writing at his computer furiously, I asked him who he was talking to that it was involving him to sound so... upset (for lack of better word.) And the next thing I know he sent me the link to this page. So, yeah. For once I wasn't a complete manipulative bitch. I didn't manipulate him into doing this. He did it for himself.

Braden Indianensis · Post by **Braden Indianensis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:46 pm

Well, Bill can be a bit grating sometimes (no offense!), but I'm glad you apologized to us, because you would have been a really dreadful shrew if you hadn't.

Bill3000 · Post by **Bill3000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:59 pm

I did not mean to yell at you like you're freaks. The only freak I've seen here is Bill. And he's an anti-social ass who has the world at his fingertips but refuses to open the door. I just got very upset about him yelling at my fiance for doing something that we both feel is a healthy move for him.

Go fuck yourself. You're on ignore. Can't see why Fax wants to marry a bitch like you.

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:05 pm

I was going to lower myself to your level. But decided against it. Granted, I started it. But you really should look into going outside every once in a while. You may find someone you love yourself, and then you'll understand why Fax loves me and is going to marry me. Love does strange things to a person.

osmose1000 · Post by **osmose1000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:07 pm

Hey, WE GET IT. We're not retarded. For the past three posts all you've done is repeat the same line "I didn't manipulate him!" We understand! Now we're on to the subject: Why you're mean to people who don't really deserve it. Particularly:

[11:51 PM] aingeal raine: it'll be a long wedding party table, but there will always be room for dates
[11:51 PM] Bill7D0: I've never even been to California before
[11:52 PM] aingeal raine: then it's a good reason to come to Cali
[11:52 PM] Bill7D0: And I can't go by myself
[11:52 PM] aingeal raine: why not, aren't you a big boy?
[11:52 PM] Bill7D0: Nope
[11:52 PM] aingeal raine: how old are you? or does mommy have to hold your hand when you go to the bathroom too?
[11:52 PM] Bill7D0: Pretty much, yes.
[11:53 PM] aingeal raine: *sigh* I don't feel like arguing tonight, i'm going to bed
[11:53 PM] aingeal raine: night all
[11:53 PM] ErosLikesChai: Alright. Email me with dates/times - I'll see what I can do.
[11:53 PM] FaxCelestis: oaky
[11:53 PM] ErosLikesChai: Someone mighthave to pick up my tux for me, though... don't know how much leave I'll have.
[11:53 PM] aingeal raine: 21st, probably about 6ish
[11:53 PM] Bill7D0: I wasn't even arguing, I was telling the truth. I already ranted a bit about stuff in my LJ entry.
[11:53 PM] FaxCelestis: He did
[11:54 PM] Bill7D0: Considering the fact that I pretty much do have the social maturity of a 14 year old, I don't appreciate the comments
[11:54 PM] aingeal raine: I don't read your lj, and you can grow up too you know. Find a hobby, other than gaming or shireroth, go outside, go dancing (even if you don't know how to dance), just get out and make your presence known

Wow. I mean, wow. Seriously unprovoked on his part, and even after he explains why it's a touchy subject for him, you continue to push.

Do you even have any respect for other people? Because, frankly, I've lost what little respect I had for yours. At first I wanted to be nice to you because you're the fiancee of a good friend of mine, but you've used the "Get a life" excuse twice.

I'm sorry that we don't fit into your small world view. Well, okay, I'm not really sorry, but I'm finding it hard to call you a whore in Shireroth, since we usually don't encounter the close-minded shittyness that people like you believe in. We're frequented mostly by either people interested in what you call stupid computer stuff or people who are only mildly interested and have the decency to understand that some people don't believe socialite bullshit is really important. I'm not sure, but I'd assume that most of the people here have known Fax longer than you have (I make no claims as to whether this is true or not, but it's definately a possibility). They've seen his ups, his downs, and been his friends for years. He loves you, he's going to marry you, but that doesn't mean you're better than any of us. It's not a contest as to who's known him longer or who knows him better, it's a matter of how ignorant you really are.

You see, true friendships can form on the internet. Your distorted view probably can't accept that, but it's alright. Maybe someday you'll pull that cucumber out of your asshole and stop acting like a stuck up cunt.

Lower yourself to my level, please. I'll forgive it since I did it too.

Braden Indianensis · Post by **Braden Indianensis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:16 pm

Well, I suppose that's settled, then...

stevenAntica · Post by **stevenAntica** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:18 pm

Well, in Antica's case, I can walk down the street and hang out with another citizen and the others are only a 30 minutes drive away, and I make a point of seeing them once in awhile. I mean, Chrimigules and Foghorn, aren't really micronational friends. I met Chris in Latin class and I've known Foghorn since...forever...Gemini DC and Careless, I met through micronations, but I've been to Careless's house, slept over there, and now I would consider ourselves non-virtual friends. Same with Gemini, Gemini has actually helped me get a job over the summer!

For me, micronationalism is a place ot socialize, that's my main priority. I have another lot of friends in the real world, and most likely, I woudl say I socialize with them more, but Micronationalism has provided me with another group of friends, who are equally important to me. And while my friends from school are all bright people, micronationalist friends are all political and help me bring out my dormant nerd. I admit, that even thoguh I've never met Olorix or Maggern or Ruth or Oric in person, I do care about them. For some bizarre reasons, human emotions are able to stretch in that fashion. I talk about a lot more than micrionationalism with these people, and sometimes, I have gotten advice on issues that is better than the advice my friend's give me. When Olorix or Maggern or Ruth is having some trouble in school or something, like a friend from school who I see everyday, I feel sympathy nad hope that it turns out well for them. The other priority, the other need that micronationalism fills is giving me a sense of belonging in a community and a venue for releasing "my dormant nerd" which I can't do at school.

I'm a highschool senior, I don't plan on doing this forever, and to be honest, school, socializing with non-micronational friends, all come before this hobby. Right now, these coexist. If they stop coexisting. I will stop micronationalism. But as Olorix and I always joke, when I'm secretary of State, Olo is prime minister of New Zealand and Maggern is the head of the Norwegian military, we'll band together again and destroy the robot John Howard's brain which rules Australia.

I see Fax's choice, honestly as a wise one. He's fouond that he can't live his life and do this hobby, he is making the choice we all will make.

Also, you seem to take some time to demean this hobby...and I agree, and always have felt that this hobby is less important than humna contact.

However, I'll list with you things I do with friends and you'll see that this isn't all that bad.

Drink
Smoke
Watch movies
Hang around and talk (outside/inside)
Watch bad movies and make fun of them.
Watch bad TV and make fun of them.

Also, I have to say that this activity gets my brain moving quite often. So it's just the same as reading.

Bill3000 · Post by **Bill3000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:24 pm

And for your information, I have Asperger's Syndrome. It is much, much easier for me to talk online than in real life. Real life conversations are horribly uncomfortable for me, and I do see it in any way more fulfilling than onlnie conversations. Nor do I see how online friends are any worse than offline friends. That's just the way I am, and you have no right to demand me to change my ways, especially since I don't even consider you a friend.

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:31 pm

Never once in my life have I denied that I am a bitch. I have always laid claim to this fact. James was warned long before he and I got together. I have, on multiple occasions, tried to get him to come to his senses, because someone so wonderful doesn't deserve to live with the hell that is me. I'm sure most of you have heard of the things that his mother has done/does to him. If you are his friend, and know anything about him, you know how twisted his life was when at home. Somehow, when he's with me, I don't know, I guess he feels safe? more at home than home? loved? relaxed? I can't speak for him as to why he loves me. I don't understand it myself.

You use this specific quote of game, yet you don't know me. None of you realize how sarcastic I am. This is why I hate the internet. You can't grasp the emotions or emphasis on words when a person is talking to you. You don't know when I'm being sarcastic, or when I'm being simply cruel, which only happens when my waiter puts onions in my food.

The point is. I don't know any of you. And I don't care. I never plan to, nor want to meet any of you. Hell, the few shirithians that I've met, that are great friends to James and have known him forever, I could stand to never have met. But he loves them (disclaimer) therefore, I accept this. I don't complain to him about them, just as I don't complain to him about shireroth. I haven't made comments to him about it since he talked to me about leaving when he was Kaiseress.

I don't have a small view of the world. I see what is around me, who is around me, and where I would like to go one day. I can't exactly go to Shireroth can I? I can't step on the soil and breathe in the air. I'm sorry, no wait I'm not sorry, but I enjoy living in the actual world, participating in a world that I can feel and see. Not a pretend nation that doesn't exist. The U.S. is falling apart due to a stupid president that I didn't vote in, but I'm not going to make up a new government so that I don't have to worry about the one I'm currently being ruled by. I'm going to participate however I can in the world that I live in.

osmose1000 · Post by **osmose1000** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:36 pm

You seem perfectly okay with the fact that you have little worth in life, being that your a bitch. You also keep saying, "I've tried to tell Fax to come to his senses."

Do you hate yourself? You should.

Dementi Celestis · Post by **Dementi Celestis** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:43 pm

Wow. There you have it. You've hit the nail on the head. I do hate myself. You're an absolute genius. Thank you so much for that. Perhaps it's all those years of manic depression that made me not realize it. Maybe the scars that have faded on my wrists, or the resistance to rat poison I've created from trying to kill myself and rid this world of such a horrible person were just a way of saying how much I love myself. I know I don't belong in this world. I know I don't belong with someone who brings so much happiness into my otherwise worthless existance. But for some reason, I can't seem to die. I've tried. I guess I have a reason to be on this world. And you just showed me my purpose in life. To hate myself because I'm a worthless bitch. Gee, if you hadn't said that I would have never known.

Shireroth

One of those times.

One of those times.

Re: One of those times.

Shireroth won't die without him

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