Malarbor is coming to town!!!

[Scott Alexander]

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the KeepLay Kaiser and nobles and peasants asleep.In the castle, warm fires held off winter's freezesAnd a sculpture depicted the advent of Cheesus.In the treasury, firelight gleamed on the riches.In the feast hall lay piles of half-eaten dishes.And all the good children were safe in their bedsWhile visions of sugar-mangos danced in their heads.But one little child was not good at allAnd was lurking around in the Audience Hall.He had heard of a rumor from some of the peasantsThat it wasn't his parents who brought Christmas presentsNor his friends, nor in fact any mere mortal beingBut the tree-god Malarbor, and now he was seeingIf late in the hours before dawn grew redMalarbor would come and bring gifts, as they said.He had grown disappointed, and ready to sleepWhen a great crash was heard from the roof of the Keep.It turned to a whir, till with clatter and clamorSomeone broke through the roof with a giant jackhammer(Before I go on, you should proly recallShirekeep, for defense, has no chimneys at all)Excited, the little boy raced up the stairsTo the roof, hoping he could catch Mal unawaresThere he saw, just as it was described by the peasantsA pickup truck, kiwi-drawn, loaded with presents!Then, up through the hole in the roof there aroseA huge tree, with two eyes and a mouth and a nose.Its eyes glowed with rage; its expression was foulIts mouth curled around in a terrible scowl.It got in the truck and got ready to goWhen it saw the young child, his eyes all aglowWith peace and with love and with holiday cheerIt said "I am Malarbor! And you will know FEAR!"Then it took out its bow and it aimed at the childThe arrow hit home, and the evil tree smiled.Then it put back the bow, and it took off the quiverIt had many more presents it had to deliver.It turned to its kiwis and took out its whipThen it buckled its seatbelt to have a safe tripThe next morning, the Kaiser and nobles and peasantsCame down to the hall to uncover the presentsThey tore off the paper and ribbons and bowsExpecting fine chocolates or music or clothesBut they got a surprise, 'cause that horrible treeHad given them presents of live TNT!The ribbons were fuses, the bows detonatorsAnd soon joyful households were big smoking craters!And soaring above in his kiwi-drawn truckThe evil Malarbor enjoyed their bad luck.He flew out of sight, and exclaimed between chortles"Merry Christmas to all of you pitiful mortals!" Edited by: Scott Siskind  at: 12/25/03 12:42 am

[Kaiser Mors III]

I think there needs to be a verse on the other gods laying the Divine Smack down on Malarbora...heheI am HIGHLY amused.. morbid and twisted.. I LOVE IT! Mortis BrookshireKaiser of Shireroth

[Kaiser Mors III]

We wish you a moosy christmaswe wish you a moosy christmaswe wish you a moosy christmasAnd an Explosive New Year! Mortis BrookshireKaiser of Shireroth

[Zirandorthel]

Nollaig Shona Dóibh!Hope you all got what you thought you wanted! Sun Bless, Earth KeepZirandorthel I of TreesiaThe Golden DarknessNiirus TinenetuwarLet the fates burn!

[Gman Russell]

I LOVE IT!!! *rotflmbo*haha, perfect... that's one of my favorites...

[Gryphon Avocatio]

uh oh...greg threw up again...nice work scott... -Gryphon Avocatio- Lord Governor and Duke of all Yardistan - Minister of Research and Education, Shireroth - Shirerothian Elder - SAVE THE KIWI!! - Lover of Llamas Give me your child, and by the age of five, I can make him a priest or a thief or a scholar.

[Gman Russell]

Harty-har-har Nick...

[For Her Light]

Sretan Bozic i Nova Godina iz Hrvatske And so we lay,We lay in the same grave,Our chemical wedding day...

[Gryphon Avocatio]

Feliz navidad, Dashidihr felix, o tanenbaum...wait...ingnore the third one... -Gryphon Avocatio- Lord Governor and Duke of all Yardistan - Minister of Research and Education, Shireroth - Shirerothian Elder - SAVE THE KIWI!! - Lover of Llamas Give me your child, and by the age of five, I can make him a priest or a thief or a scholar.

[Kaiser Mors III]

*smacks Nick*oh.. wait... I did that already today... Mortis BrookshireKaiser of Shireroth

[Gman Russell]

*smacks Nick**gets evil glare*What? Peer pressure.

[Gryphon Avocatio]

*pokes greg* -Gryphon Avocatio- Lord Governor and Duke of all Yardistan - Minister of Research and Education, Shireroth - Shirerothian Elder - SAVE THE KIWI!! - Lover of Llamas Give me your child, and by the age of five, I can make him a priest or a thief or a scholar.

[Eriana Moon]

*Pokes Nick and Greg* Baroness of Lunaris in The Republic of ShirerothBaroness-Councilor of Tallandor-New Barbary in Treesia

[Gryphon Avocatio]

you can keep that up, if you like :P -Gryphon Avocatio- Lord Governor and Duke of all Yardistan - Minister of Research and Education, Shireroth - Shirerothian Elder - SAVE THE KIWI!! - Lover of Llamas Give me your child, and by the age of five, I can make him a priest or a thief or a scholar.

[Gman Russell]

I was poked by Eriana hehehehehehehahahahahaha...lol, that was so demented...

[Gryphon Avocatio]

unfortunately for you, I made my immature comment first...:P -Gryphon Avocatio- Lord Governor and Duke of all Yardistan - Minister of Research and Education, Shireroth - Shirerothian Elder - SAVE THE KIWI!! - Lover of Llamas Give me your child, and by the age of five, I can make him a priest or a thief or a scholar.

[Gman Russell]

Yeah you did...but my immature comment was better

[david northworthy beckfor]

*jealose* "Disclaimer: Whatever is in the above post is probably a result of my blind following of Kieran Bennett, because I have even less of a brain than Kieran. Don't even get me started on my lack of independent thought."

[Kaiseress Alexia Mors III]

*pokes Nick, Greg, and David* The Through-Marriage-Noble-Of- Brookshire

[david northworthy beckfor]

"Disclaimer: Whatever is in the above post is probably a result of my blind following of Kieran Bennett, because I have even less of a brain than Kieran. Don't even get me started on my lack of independent thought."

[Gman Russell]

Woooooh! I was poked... heehee!I love immature comments...

[Kaiseress Alexia Mors III]

Aint immature comments great... The Through-Marriage-Noble-Of- Brookshire