It has come to my attention that our unruly upstart neighbors to the East have been willfully insulting our glorious Imperial Republic. Several Anticans holding high office have been heard making absurd claims.
They say that we are descended from water bears, rather than from the gods themselves via the line of M'Jiliad and Kaiser Raynor I. They say we eat fetus soup, when everyone knows the proper way to cook a fetus is in a fondue or, for a lightweight option, a salad. They say we support the desertification of North France to create space for British holidaygoers, when we support the desertification of North France more on general principle. They say we consider Kaikias the Seventh Duchy of Shireroth, when Kaikias is obviously more of the right size for a County (Antica would make a pretty good Duchy, though). And finally, they plot among themselves the conquest of Kildare, which has been firmly Shirerithian since the first maps of the area over three thousand years ago.
We cannot let these rabble, so hopelessly confused that they let every pig and monkey speak before their Assembly, insult us with impunity. At the same time, it is long past time to recognize a great Shirerithian Duke and military leader and a steadfast ally of the Empire, who has been sighted returning to these parts not so long ago.
Therefore, I humbly beg that you authorize the construction of the Colossus of Lodis on the west coast of Melangia, at the point closest to Antican territory. It will be a hundred meter tall bronze statue of Delphi Augustus raising his middle finger towards the Republic of Antica, a fitting tribute to his statesmanship and, I believe, the way he would want to be remembered.
My engineers have designed a model of what the Colossus would look like when complete:
