East Coast.... West Coast

[Aurangzeb Khan]

If I was planning a visit to the Americas - which should I prefer and also should I opt solely for the US of A or throw in a bit of O'Canada for good measure?

[Nathan of Natopia]

The middle coast of course...

[Jess]

Definantly, thats where i am

[Jacobus Loki]

Take in some Canada. J'aime la Quebec.

BTW, what's a coast? (Wanders off humming "Rocky Mountain High").

[Maksym Hadjimehmetov]

Stay in Blighty, old bean!
Nah, jokes. I've always wanted to go to America.
*seethes with jealousy privately*

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Canada of course. Toronto to Montreal is an 8 hour train ride which costs approximately $159 in first class. Plus, we're just American enough to make it seem exotic and just British enough be able to hold a conversation without people either snickering at your speech or trying to emulate it. Besides, why grace the apostate colonies with your presence when the loyal Dominion continues to keep the faith?

[Jess]

*Conversation between a Canadian and Brit*

Brit: Good Day, Weather is Lovely
Canadian: Ya, it keeps fucking snowing, eh?
Brit: Yes, but the snow is quite lovely
Canadian: Ya, But we have seen it for the last few months eh?
Brit: Where I am from, Picadilly, it never snows quite like it does here
Canadian: Picadilly, eh? Isn't that a pizza place down the road?
Brit: I have never heard of something so absurd
Canadian: Well Im hungry, give me a loony so I can go purchase a piece...

WTF?!

[Jacobus Loki]

Where can you get a piece of pizza for only one looney? I want addresses......


Oh, and I'm prejudiced in favor of the Old City of Quebec, but never having seen Toronto or Montreal, I won't disparage.

If the fates be kind, I'll be in Quebec in the fall.

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Well for Quebec, nothing compares with Quebec City. Montreal claims itself to be an "arts capital" but mostly it's just a bunch of french people getting drunk after a days work at the local bread factory. Toronto fancies itself to be a mini Manhattan. From anyone who's lived in NYC, its more absurd than Jess' joke. Toronto can be summed up chronologically:

1. 1750 to 1800: An outpost conned out of the hands of Natives by unpopular aristocracy from Britain.

2. 1800 to 1850: An isolated fort manned by drunken British-Americans who backed the wrong side and wanted revenge.

3. 1850 to 1870: A once mid-sized great-lakes port city administrated by Orangemen on behalf of Empire loyalist English Bankers.

4. 1870 to 1910: A human depot for any wretch thrown out of the four quarters of the Empire who were too poor to make business in Africa and India and not criminal enough for Australia.

5. 1910 to 1950: A rust belt berg still administrated by Orangemen on behalf of naturalized English bankers (wiki: Rosedale)

6. 1950 to 1970: Orangemen change to "Scot/Ulster Scots" become middle class, Federal government decides to make it a human depot again and doesn't stop. Industry begins to crumble, city takes a dive, but not as hard as some.

7. 1970 to 2000: City booms as real business from Montreal moves to safer waters due to separatists. Successive liberal governments boast multi-culturalism but reject foreign qualifications (including Oxford in some cases). As a result, a city designed for 500 000 becomes surrounded by sprawling suburban ghettos. Suburban wealth then moves even further away from the core to prefab McMansions. Rosedale wealth remains in downtown core, anyone not living there is uninvited.

8. 2000 to Present: Downtown living becomes fashionable again. Roach infested slums which could not be given away are now gutted for condominiums but retain their 1870's brick facades. So downtown is filled with prohibitively expensive restaurants, housing, and complete hipster idiots.

9. The Future! : National wealth is moving west, as are jobs and people. Montreal, free of "Vive La Separatiste" invites banks back. Toronto stops emulating NYC and starts emulating Detroit. .....(Also, there will be flying cars and moving sidewalks).


here's a few images:

[H4773r 3lfs0n]

just so you know, the west coast is home to some of the nations most esteemed, senior and consistent citizens not to mention, its founder. just sayin

[Jacobus Loki]

But Toronto plays New York in the movies......

And the chronology (with the exception of British money) works for many US Cities.

And if heading for the west coast, don't miss Vancouver. I here good things about Victoria....

[Erik Mortis]

Come to the Left Coast.. we got a big as bridge we think is really spiffy. and some cows..

[Jacobus Loki]

Hmmmmmm. cheeese,

[hypatias mom]

The scenery on the Pacific Coast can't be suirpassed. If you come here, travel along the coast from Big Sur (mid-coast of California, and where the Redwoods begin), and travel north up into Canada. When you get to the Bay Area, make a detour to Yosemiite National Park, at least, see Lake Tahoe, and then back to the coast to resume your trip. The largest trees (the giant sequoias are in Yosemite and in Sequoia National Parks0--up to 35 feet in diameter) and the tallest trees (the coast redwoods--15 feet in diameter and over 350 feet tall) will boggle your mind. Don't forget to see our disfunctional San Francisco, for the scenery and for the weirdness. And try our regional cuisine: artichokes, sour dough bread, dungeness crab, boutique cheeses,and many others. Visit some of our hundreds of award-winnng wineries, try local traditions. Enjoy your stay. And if you do come, please let us know. We'd love to meet you.

[Aurangzeb Khan]

I would dearly love to see San Francisco but then I also want to be drunk under the table and robbed in a seedy Toronto bar. I think I'll see if I can cost for both eventualities and include them on a single itinerary...

[Erik Mortis]

I'm sure we can find you a seedy SF bar. We would just need to ask Zary.

[Aurangzeb Khan]

That works...

[Kaiser Hasan I]

If you aim for both, I'd suggest either plane or train. The Greyhound bus system is awful. Good to know you've decided to visit Toronto, we'll start here:


(Exterior)


(Interior)


And end here:



(Exterior)



(Interior)

What could go horribly wrong?

[Tahmaseb]

What could go horribly wrong?

Nothing. Everything.

[Scott of Hyperborea]

If you can come during the same time as the quest to Molossia (see Landsraad front gate), we can treat you to a road trip!

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Eric, Scott and Ardy in a car driving from California to Nevada? Reminds me of something...

[Tahmaseb]

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Chaps, if I can survive a road trip with Foggy which culminated in three days spent in the company of Steven touring a neo-classical capital(capitol?) built on top of a drained swamp then I can pretty much survive anything. *disclaimer*

[Aurangzeb Khan]

And incidentally I think I have (subject to the appropriate bribing of my line management) signed up to visiting San Francisco in August with optional add ons of fun road trip/embarrassing photo op to Molossa & being murdered in Toronto.

[hypatias mom]

Just let us know when and where. I know of at least 10 current and former Shirerithians living in the San Francisco Bay Area. At least we might arrange a time to meet and get acquainted in person.

And it will be your choice--a nice place or a "dive."

[Kaiser Hasan I]

Ardy, you won't be murdered or robbed in Toronto, its a rather nice place to be honest. It's just that when you visit, I'm not going to show you the nice places since they're all horribly boring.

[Orion]

Toronto is bloody great. The city is so clean you can eat off the sidewalks. It's nothing like Manhattan, where you can't move without getting bumped or jabbed or honked at by angry people. Don't get me wrong, NYC is great, I'm going down there again this month. But Canada is much nicer. It's just effing cold....

[Kaiser Hasan I]

O? Rion when did you visit Toronto last?

[Orion]

Several years ago I took a day trip up there on business for my former employer. I'd really like to visit again, maybe tour Niagra and then head northeast to London and then Toronto. My relatives keep asking me to come upstate (New York) and visit them near the finger lakes this summer, so we're thinking about other things to do while we're in the area.

[Kaiser Hasan I]

London is a xenophobic hick town that managed to become a regional centre of commerce. If you've ever got a craving to see morbidly obese people with jogging shorts essentially painted onto their bodies, then go ahead, visit London.

Niagara is nice, except on the American side, Homeland Security border guards are total dicks. It's the only time I've seen a 55 year old woman with spectacles and a .45 Colt Revolver strapped to her dumpy turkey thigh. She was a border clerk. It was horrifying.

Come to Toronto, I know your music preferences and while "The Sanctuary" (a club which boasted an exclusive death metal vampire club complete with caskets and blood drinking parties) is shut down, there are other metal venues that apparently make Toronto the only North American venue for many European bands.