...
Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:30 pm
As I wander through the imperial palace (I have yet not gotten to know how to get around) I find myself entering a large hall with five-metre tall windows on both sides. Beginning clockwise from where I stand, statues of past rulers of the Empire stand. At first there is Raynor, the one who fought Rrakanychan, and lastly Hasan, the one who upon his death gave me the throne...
I continue my walk in the hall. Passing Kaisers and Kaiseresses, I get a sense of belittlement. These men and women created legends! Myths! But, I, what am I in this world? What have I done? During my reign nothing good has happened. I haven´t saved Shireroth from Rrakanychan, nor have I helped in securing peace and prosperity for my people.
Will the next Kaiser, after my death, commission a statue of me as well? What would it look like? Would it carry stone from Mount Yaanek where my Elwynn rests? Would I be pleased with the result? How would others look upon it?
I go up to my room, my own room. I so want to be at home. Shirekeep is too alien. The people here speak foreign, they are strange. The officials, the regalia. It´s all too much. It does my head in. I don´t want to be kaiser. I never wanted to... I just had to fulfill my promise to my mentor, the one who took me from the capes of Farewell to show me the might of an Empire, the greatest of them all.
He took him by my side, showed me what politics is, what struggle for power is, and what power can do to you. I never wanted the power to rule over life and death. But here I am... And I can´t have it this way anymore. Nobody must know of my doubts. I shall leave as a strong kaiser!
But how? Shall I abdicate? No... I can´t. Then that would be a sign of giving up. I must die.
I call upon my truest servant, who served Hasan as well. A young man, maybe of 25 years of age. He adores me. He´d do anything I ask.
"Krim" I say.
"Yes, sir?"
"Hypothetically..." And we begin a sinister conversation.
---
My testament, I write:
MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
Ayreonst Sacred Lady Elwynn, Kaiser of Shireroth, Prince of Hvalafell, Count of Shirekeep, Earl of Nes Farvel, Lord of Cape Farewell, Guardian of the Heart of Elwynn, Supreme Sovereign Master of the Orders of the Imperial Republic, to the Gods of Cedrist Might, to the Lords and Ladies of the Realm, to subjects dear and despised, to all belonging to the Two Worlds, greetings:
Should I die, this is my last will and testament.
1. Funerary arrangements
Within one week after my death by the Shirerithian calendar, a rite for the passage of my soul to the Afterworld shall be held in accordance with the traditions of the Church of Treesian Unorthodoxy, but I plea the officiants of such ceremony to include the goddess I have grown closest to during my life, Elwynn, with prayers to her, and to have her watch over the ceremony. I also ask that all Lestic rituals and symbols be left out, for I have grown a great fear for Lest and his voices that enter my head, pouring evil in my mind... Rituals from the lands of Hurmu, from where my forefathers and -mothers hail, may be included.
2. On the County Nesfarvel
It is my will that all rights to County Nesfarvel and all my assets shall pass to Rai Avon-El.
3. On the succession to the Imperial Throne
Notwithstanding any laws on imperial succession, I name my successor Jacobus of Maraguo to be the true, legal and divine heir to Ayreon, Kaiser of all Shireroth.
Signed by my hand:
Ayreon of Kalir
Witnessed by:
Krim Yngvarson
Posted to the Imperial Throne Room.
---
Krim and I go to the cliffs by the mighty river. We talk a bit. I am crying. He is crying. I want to give him a hug, but that´s out of order. I am a kaiser, I am divine. No one touches me... or so my mentor told me... the kaiser is all.
"Krim, time is here."
"But master, please, reconsider!"
"No, Krim. It is time. Follow this order. Now!"
Krim bows, kisses my hand and lets a tear go.
"May Elwynn go with you. May the Sun bless you, my Lord, and my the EarthYes, may the Earth hold me in its deep embrace. When I´m dead and found."
"Putta i mi nu!" I say, me too with tears in my eyes, in my native tongue. "Putta i mi..."
I want to regret this. I reach up to the night sky, see the stars. I know... "Krim, nei... ai har ångrat mi..." I whisper, but he doesn´t hear.
----
I fall. Into the waters.
---
I take a breath. And water pours into my lungs, burning them. It feels as if they are torn into pieces. And I keep on breathing, and yet more water keeps flowing into my inside, burning, and the pressure on my chest is hurting, making all my attention focus on the pain. I know I am dying.
I pray. Or at least I try to. My eyes hurt. It feels as if they´re exploding. "Elwynn, come, take me..." one prayer goes.
"Gods... bless Krim. Show him love. Know that he was loved."
"Gods... save me. Save Shireroth."
"Elwynn, guide Jacobus..."
And then... Then I see a great light in the midst of the waters. And I know. I am not alone. The pain subsides... I feel all relaxed....
I can feel you embracing me, holding me in your arms. I am safe. Your warm, thundering waters surround me. In your love, I die.
I continue my walk in the hall. Passing Kaisers and Kaiseresses, I get a sense of belittlement. These men and women created legends! Myths! But, I, what am I in this world? What have I done? During my reign nothing good has happened. I haven´t saved Shireroth from Rrakanychan, nor have I helped in securing peace and prosperity for my people.
Will the next Kaiser, after my death, commission a statue of me as well? What would it look like? Would it carry stone from Mount Yaanek where my Elwynn rests? Would I be pleased with the result? How would others look upon it?
I go up to my room, my own room. I so want to be at home. Shirekeep is too alien. The people here speak foreign, they are strange. The officials, the regalia. It´s all too much. It does my head in. I don´t want to be kaiser. I never wanted to... I just had to fulfill my promise to my mentor, the one who took me from the capes of Farewell to show me the might of an Empire, the greatest of them all.
He took him by my side, showed me what politics is, what struggle for power is, and what power can do to you. I never wanted the power to rule over life and death. But here I am... And I can´t have it this way anymore. Nobody must know of my doubts. I shall leave as a strong kaiser!
But how? Shall I abdicate? No... I can´t. Then that would be a sign of giving up. I must die.
I call upon my truest servant, who served Hasan as well. A young man, maybe of 25 years of age. He adores me. He´d do anything I ask.
"Krim" I say.
"Yes, sir?"
"Hypothetically..." And we begin a sinister conversation.
---
My testament, I write:
MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
Ayreonst Sacred Lady Elwynn, Kaiser of Shireroth, Prince of Hvalafell, Count of Shirekeep, Earl of Nes Farvel, Lord of Cape Farewell, Guardian of the Heart of Elwynn, Supreme Sovereign Master of the Orders of the Imperial Republic, to the Gods of Cedrist Might, to the Lords and Ladies of the Realm, to subjects dear and despised, to all belonging to the Two Worlds, greetings:
Should I die, this is my last will and testament.
1. Funerary arrangements
Within one week after my death by the Shirerithian calendar, a rite for the passage of my soul to the Afterworld shall be held in accordance with the traditions of the Church of Treesian Unorthodoxy, but I plea the officiants of such ceremony to include the goddess I have grown closest to during my life, Elwynn, with prayers to her, and to have her watch over the ceremony. I also ask that all Lestic rituals and symbols be left out, for I have grown a great fear for Lest and his voices that enter my head, pouring evil in my mind... Rituals from the lands of Hurmu, from where my forefathers and -mothers hail, may be included.
2. On the County Nesfarvel
It is my will that all rights to County Nesfarvel and all my assets shall pass to Rai Avon-El.
3. On the succession to the Imperial Throne
Notwithstanding any laws on imperial succession, I name my successor Jacobus of Maraguo to be the true, legal and divine heir to Ayreon, Kaiser of all Shireroth.
Signed by my hand:
Ayreon of Kalir
Witnessed by:
Krim Yngvarson
Posted to the Imperial Throne Room.
---
Krim and I go to the cliffs by the mighty river. We talk a bit. I am crying. He is crying. I want to give him a hug, but that´s out of order. I am a kaiser, I am divine. No one touches me... or so my mentor told me... the kaiser is all.
"Krim, time is here."
"But master, please, reconsider!"
"No, Krim. It is time. Follow this order. Now!"
Krim bows, kisses my hand and lets a tear go.
"May Elwynn go with you. May the Sun bless you, my Lord, and my the EarthYes, may the Earth hold me in its deep embrace. When I´m dead and found."
"Putta i mi nu!" I say, me too with tears in my eyes, in my native tongue. "Putta i mi..."
I want to regret this. I reach up to the night sky, see the stars. I know... "Krim, nei... ai har ångrat mi..." I whisper, but he doesn´t hear.
----
I fall. Into the waters.
---
I take a breath. And water pours into my lungs, burning them. It feels as if they are torn into pieces. And I keep on breathing, and yet more water keeps flowing into my inside, burning, and the pressure on my chest is hurting, making all my attention focus on the pain. I know I am dying.
I pray. Or at least I try to. My eyes hurt. It feels as if they´re exploding. "Elwynn, come, take me..." one prayer goes.
"Gods... bless Krim. Show him love. Know that he was loved."
"Gods... save me. Save Shireroth."
"Elwynn, guide Jacobus..."
And then... Then I see a great light in the midst of the waters. And I know. I am not alone. The pain subsides... I feel all relaxed....
I can feel you embracing me, holding me in your arms. I am safe. Your warm, thundering waters surround me. In your love, I die.
)
