Shireroth

"Of course, you see, aside from one small to-do on the bridge over the river when it very nearly transpired that myself, my associate Brother Carnehan, our porter Billy Fish, the accursed mules and the blessed relics, we being cedarist pilgrims see, were very nearly shunted into the abyss by some earth shattering monster moving out of what subsequently transpired to to be St Zor station, I can say that in all honesty we made it out of Shirekeep and across into Holwinn without any sort of what you might call an 'incident'.

"Of course we did think to enquire in the docklands to see if there were any boats heading down river to Lunaris but when we enquired of the situation to the harbour-master we were informed that the entire length of the river between Islus and Tyrelwynn was closed to commercial traffic whilst dredging works were ongoing. Apparently a few centuries ago the dams above the city of Shirekeep were breached during the course of some civil strife or some other sort of warring that is the fashion in these parts, as I am sure you are aware being a local and what not. And as I was saying, even now they are still fishing out bits of the city from the river, so I am given to understand that it was quite a deluge. So we were asked if we were prepared to wait a year for the dredging to be completed but alas time is pressing so it was agreed by Brother Carnehan and myself that it would be best to press on for Lunaris overland."

"So that's what we did you see, now of course two mules, two gentlemen of modest means, one porter with flippers, and a very precious cargo, all proceeding their way along a very bumpy road makes for quite a tiring journey. So we espies this pleasant glade, the night drawing in, and I says to my associate Brother Carnehan 'Brother might not that tree yonder be a good place to set down for the night?', and he says 'Why Brother Dravot you've done it again - you've led us to the ideal spot for a spot of tiffin and a good kip.'

"So that's what we did. Of course I do apologise squire, I was not fully cognisant of the fact of this land, and a very fine pasture it is too if I might say so Sir, was in fact your property. That being the case I have no intention of troubling you any longer that is necessary and myself and my associates, bidding you good day, will be on our way."

"What's that Sir? Not acceptable you say? Well I suppose you are quite right we probably do owe you something for the use of the shelter of the wide encompassing branches of your tree. Perhaps a pecuniary sum in compensation? No? Oh. Well that is a shame. In that case the only thing I have left to offer you is this..."

"Go on Peachy! Slot the Bastard!"

"No Billy get down! Peachy shoot the bugger - he's making a run for it."

BOOOM!

This man is dead!

Ah well... sooner the gods will receive his spirit I suppose.

I'll get on disposing of his body. I think I saw a nice well a few miles back.

Alright, but I want his wallet.

Billy pass me that wallet. Let's see what's in here... hmm... OK, if I'll just take a couple of Erb to tide us over, we'll leave the rest out of consideration. It's what he would of wanted.

Oh and Billy, once you've interred the body in that well be sure to pass this wallet to that important looking gentleman standing upon that hill - he looks the sort who would appreciate it.

Right, he's 6 feet-and-a-bit under now, gods grant him peace. Looks like he's unlikely to get it though.



And here is your wallet Mr Important-Looking Gentleman. I hope his unfortunate and entirely accidental death was not in vain and that the money will reach those who need it most.

*slips the money into a small leather pouch*

The needy in question would be myself and my secretarial staff. Can't fund a 10-hour piss up with thin air now can we?

Belay that, Cossack!

Danny, this man is the likes of those what we saw showing the brass to the locals across the Oxus! No less than ten of them, standing barbarous with their woolly whiskers and Byzantine-Oriental dress. Oil-skin clad dervishes, long-sleeved Eastern Popish sorts and brawny Asiatics like those that my own father spoke of when defending the Turk!

This one obeys the Tzar of all the Russias Danny! Ana spy to his king no doubt. Best we apprehend him with a bit of lead fortitude that he shan't take his knowledge back to the Steppe?

Billy, suck wind to that peak! Narrow your Martini on him, but don't shoot. yet. Just be ready in case of foul play.

Ho there, lads, but I'm afraid my big flying machine and its absurd amount of firepower are gonna have to get in your way about now. See, I've been watchin' ya venture about and all, and I thought it a grand little excursion. And I know, you wanted to avoid cyborgs. But we cyborgs tend to cause trouble.

I kinda like that there Russki - he gives me good stuff to read, and I myself am also Russian - and I'm going to need you to avoid shooting him, or even pointing your cute little antique rifle at him. Speaking of, how many erb would it take to buy one of those? I could use one for my Antiquated Firearms display at the Almighty Palace.

My apologies Boris but I suggest you let those gentlemen pass.

Now now, threatening civil war over the fusillatory antics of these lost Boy Scouts? Surely we're above that sort of thing... and would do well to set a good example for our visitors. Let them have their fun and move on. no doubt somewhere far, far away their dearest ladyfolk have dinners waiting in the oven for them. Far be it for me to stand between a man and his roast beef. Gods Forbid!

Sirs, I have drawn a bead on him. However I have been holding this rifle for almost 11 hours now. Is now yet the time to shoot?

Just sit tight Billy and await the word of command!

Daniel! The Cossack Daniel!

For Gawd's sake Peachy! We've not travelled all this way just to trade shots with Cossacks and angry tin men. If the Czar wants this land he is bloody well welcome to it once we've got what we've come for. As per the contract Peachy!

Now let's press on before the infernal gun-totting automation comes back.

He just nicked 5 from that dead man! Insufferable Danny, this is not on!

Bloody uncivilized barbarian that he is, our Contrac must come first. Best be off then, before some other interference occurs.

Sirs, I must insist that we be off, by jove. The residents of this County are getting rather agitated by our presence. I think we may have offended Gaelen, God of Technology, Sephiroth, God of Warriors and Soldiers, and Finanzia, Goddess of Finance, through our actions. We must leave this place!

Billy Phish! Belay that dawdling and form the mules into a column. The road to the land of Ran stretches out before us. At it's heart lies the town of Tyrelwynn, set down snug beside the river. It will be as good a place as any to set ourselves down and take stock of the journey so far.