Shireroth

Much as I would like to stay above such things, it seems like money is what makes the world go around (plus I have some bounties to claim), so I would like to retrieve my bank account.

I have no idea what name it might be under, it could be any of the following:
Eoin Dornan
Wil Nider
Funky Wombat
Zirandorthel

Or would it just be more expedient to open a new account?

None of those are registered.

Your account may have been deleted long ago. I checked all the disabled accounts, you aren't in there.

You were however registered as "Wil Nider". I would advice recreating that account, then you'll get back all your old logs. and we can see where your money went.