Shireroth

The waves are fighting the cliffs. They go in, and out... Before me I see the sea breathing, a mantra ever repeating.
You should know that I often go here when I think of you. Sometimes I can feel such a want for you, a yearning of some sort. When this happens, I take the car (it only takes a few minutes - I´ve moved since you-know-when), stand by these cliffs a few minutes and gaze out over the sea. Most usually it is cloudy, sometimes snowing, and you can´t see the horizon. No, the sky is grey and the sea, too. But I like it; it has an endless feel to it.

By these cliffs you and I used to go abseiling that summer. Remember? It was so exciting, but our mums hated it. Mine told me that I´d break my neck, but I told her that she wouldn´t worry - we had ropes and stuff and were safely fastened, so it had been all right. I was never afraid! And neither were you. Oh no. You were the one who made me do it!
The summer of that year I will always remember. We surfed the waves (but never that I´ll do that again, whoa, the cold!), we lay on tops of cliffs philosophizing... Spontaneous hugs came along, sometimes a kiss. I loved every single moment.

Rai -- aye...

I remember.
We were young.
We were free.

Those days are past now
And in the past
They must remain

I have forgiven you.
Have you forgiven me?

You went to Shirekeep.
And I, to my tribe...

I dream of you. Often... aye, so often. They´re not the kind of dreams you have at night, but rather they´re more like day-dreams. Sometimes I suddenly realize that I´ve stopped doing everything I was doing to have my consciousness fully focus on you. You´re with me, in thought and in feeling. Each time this happens, my mind is calmed for a moment before it is confronted with that idea that has been pierced into my head: that you meant more to me than I to you.

But if I rethink and choose not to succumb to that thought I know something else. Because... I remember so many things, what we used to do, how gentle and kind you were to me. Just like the first time we slept together.

It was after a war of pillows in your room. Down was all over the floor. After all thae so exhausted! I put myself on a mattress on the other side of the room from you, while you slept in your bed. You´d insisted that I´d take the bed, but I wanted you to have a proper sleep.

But none of us went to sleep. No, we were chatting away half the night.

After some time, the words between us got sparser. The train of tiredness rolled slowly in. Just as my eyes, by their own will, shut and I turned around, you whispered from across the room those words that made me so happy. "You can sleep here... with me... if you like" And you smiled.

With a sleeping bag around me, and - believe it or not - a whole pillow pressed to my chest, I half-jumped, half-crawled over the down-covered floor to you. I jumped out of the sleeping bag and curled up by your side. Having been cold all night, I found that you had enough warmth in you to warm me up as well!

"Hi" said I and smiled.

"Hi" you answered back and smiled even more. How I loved that smile of yours.

But what now, Rai?

Fine.