Shireroth

Let me guess... you were sampling Brandy for 'medicinal purposes' when a being of light and perfect beauty appeared in front of you and led you into the forests where you discovered, after being instructed by a voice in your head to dig, a series of Gold tablets revealing the true text of the gospels before they were distorted by mortal hands...

Mormons?

Precisely, Ardashir!

Even though I did stumble around quite a bit and nearly cut my foot off with the shovel, I found them damn tablets.

Yeah, right.