Shireroth

Well, just as you have issues witth yourself over how you hate yourself, Bill has issues with the fact that all he really wants to do is stay in his room forever. Just as it makes you hate yourself that you're a self-admitted bitch, it makes Bill hate a lot of things (I dunno if he hates himself as much as the world) that he can't talk to others properly and isn't interested in anything but his select few hobbies.

Additionally, as someone who has suffered from mental illness, you should understand better than anyone what Bill goes through...alas, you don't. It's understandable how you immediately went for the jugular with Bill and then you continued pushing, abnormally so, in order to hurt his feelings even further. The fact is, you understand no one in this thread better than Bill, because the same abnormal behavior you see in him, you see in yourself. I mean, it's pretty obvious. You attacked Bill personally, btu then you attacked him again, repeatedly. You saw in Bill yourself and you decided that you must attack Bill because you are attacking yourself. It all fits quite well together.

You seem to be apt at calling us misfits because you see that we are all slightly to the far end of the spectrum in what is considered "Normal" behavior, like yourself. Sure, we are strattling the fine line between reality and unreality, and I'll concede that we are freaks in some sense, but so are you. I'd get off on a Thomas Szasz tangent, but it's not worth it.

Since you are so keen on holding US accountable for OUR mental deficiencies, I'll reciprocate:

Personally, I find depression despicable, especially suicide. What do you have to be depressed about? Seriously, what? (or what did you?) you live in one of the wealthiest countries on Earth, and in one of the wealthiest Parts, California. Yet, even as you look at the starving peoples of the world, you can't help but greedily think of your own pain, your own suffering. You have nothing to complain about. "BOO HOO! MY FATHER WON'T BUY ME A CAR!" Grow up! The grotesque micronationalist that I am, I still appreciate life, every day of it. I appreciate how lucky I am to be in a good family, and in a good country. Of course there are things that upset me, but unlike your greedy self, I learn to get over them. It ASTOUNDS me, when I meet people who have survived horrific events such as the Holocaust or the Great Leap Forward but remain happy, unlike you. I'll give you examples:

My barber watched as his house was burnt down by the Serbian army and as his family was murdered without reason. He remains positive, he is a pleasant man to be around. have you suffered anything near that? I don't think so. But you are still depressed. You don't understand how lucky you have it. I've spoken with Holocaust survivors, as haunted as they are, and as my barber is, they dont' try to kill themselves, you however, did. You pitiful, unappreciative person.

Bill is anti-social, but he has more of an appreciation for the world than you'll ever have.

Of course, I have an understanding of how powerful emotions and the chemcials in the brain are, unlike you. Which is why, to an extent, I don't blelieve what I just wrote. But if you believe that Bill is a problem, than you have to understand and acknowledge that what I just said is true about yourself.[/i]

First off, I didn't know he had a problem until he just said so. Either way, I wouldn't have cared, because I feel that in order to survive you must push through your problems.

My suicidal tendancies were caused by a chemical imbalance. Besides, you don't know shit about me or how my life is or was. I may live in California, but that doesn't mean that I and my family didn't know what it was like to suffer. Ever live out on the streets? No? Then shut the fuck up. I have fought for years to control my imbalance. And typically I do a bang up job. I am, however, extremely sarcastic. In the quoted game I was being sarcastic. I am almost always sarcastic. It's my defense mechanism. Growing up, if you weren't sarcastic and had a retort then you were fed to the dogs.

I personally don't approve of suicide either. It's the loser's way out. It's showing the world that you can't do it. I haven't tried in years. However, it is in my past, and the thoughts still haunt me every day. When I drive to work and my head yells at me that I deserve to die and to smash my car into the truck next to me, I choose to ignore it. Everyone has a choice in how they live their lives. You can be anti-social and hide in your room because you have a disorder, or you can go out there and keep trying. It will be hard. But life is hard. I know this. But it's life, and you have to live it.

I choose to fight my way through life, dealing with my misfunction, and still be out there in the world. Instead of hidng behind my computer.

Wait wait wait wait wait. I go into work and it turns into a shouting match? What the hell. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Val had nothing to do with this. In fact the only reason she knew is because I sent her the bloody link.

But you all should take something into consideration: in the way that she's right, so are you. You're right, true friendships can form on the internet. Likewise, it is a good thing to see the sun once in a while.

This was not a "Val-told-me-to-do-it-that-bitch". This was not "I-hate-you-all". This was, "I'm rearranging the priorities in my life and found that Shireroth was ranked far too high a priority against the other parts of my life."

And through no fault of Val's. Admittedly, she had asked me in the past to give up micronations, and I told her I wouldn't. She let it slide. I came to this conclusion myself, and without her input. I didn't need her input to decide what's important in my life--after all, it is, ultimately, my life. As such, I make decisions with it once in a while that are unnecessarily dictatorial, fascist, and would probably cause the United States to put an embargo against my soul if they found out.

And the main thing about totalitarian regimes? They're not a democratic process. There is no National Congress to Determine the Course of James' Life. There is no High Parliament of Prioritization in my body or my brain. I make my own decisions, and I decided that my life is moving in a different direction from Shireroth.

Let's be blunt about this: Val's being mean. Bill's being manipulative. Scott's being...well, Scott. Moose is trying not to take sides but is failing. And everyone else is sending me off. To be honest, I rather like the group of people telling me "fare thee well" rather more than I like the few who decided to turn this into MWWIII. That was unnecessary and entirely uncalled for. Show some maturity, eh? It's not that hard. All it requires is to see from someone else's perspective.

And think about this: I've got to feed myself and Val at this point while trying to move out and prepare for a wedding. How do I do that? By working. So I'm considering getting a second job that'll let me work from home on my own hours to get in some cash. The viability of that aside, it also leaves very little time for just about everything. That requires me to make some cuts.

And Shireroth was one of them.

Unfortunate, but necessary.

And without further ado,

Fare Thee Well.