A topic far to serious for Straylight (disclaimer: emo)

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

I don't know if anyone here can relate, but I'm sure there must be someone, considering how long many of you have been in micronationalism. I feel like leaving micronationalism altogether is the best thing for me right now. I'm suddenly feeling very angry and frustrated, both here in Shireroth and in Gralus and it's respective states, and I worry about my mental stability and that it may be hurting others.

I regret most everything I've ever done in micronationalism. Toketi has (thanks to my [sarcasm]brilliant idea of a Toketi/Novatainia merger[/sarcasm]) taken a turn for the worse. I'm more an outsider there than I could have ever imagined myself being, even though I founded the nation. Nothing I say is worth anything except to the few people who happen to support me, which means nothing if the majority doesn't agree (since power is derived from the populace, especially in micronationalism).

I'm ruddy worthless here. Anyone can do MiniEx without too much effort. I'm oft ignored. I speak what comes to my mind uncensored and it bites me in the ass constantly. I don't hardly ever agree with anyone. I don't feel like I'm contributing anything at all here. I mean, yeah, I have Ari's vote in the Landsraad, but it's never made any difference and the previous reasoning has made my opinion worth naught anyway.

I've come to the conclusion that if I left micronationalism, nothing would change. Toketi would continue on without my guidance. Shireroth would simply need to replace my position as MiniEx. Perhaps there would be marginally less controversy with my constant arguing with Andreas absent, but that would hurt no one.

I really don't want to leave, but I feel it in the best interests of the micronational community. Last thing we (read: you all) need is another Jeremy Bellamy to deal with...

[hypatias mom]

Corey--I find this a very sad post. I think all of us at one time or another look at ourselves in the mirror and ask, "Am I really making a difference? and will they even miss me when I am gone? Has anything I have done or said really led a nation in a positive way?" Unfortunately, this is part of the human condition: a yearning to be special in our favorite endeavors. to someone. somewhere. To have our lives and our personhood seen as distinctive and rare.

You have the opinion that you are not making an important contribution here. I beg to differ with you. You have brought to Shireroth a spark of life that it has been missing, an eagerness, a new approach to problems and proposals. You have made a difference just by taking part in the life of this nation. You have not been here long, but I doubt anyone here doesn't know you and enjoy reading your posts. Please take a deep breath, reflect and, if necessary, take a day just to rest with yourself and your friends. I hope you will decide we will lose more by your leaving than you can imagine, and you will find yourself on the outside looking in.

Many people leave micronationalism, feeling that their contribution is unimportant; that they won't be missed. That is not true at all. The yearning to matter is strong in all of us. As I write this, I have tears in my eyes, for you, and for all the hurting young people who feel they are also alone and unappreciatred. But that is one thing that brings a nation of people like us to micronations--a need to belong and make a difference. And you have and are. I won't tell you that things are always rosy in micronations, or even here in Shireroth. Like a large family, we have our differences, our squabbles, and our problems, but at the end, and through all this "stuff," there is a deep and abiding affection between most of the people here. By speaking up, I believe you will find a lot of people who feel as you do, and who could use another person to notice them as well. You have been heard; you have been acknowledged; you have great worth. Please don't forget it.

[Icebreaker]

DON'T WORRY, ARI HAS WAAYYYY MORE EMO THAN YOU COULD EVER BRING TO THE TABLE.

ALSO, YOU CAN'T LEAVE FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT YOU'RE ONE OF THE FIRST SHIRITHIANS TO LEARN HOW TO AWESOME. I REQUIRE BACKUP IF I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO LOL UP THE PLACE.

[Malliki]

We would all loose if you left. You might not feel that your posts contribute much, or that anyone listens to what you say, but that isn't true. Shireroth is the sum of its citizens, and you are one of us. You contribute your part, just as the rest of us contribute our parts, and without you Shireroth wouldn't be the same. We might disagree, we might even argue, but when it comes down to the very core of it, we are all Shirerithians. I don't know you personally, but I do consider you a friend simply because you are a part of something I love. If you left, it would not be the same, and I would love it less.

[(This Browser is Baaad!) MP/GvF/JH/KMI]

No, you can't leave, I just wont accept it.

[Ari Rahikkala]

Hey, at least you don't have the power to close down the forum or anything when you get mad

Anyway, if you feel you're not having fun, and that you aren't making a difference, and that it would be best for you to leave... then leave. We're not paying you to stay here. We'd miss you, we'd always be ready to welcome you if you returned, but we wouldn't make you stay even if we could.

Seriously. Consider it. There's always fun to be had elsewhere. There will be people who listen to you, if you look in the right place. Every time you come here, you make the decision yourself. You could just stop emigrate, stop checking the forum, and even if you don't do it, it'll make you feel better if you remind yourself you can.









OK, now that you've considered it, and are still reading, I guess you've rejected the idea. Well, just so that you know, you're one of the nicest people and in general best micronationalists here, and if you think you're hurting others you're wrong . Your "constant arguing" with Andreas disappears in the underflow in a place like Shireroth with people like Erik, Hasan, Jake and Yvain around. And disagreeing with people... uh... yeah. People disagree with other people. That's kinda a natural thing, you know .

Tell me when you're feeling less emo and we'll renew the contract for, say, another month. Oh, and remember, we've had many kaisers who have tried to make our exterior relations more proactive and largely failed - as a bored MiniEx who wants to make a difference, isn't it time for you to start doing something about that?

[Bayen]

Hey, at least you don't have the power to close down the forum or anything when you get mad

Well, he is admin of both Gralan and Tokian forums... (But he's been good and hasn't done anything bad so far. )

[Prodigy Almighty]

ANOTHER JEREMY?! There never can and never will be another Jeremy again. No one can compare.

Please, sir. You would be missed on Toketi and Gralus. Andreas would miss the occasional spat (admit it), and besides, who else will make people laugh? Me? Psh. I'm not funny. In any case, you're the only person with a full, or even partial, understanding of Tokish (despite the lessons you've posted), and dammit, that's out language! Do you know what kind of a cultural loss that would be? We wouldn't be able to name ANYTHING!

In any case, you ARE still Admin in Toketi AND Gralus...

As Ari brought up, you may think you're a useless MiniEx. Honestly, you've probably done more than some previous MiniExes. If you haven't, well, the position is still yours, and you can do it.

No one would miss you? That's not true at all.

Shireroth would miss its MiniEx.
Bayen would miss your guidance and advice.
Andreas would miss your fights.
Icebreaker would miss your attempts to be Finnish.
Ari would miss having someone to vote in the Landsraad forum so he didn't have to deal with all the BS.
Even Tsunade would miss your failed attempts to woo her.
Toketi and Gralus would miss their admin.
I would miss you. Just because you're the only fucking micronationalist who would become a god of things that vibrate!

Stay.
Hell, Toketi would miss a third of its posts.

[Krasniy Yastreb]

I suffered a similar crisis of confidence when Novaya Zemlya spluttered out of existence. I disappeared but returned two years later. Sooner or later the long arm of micronational addiction will reach out and grab you again, so why leave in the first place?

[Andreas the Wise]

If you're feeling angry and frustrated, then do consider leaving ... that which makes you angry or frustrated. I can totally relate with that. Normally its when I'm in an international war against Jeremy, though occasionally when you seem to be objecting to everything I do. And it really helped my mental state to just ignore the war for a couple days.

The way I see it, you play a crucial role in Gralus - opposing me when necessary. Pointless arguments are only good for activity (which, admittedly, we need at the moment). But at the same time, we certainly do need a Gralan with the guts to say "No Andreas, that'll be bad for the nation" and back it up with rational arguments. If you see your role as "say everything Andreas thinks is bad", then yes, I don´t mind you stopping that. If you see your role as opposing Andreas when he´s doing something really wrong, then Gralus desparately needs you to stay.

As for Shireroth - MiniEx, done well, is actually a rather hard job, in my (experienced) opinion. You´re actually bothering to visit nations before signing their treaties etc. That´s more than most. It also needs someone active internationally - who can go onto MCS and not appear a noob. Again, you fulfil that. I think Shireroth would miss you.

And finally, if it hasn´t been obvious over the years - I would much rather you as a friend than an enemy. A friend who can tell me when I´m going really wrong, yes, but not an enemy who finds fault with everything I do. There´s a reason Gralus doesn´t have a PM/Opposition style government . When we´ve worked together happily, especially at the start of our nations, we´ve achieved amazing things. It´s the last few months ... since the start of the year ... where it seems to keep becoming "rely on Liam to say anything Andreas does is wrong" that I don´t like. Look at me and Bayen - the longer we go, the more we oppose eachother ... and more in more in ways I don´t expect. But we don´t have spats on the forum - we talk it out, and really amazing things (like SCM, for example) happen. I know I can rely on Bayen to tell me if something´s really stupid or wrong - but better still, to explain in detail why its wrong, and talk it through with me until I either see his point or he sees mine. And I really treasure that. We used to do that ... I´d like it if we could do that again.

And Hypatias Mom is right - we ain't got nothing on Loki/Hesam ...

[Scott of Hyperborea]

I like you. I don't know why, but I do. I'd be sad if you left. And I've barely even noticed you having arguments with Andreas, what with people doing everything but declare blood vendetta over whether or not Landsraad bills should be "passed" or "approved".

The MiniEx job is a drag, I admit. Why don't you find some big project and work on it? Revive the DiploCorps! (but I say that to everyone).

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

Tell me when you're feeling less emo and we'll renew the contract for, say, another month.

I apologize, m'lord Duke, but I do not feel like I am mentally or emotionally stable enough to continue voting in your place.

I've decided that I will stay, but limit my activity to only what I need to comment on. I need some time to better control myself...

[Icebreaker]

I apologize, m'lord Duke, but I do not feel like I am mentally or emotionally stable enough to continue voting in your place.

HE'S NOT REALLY MENTALLY OR EMOTIONALLY STABLE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW EITHER.

OBVIOUSLY I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO IT.

[Hesam Jayatar]

Hey I left for years. Despite what people say, some return some don't. Usually, people just need a break. That break can be a few hours, up to years. Things to remember:

1. It's just a hobby.
2. If someone knocks over your sandcastle, stop building sandcastles and start building stonecastles, it'll teach them a lesson when they try to kick it.
3. Micronations is largely about arguing. If you're tired of arguing, become one of the observers. They get a cool aura of quiet confidence.
4. Switch-up your focus. If you're tired of one element, try something else. I was tired of being Kaiser so I wrote a really weird obscure story that no one really understands. It's more awesome than a flying car.
5. If someone keeps picking on you, hire someone else to fight that battle for you, because really, you've got more important things to do.
6. Make an impact. Sometimes the best thing to do is stay off the radar for a while and emerge with a fantastic idea that is more wicked than a flying car.
7. Brag about how you own a flying car.
8. Again, it's just a hobby

Personally, my element in this hobby is looking at it as a chess game. That's what I like. If it weren't for people like Jacobus and Ardashir, I would have left long ago. That's generally the level we play at. And frankly, it's fun because of it. Why? Because I know one or the other is scheming away right now in preparation for the next stand off.

Other people like the creative element. Which is difficult because you can work on an idea for weeks and then have it summarily rejected. Don't worry about it, sometimes people will just object because they didn't think of it.

And if you're sick of dealing with someone, remember it's not a big deal. I've known Scott through this hobby on and off for the better part of a decade and we still don't usually get along. We disagree over just about everything. But one of the best things is, when you achieve something really good. When it's so good even your opponent gives you credit. The trick is to hold out for those times when you're down.

You just have to find a few things you like about the hobby and concentrate on those. If you can't find something you like about it any more, invent something new. Figure out what you want out of this and do it. You've got a lot of friends who are more than willing to help.

I used to get depressed quite often, and a lot of people in this hobby do. I don't know why, maybe its a part of the personality which is drawn to this place. But one of the things that really helped me was a quote I heard once.

"Remember, This Like All Things Will Pass In Time"

it helped me, maybe you can make some use of it.

[Ari Rahikkala]

HE'S NOT REALLY MENTALLY OR EMOTIONALLY STABLE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW EITHER.

OBVIOUSLY I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO IT.

Some other year.

[Ari Rahikkala]

No, you can't leave, I just wont accept it.

Apparently this post was a mystery to the EBR hosts, so just to clarify: It's Jess.

[Aurangzeb Khan]

That you have had these thoughts to me indicates that you are at least self-aware enough to analyise this and, in the end, I hope that you will realise that, as Hesam said, this is just a game - a game where we make our own rules. We are in this hobby, sharing invented memes like crazy people because we are giving vent to our imagination. So junk MinEx if you find it tedious, heaven knows I've done foreign policy for Babkha long enough to know the pant-wetting boredom involved in drafting treaties, but whatever you do, don't give up & don't stop being creative - even if the extent of your creativity is to bait Andreas in an amusing fashion because everything satisfying about this hobby ultimately derives from interaction, and if you drop out all your friends and associates here will be the poorer for your absence, regardless of what you may think.

[Oroigawa Koreyasu]

No, you can't leave, I just wont accept it.

Apparently this post was a mystery to the EBR hosts, so just to clarify: It's Jess.

Hence MP (Monsignor Penisberg) and JH (Jess Heimer) and GvF (Goobersnooken von Frysk or whatever). KMI I don't know, though...

And just to clarify, I plan to stay and retain all my current titles.

[hypatias mom]

I'm glad for your decision. We all have times like this. That's when we stop for awhile, take a deep breath, and ask ourselves, will my life be richer or poorer if I make such a decision? Will I still have interaction with all these people, some of whom may not get along with me? Am I enjoying (on the whole) the interactions? and am I making a difference, no matter how slight, here? I think you have realized that these questions will lead to staying here and involved with people who do care about their fellow citizens. We would all be poorer for the loss of your company here in Shireroth.

[Kaiser Ayreon]

YAY! You're staying. I haven't known you for long, but we've talked now and then. I've always enjoyed talking with you. And you're a nice person