At the desk, plumped down on a rather fine high-backed green leather chair, sat a corpulent and bearded gentleman who carried himself, as much as was possible, with a look of magisterial serenity - a look though that was tinged with a hint of tiredness and fatigue. This gentlemen, who wore a habit that was black and lined with interwoven gold and silver trimming around its cuffs, neck and hood, was evidently a priest of some kind, gh not, it would seem, one of the sort to whom the thought of taking a vow of poverty had ever occurred. Standing before him, on the other side of the desk, a respectful distance back in the middle of the room was another gentleman, this one being of an olive complexion, jet black hair, clean shaven, quite tall and dressed in a field-grey ensemble of tunic and breeches rounded off top and bottom by a brown leather jacket and black jackboots that shone to a degree that was almost indecent. He might almost have passed for an officer in the Elwynnbrigaden , except that the absence of any insignia and badge of rank precluded that. Instead it was the tricolour arm-band immediately above his right elbow that gave the mark of him; here was a member of the revitalised County Service, the quite ridiculously over-militarised `Celestial Bureaucracy´ as it had in all-seriousness, and without so much as a hint of irony, named itself.
"My Lord Abbot, I am Abu Aziz Motahmed, son of Lord Motahmed, by blood an Ardashirian of the First Migration, Biddle to the Bashaw of the Bailiwick of Islus, lately attached to the Court of the Khan and I have the honour to be bearer this missive from him unto you. My Lord commands that I deliver it personally into your hands or cause it to be read in you presence." Spoke the gentleman standing in the centre of the room, which was the private study of the prelate he was addressing.
The Abbot nodded gravely, and as he did so an impious thought threatened to mar his otherwise saintly countenance; here was another napapen, a bastard, titled, privileged and doubtless armed with an inflated sense of entitlement derived from a certificate of heredity from the Ethnographers. The obsession with title and heritage amongst these Babkhans was tiresome at the best of times, and evermore so at grudgingly given audiences held at singularly inappropriate times. And not a hint of apology for the disturbance either. The Abbot was not best pleased to have been dragged away from the evening Adof Lest and, of course, the mandated, and hearty, post-adoration supper all on account of a glorified herald turning up at an hour that less than solicitous. Nonetheless a herald from the Khan was a herald from the Khan, and, as needs must, prudence dictates that the Khan at least be humoured.
Present with the pair in the Abbot´s Study was the Deacon, a scribe and an acolyte apprenticed to the scribe and studying his vocation - the Abbot preferred his secretaries to learn minute taking in the old fashion, shorthand, set down on paper to be rewritten onto parchment and bound into the book of deeds for his reign later. Teleprinters were only permitted in Administration Office under the supervision of the Deacon and all mechanisms for the recording of the spoken word and or the physical likeness expressly prohibited as blasphemous. Accordingly, every hour of the day and every day of the year, a scribe would have to be on hand to record any incident of note that might be worth an entry in the Book of Deeds for Abbot Laudbuller, he of the utmost serenity and the most pious disposition, etcetera, etcetera.
The trouble with a letter from the Khan was that you could never safely anticipate its contents, it could be a donation, a gift or a summons to court to receive some other mark of favour, or else it could be an invitation bow your head and stretch forth your neck in submission ready for the strangler´s rope. Then again it could be a request for an answer to a question on some obscure or irrelevant point of theology, such as how to reconcile the adoration of Zurvan with the local religions or whether the eating of a boiled egg on Arisday was considered haram or not, and even then there was no guarantee as to how the Khan would necessarily take the answer. Discretion and caution was usually advisable.
The Abbot, accordingly, found it prudent at that moment to cough. It was not a loud cough; indeed it was barely audible at all. It could even havemistaken for the sign of a modestly sore throat. The Deacon, who had not become Deacon by dint of being unobservant, knew the Abbot´s little mannerisms well enough to clap his hands twice and make plain to the scribe and his apprentice by certain gestures that they were, in no uncertain terms, to promptly have a care so as to be elsewhere, post-haste. This they did, silently and without fuss. The acolyte had started to gather up the writing materials and sheaves of paper when the Deacon bid him to leave them as they were on the secretarial desk, which was little bigger than might have been found in the classroom of elementary school run by the Order for the young children of the Commune, and it was at this desk that the Deacon, whose discretion was more assured, now sat to take a record suitable for inclusion in the Book of Deeds.
"Read it. Let us hear what our Lord, in all matters temporal, commands." The curious stressing and emphasis in the Abbot´s words there was no accident and was instead a comparatively nuanced reference to a rather grudging dispute over jurisdiction between the Order of the Rehabilitated Lest and the Khan which had been resolved not so long ago by the arrival of a party of gentlemen carrying some rather hefty looking lead-tipped cudgels, and after whose visit a compromise had been reached whereby the Khan became a most generous patron and protector of the Order and the Abbot, in gratitude, volunteered to the Khan a tenth of the proceeds of revenue generated by the Order´s Abode and the Commune of Allswell which had been established back in time immemorial to support the Abode by providing it with a guaranteed income and a supply of lay-workers for those niggling menial duties that were considered beneath the attention of those whose lives had been dedicated to contemplating how unfairly the great God Lest had been slandered and libelled by the more commonplace mythologies of Elwynn .
"Khan, to our good friend the most serene and holy Abbot of the Abode ofntinence, in the Commune of Allswell, let it be noted that by these letters patent we instruct you to adhere to and implement the following ordinance;
Ardashir Piroz Moqtada al-Osmani, Khan of Vijayanagara, Baron of Eliria &etc. doeth by this ordinance hereby decree as follows:"
The Abbot stifled a yawn, an in a not especially subtle manner either, by moving his hand, gloved in fine green fabric and studded with emeralds of quite stupefying expense, over his face from his upper lip down to his chin, finally making as if to stroke the immaculately curled black locks of his chin, as if he were given to some sort of deliberation.
"Perhaps it would be best to let us assay the letter´s contents with our own eyes. Even in this place of holiness there may be some whose attentive ears have the misfortune to share a head with an indiscrete tongue."
The Biddle nodded in turn and stepped forward to hand the letter to the Abbot. The Abbot´s grand desk had many great draws, as if having many draws were also a token of great rank, and from one of these, which he proceeded to open, drew out and placed upon his nose a pair of horn rimmed spectacles and with these he now began to read the missive - whist silently wondering what new insanity had been dropped on his lap as it were from up on high.
The reader can be assured that the letter went on like this for a good couple of pages. The Abbot however was a good deal less assured as he of course had to actually contend with the contents of the letter which concluded thus:1.0. An Amicable Loan from the Commune of Allswell to the Exchequer of the Barony of Eliria:
1.1. With regards to the Commune of Allswell, in the County of Alalehzamin, we do hereby authorise the Abbot and the Aldermen of the Commune to assemble the inhabitants of the Commune and give notice to the aforementioned that we shall in require the surrender and submission of all rents and dues to the County for this year and the year to come before the end of this month to be delivered unto the Citadel at Ardashirshahr. The Abbot is further instructed to appoint an officer to call the assembly to order and to preside over the endorsing of this our most humble and solicitous request;mposition being so as to finance the restoration of public order and discipline within the bounds of Eliria and the two counties and other such public works as are to the benefit of the whole of the Commonweal;
1.3. Instruct the mercantile and common folk that this advance is to be regarded as an amicable loan on the part of the populace to the state that is necessary for the security of the realm as a whole, and for the good of all men. The inherent virtue of this amicable loan is to be impressed upon all present;
1.4. The holiness of the loan is to be greatly stressed, make such relics that you have available to the presiding officer of the assembly ratifying the loan so that all might consider the Amicable Loan, once ratified, to be under holy ban and that malefactors, defaulters and dissenters shall incur the swift and doubtless terrible displeasure of Lest - which the secular authorities shall be on hand to provide.
2.0. Particulars relating to the Amicable Loan:
2.1. The advance of two years worth of dues shall be repaid by the granting of bonds authorised by the Baron, and signed by an appropriate public officer on his behalf, which shall be deemed to be equal to the value of the advance;
2.2. [...]
This we have ordered in every expectation of its good and faithful execution by all parties concerned.
While there was no evidence in the text to justify the supposition, the Abbot found himself imagining the Khan, as he dictated the letter to some minion or another, placing quite a special emphasis on `execution´ and `all parties concerned´.
The Abbot removed his spectacles and placed them back in the draw from whence they had come and, having placed the letter down carefully on the desk looked up at the Biddle. Excellency, I trust, understands of course that this will not play well with the tenants?"
"I would not know. He did not discuss the matter with me; I was merely instructed to come here with this message."
"But you have been at Court. Policies tend to be formulated through a process of debate and discussion, this point and others like it have surely been raised?"
"That would not be for me to say. As I have been commanded so do I obey. I do not ask questions of higher authority."
"Very commendable, I have no doubt, but - say if it were you who had drafted this order and someone said to you that those who were expected to pay were likely to object to the imposition?"
"Speaking hypothetically, my Lord Abbot?"
"Well, if that makes you more comfortable then, yes - speaking hypothetically."
"In that case I would say..."
"There is no need to note this part, Brother Belofast." interjected the Abbot, addressing the remark to the Deacon.
"My Lord Abbot, I had already written that your lordship and the Biddle discussed matters with conviviality and decorum whilst reading the letter addressed by the Khan."
"Prudent and yet also truthful in spite of what it omits. My apologies dear Biddle, please continue."
"I would say that as it is for the defence of the motherland, everyone who can has a moral and patriotic obligation to contribute and that even on a purely practical level the incremental return offered by the bonds would mean that they, over time, would make a profit in real terms."
"And yet two years rent payable immediately is surely beyond any reasonable expectation of the tenants´ means."
"If they are unable to pay the required amount they should give whatever is within their means."
"Even under the circumstances they would be loathe to do so."
"And yet, Lord Abbot, forgive me if I speak plainly, were I he I would say that our master expects you to invoke holy terror so as to ensure compliance."
"Fossed as a hypothesis, as to what His Excellency expects and anticipates are what I sought and that is what you have given. Indeed you have my thanks."
"It is merely what I would suppose. I do not know the mind of the man."
"I think we both know his mind well enough. What he has an army to raise and train and a war against the fugitive Loki to fight. What he needs is ready cash and speaking frankly, as you were wont to just now, I do not believe he is overly worried how he obtains it - with this order he has identified three potential sources of income, the amicable loan from those who are willing or coerced into giving it, a punitive fine on those charged with collecting it who he deems to have acted with insufficient vigour and of course the confiscation of the property and wealth of those who see fit to resist the imposition."
Both the Biddle and the Deacon looked decidedly uneasy all of the sudden. What the Abbot just said sailed rather close to the wind as being tantamount to being a criticism. The Khan carried on the long established family tradition of being ill-disposed towards criticism.
"I believe my Lord Abbot speaks a jest." said the Deacon, quite clearly not believing the words even as he said them.
"Oh indeed, but I am quite sure that the Biddle here shares my humour." Translation: `That is, he and I both know that the Khan is an utterly despicable and unscrupulous bastard.´
"I wouldn´t necessarily say that." which translates of course as `yes´.
"Ah." The Abbot´s smile radiated an implied comprehension of the subtext to their little discourse. "But of course you must be hungry. The hour is late and the night has come on. I´m afraid we will have missed supper in the dinning hall but we shall have a light supper here. Brother Belofast, what was tonight´s menu?"
"Humble fare, my Lord Abbot, Brother Prior informs me it was poached eggs and oatmeal set in golden syrup."
"Duck or chicken eggs?" enquired the Abbot.
lical poverty." muttered Abu Aziz.
"I´m sorry," replied the Abbot, looking genuinely perplexed, "but you must have us confused with some other order. We do not venerate poverty here but rather we seek to contemplate the love that Lest held for his sister, Elwynn. A love of course which overcame both his senses and the sensibilities of others; and as such we worship beauty for its own sake and with no regard to cost or consequence. In so doing we remind ourselves that Lest was not as the common so often deride him for being but rather he was the foremost aesthete who perceived that when it comes to true beauty the only sin is to compromise."
"I see." remarked Abu Aziz, wondering as he did whether or not that was quite the most deranged thing he had ever heard.
The Abbot however paid no heed, for while his body was very much still planted in the chair he was in his minds eye adoring Lest grasping Elwynn´s slender waist as though she were a golden chalice filled with rubies, emeralds, sapphires, all manner of diamonds and nothing so vulgar as a mere `semi-precious´ stone to be found amongst them.
The Biddle himself was transfixed now, starring at the Abbot and wondering at the where the beatific grin on his face had come from. After a moment or two of this he glanced across to the Deacon as if for an explanation.
The Deacon shrugged apologetically. "The spirit takes him sometimes. We know not where, he never talks of it afterwards; save but to say that what he sees is beautiful beyond all imagining. He is truly a wonder."
"He is truly something. Tell me does your order have an obligatory vow of celibacy?"
"It does."
"That would explain it then."
"I wouldn´t know."
The Biddle just looked at him quizzically but decided not to press the matter, just in case he were to have nightmares afterwards on account of the answer.
"We should have supper in here." said the Deacon. "He may return to us if he smells food."
Once the order hafterwards - it seemed the Deacon was in the habit of being obeyed, pardon the pun. A chair for the Biddle had also been dragged in, much to his relief, having been standing for the entire duration of the interview. A bottle of Shiraz, in honour of the guest, also materialised from some dark corner of the wine cellar. Having draped his jacket over the back of his chair Abu Aziz fished around in its pocket before pulling out a cigarette container and a gold plated lighter. He proffered one to the Deacon who demurred citing a tickly throat that smoke tended to aggravate. The Deacon intimated that he would like to say grace before eating or the lighting up of Cancer Sticks, incidentally not a derogatory term here but the actual brand name as sold by North Babkhan Tobacco, commenced.
"Holy Father Lest, whose especial love for his Sister has been so misunderstood by the ignorant, and who has never been, nor ever shall be, the cause, directly or indirectly, of any event that could have imperilled creation, we honour thy hallowed name with adoration unsurpassed. Forgive us the trespasses of the Y´brekki, to whom we are in no way related and for whose actions in the past we are in no way culpable, as we forgive those who continue to perpetuate this erroneous association, though they be ill-informed and doubtless irrevocably condemned to an eternity of torment in Balgurd as misshapen fiends twitching and writhing in an unrelenting agony which shall never ease and for which there is no salve we do nonetheless forgive them, for we are magnanimous and we wish this to be taken into account. For thine as a beloved and a possession is the Elwynn, Sister and River, forever and ever, ashem-vohu"
"Ashem-vohu" said the Biddle, smiling at the inclusion of the Babkhan loanwords.
"Lapis Lazuli" murmured the Abbot, saliva forming on his lips, who was still in his far-off and jewel-encrusted happy place.