Ilion's monologue

[andelarion]

Written a while back. It's the story of Ilion, an Elfinshi kid, who escaped the genocide to Amity. We follow him one day of his life...

(Morning. Ilion is sitting on his made bed.)

Tomorrow´s my birthday. Quite looking forward to it actually. When I was little my mum and dad used to come in the mornings with a cake and some presents. I liked that. I wonder if they´ll do the same tomorrow. Dunno about the cake, but the attention you get on those mornings - I mean - you really felt loved. All the smiles, hugs and "happy birthdays".

I wish mum and dad smiled more. But they´re not feeling very well, you know... Not since we moved. But still they say that living here in Amity is much better than being back in Elwynn. And I, I dunno, I just wish they were happy.

I talked to mum about it a few months ago and she said that I shouldn´t worry, that I should keep concentrating on school and be healthy so I could pass my exams and all that. But I don´t care about the exam stuff really. Not if mum and dad are being in some sort of black cloud. I don´t want to lose them. But I think I might.

Ever since Toria, my sister, died, and all that about how she died and what happened before she died and all that you know, and it just took too much on them. I miss Toria... I miss her being bad to me, I miss her... Miss everything about her really. But you can´t change history really, can you?

School soon. I don´t really want to go. Usually I go but leave early and whatever and go to town, doing nothing or doing nowt as my friends would say. They go "Skiving are you?" and I ignore them. I don´t want to, but I just don´t wanna talk to them. I mean, don´t get me wrong. I like them. I love them. But they´re a pain in the arse sometimes. "Have you eaten, mate?" "You look a bit pale today, you okay, mate?" Just so - annoying!

But then again... I am quite ill now and then. Maybe that´school over the year. And I usually get my skiving away when I say that I just didn´t feel well so that´s why I just didn´t turn up for school. Or whatever. The teachers don´t really care. They just stick together and don´t care about anybody else. I don´t like them. They never care. They just "Aw, that´s OK, Ilion. Just keep your strength up." And then they go "Everything will be fine, you´ll see" and then they gave me this fake smile and try to half-hug or whatever. Idiots.

(New scene. Schoolyard. Ilion´s leaning on a tree in the middle of the garden.)

I often wonder what made me come here. I mean, Amity out of all the places in the world. Quite funny really. From a south, cold Elwynnese village to Amity - hot and sunny. Weird. Weird. Not that I don´t like Amity, don´t get me wrong. It´s just... very different. It sort of reminds me of Kolaria in the forests and the mountains I knew... But there are no forests anymore, it´s all a great, vast desert.

But I miss the mountains. Even in the hottest days of the summer there were snow on the mountain tops. Snow covered them, even in the summer´s day. Me and my friends used to climb the hills around them. We said, "When we grow up we´ll climb Balor!" That´s the highest mountain in Elwynn and it´s over four kilometres high. My dad used to say that on top of Balor you could see all the way to the River Elwynn, and even to Shirekeep. I dunno if it´s true, but I thought that when I was little. So I´ve always wanted to climb Balor. And that´s one of my dreams I guess.

But I just can´t go back to Elwynn. The Elwynnese don´t like "dissidents". That´s what they call us. We have been "unpatriotic" when we left Elwynn as refugees. And they don´t care about what made us leave. What made us leave our homes, our families and our friends. They don´t care. They hate us anyway. Maybe I´ll be able to go back to Elwynn the day Elwynn becomes free. Then I can climb Balor andy for about two years. Was eleven when we left Elwynn after Toria had been killed. We managed to cross the border to Brookshire, but Brookshire wasn´t safe. We had to go further south through the unclaimed lands of the Benacian continent, where we met some good Machiavellian people who gave us some documents - documents that said we were refugees. And then they sent us to this place. Amity. At least we have food here and we´re not as harassed here as we were in Elwynn. And we don´t have to be afraid of getting killed. And I got friends, but I miss my old friends in Elwynn. And my grandma and my grandpa. I wonder... Are they still alive?

It makes me so angry that we can´t have any contact with my old friends and family in Elwynn. I just wish I could talk to them. Ring them. But the Ardashirian Savak checks every letter, every phone call that goes to our family, if they´re still alive that is. I hate the Ardashirians!

(New Scene. Late afternoon. Ilion´s kitchen. He´s sitting by an empty table.)

Been to school now and fainted today again. They sent me to the nurse and she looked at me. She just looked at me, and she said: "Boy, boy, boy. You´re a bit of a trouble, aren´t you?" I giggled and said "Sorry". She clapped me on the shoulder and she said: "Aw, that´s OK. You really need to eat some more, kid." I smiled and said "yeah sure". But truth is I don´t need eating more. I already weigh too much. Bit embarrassing being chubby. She said: "I´ll have to ring your parents again, OK?" And then I went. We had PE. We played football and even though I did my best I didn´t manage to score a single goal! What the... I used to be so good at football. But I couldn´t even run fast. It made me angry. Ever since I got a bit plump I´ve been bad at sport.

But I really try to do my best. But I just can´t. I just - can´t. I even go to the leisure centre a million times a week, swimming for hours. But nothing seems to work. I just wished it
After PE I showered, went to town and skipped maths. I´m not good at maths, and the teacher - he´s creepy. And whenever you ask for help - you raise your hand - he comes and he stands behind you and he says "what don´t you understand? We explained this last week!" And you feel really dumb and he doesn´t care. Just like every other teacher. I hate them. Sadists. And they have given me so much homework. But I don´t do it. I hate it. I hate homework. I hate school.

The only teacher I like is Mrs Sagudraumr . She´s my Nordic teacher and she´s from Stormark. I always do her homework, and I never skive off her lessons. I even managed to ace Nordic and I´m so happy for that. She´s really nice and she cares. She looks good too. I got some Nordic homework I did when I went to the leisure centre. We had to write a poem, and I did that just in a few seconds when I was sitting in the café. It sounded really good in Nordic but if you translate it it just becomes ridiculous: "I dream with you, we live together. We dream of nights but when dreams die you die with me." See? I usually do the Nordic homework for Arik too. I texted him and asked him what he wanted his poem to be about. He said: "Sex, breasts and hot girls". Yeah. So I made him a poem about that and texted it to him and he texted back "lol you´re the best!" But when he saw mine he said it was gay. As if he would care what it was about.

(New Scene. Ilion´s bedroom. He´s lying on his made bed.)

School rang. They usually ring now and then after I´ve fainted. I think it´s like a check-up call to see that I´m alright or something, or that mum and dad should have known that I fainted or whatever. I´m not really bothered about what they said because nothing changes anyway. You can´t really change I´m ill and stuff, can you? And mum thinks that too. I heard her become angry on the phone.

I heard her say: "Don´t you know how he´s struggling with life?" And then she sas sure the nurse would do the same if she´s seen her sister being raped and murdered in front of her.

And then she went on with her usual lies: "Ever since his puberty he´s been naturally thin for God´s sake!" And maybe it´s not completely a lie after all. I think she really thinks I look thin... I wonder why... She then said "He´s my son! I think I very well know him better than you do. He has no `eating disorders´ for crying out loud."

(pause for a few seconds)

I love mum. I love the way she cares about me. I love her so much.