An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post Reply
User avatar
Allot
Posts: 1413
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:50 pm
Location: Araxion Fortress, Iserdia, Elwynn
Contact:

An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Allot »

Albert got off the weird tunnel thingy (is there an actual name for them?) that connected the plane to the airport and managed to push his way through the tumultuous crowd that clogged the exit to Eliria airport. How he had managed to get away from Duke Dine was anybody's guess. Thank the gods for Isabelle and her sheep-scented bacon-flavoured sleeping pills.

"I need you to go to Eliria," Isabelle had said, once Leo had been sedated and Albert stolen away to Araxion Tower.
"Eliria? If I remember correctly, things weren't exactly peachy last time we were there."
"I remember," Isabelle said darkly. "That's why I'm not going. You don't have pointy ears, the Cudgellers shouldn't give you any problems...Knock on wood."
"Who am I going to see? I refuse to be in the same building as the Khan," said Albert. "With due respect, of course."
"I understand. Unfortunately that is unavoidable. But you should be able to stay away from him if you can find this person alone."


An armoured Cudgeler hefted his weapon as Albert approached Castle Eliria.
"Can I help you, sir?" said the Cudgeler, with that particular emphasis that helping was not the particular action the speaker had in mind.
"Yes, I bring a message from Leo Dine for Shapur Osmani."
It took the Cudgeller a few seconds to remember who both those people were.
"I see. Did the Duke happen to provide you with proper written permission?"
"Ahah, not exactly. You see, he happened to fall asleep before he could pen the note."
Albert cursed inside his mind. This was exactly what happened last time, just before someone was cudgeled. He hoped it wouldn't happen again.
Isabelle Allot Kalirion
Retired

User avatar
Aurangzeb Khan
Posts: 3251
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

The Cudgeller was secretly elated. The reputation of the Gentlemen-at-Cudgels was by now so well established that the good folk of Eliria had become subservient, grovelling and depressingly well-behaved in their presence. Now this luckless outlander, blundering up to the gates without a proper permit was just asking to be on the receiving end of all of the cudgeller's pent up irritation and aggression.

To top it all, the blagger trying to talk his way in, was an odd looking chap, or rather he looked as though several decidedly odd and ill fitting chaps had been sawn up and sowed together to make new and singularly unpleasant whole.

"Ah I see Sir. Begging your pardon but if the Duke does ask I shall excuse myself by saying that 'I umbly begs your pardon m'lord but you sees I was technically asleep when my cudgel did by pure happenstance alight upon the brow of yon misshapen vassal'. So I ask, how does that sit with thee, thou ghastly lump of mal-woven callouses?"

User avatar
Allot
Posts: 1413
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:50 pm
Location: Araxion Fortress, Iserdia, Elwynn
Contact:

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Allot »

"Er... I'd rather you didn't. I'm quite old, you see, you might accidentally kill me. I think we've had a bit of a misunderstanding, sir, so let's start over, shall we? My name is Albert."

Albert slipped the twenty erb note stealthily into his palm and extended his hand, for shaking purposes. He braced himself for a broken wrist, and smiled at the Cudgeler.

---
"What is he doing?!" hissed one of the gnomes, watching from a mouse hole in the stone wall.
"I don't know! I can't see... Oh, a bribe! That might actually work," said the second gnome.
"Remind me why we're following him again."
"Because Isabelle said she'd feed us to a sheep if we didn't?"
"Right. By remind me, I meant don't remind me."

Percy Rutherford
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:15 pm

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Percy Rutherford »

A Cudgeler's foot narrowly missed Percy and Ian as they sprinted across the marble hall. Once the coast was clear, they turned the corner and ran straight for Shapur's room. They could only hope they would reach him before the Cudgeler decided to clobber Albert.
Percy Rutherford
IB Examiner
Vertically Challenged

User avatar
Aurangzeb Khan
Posts: 3251
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

"Ah well it seems to me sir that there has been some misapprehension as to your identity and the likes Mr... eh... Igor was it sir? Best be about your doubtlessly lawful business."

With that the cudgeller grasped the hand proffered by Albert and squeezed, hard.

User avatar
Allot
Posts: 1413
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:50 pm
Location: Araxion Fortress, Iserdia, Elwynn
Contact:

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Allot »

Albert smiled at the Cudgeler and hurried through the gates. He had to find the Khan's son as quickly as possible, so he could get out of here.

Isabelle was several hundred metres away, attempting to discover whether Tyen (who was currently trying to force her into a helicopter) was pulling a bluff, a double bluff, a triple bluff, a quadruple bluff, a strange and exotic means of buying time for Leo, or whether someone was just playing silly buggers. Unknown to either of them, Percy and Ian Rutherford had slipped under Shapur Osmani's door, ready to deliver their crucial message.

Inside the room (it was empty), the gnomes decided they would scale the desk (oak, very easy to climb) and await Shapur there.

Isabelle had finally managed to locate her emergency bone and throw it for Tyen. During the ensuing chaos, she had slipped away into the maze-like corridors of Castle Elira, in her search for Shapur Osmani. She hoped that either the gnomes or Albert had already found him. She made sure to bring her Ducal permission slip with her.


"This Shapur...he's not anything like his father, is he?" asked Ian, leaning against an oil lamp (preserved for historical purposes).
"Not from what I hear. We wouldn't be asking him if he was, would we?" replied Percy.
"Good. You know, if I ever see that man, I'm going to..."
"Give it a rest. You know we can't. He's already passed his IB Exams, our powers are useless except on Diploma Candidates."
Ian nodded, and looked out the window, gazing at the clouds. He would often daydream about leaving Geneva Headquarters, until Percy found some Higher Level History Paper 3 exams for him to mark. He was getting into one of his moods when he noticed someone in green moving purposefully towards the castle in the gardens below.
"I say! Percy! Look down there!" He motioned for Percy to come towards the window.
"What is it? What?" asked Percy.
"It's Isabelle!" exclaimed Ian.
"Bugger," said Percy.
"Marmalade."
"Let's hide."
"Quite."
"Indeed."
"Rather."
Isabelle Allot Kalirion
Retired

User avatar
Leo Fenrir
Posts: 1197
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2009 3:12 pm
Location: Echo Manor, Nordland

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Leo Fenrir »

[Tyen want's it clarified that he was not distracted by the bone itself but more by the impact of the bone with his face. Can't be letting his rep slip.]
Leo Fenrir

User avatar
Allot
Posts: 1413
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:50 pm
Location: Araxion Fortress, Iserdia, Elwynn
Contact:

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Allot »

Indeed.
Isabelle Allot Kalirion
Retired

User avatar
Aurangzeb Khan
Posts: 3251
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

Shapur did not know quite why he and his companions, the somewhat archaically titled Knights-Errant of the Stagg, should have been expected to devote an entire week to a seminar on "Advancing the Health & Safety Culture in a Progressive Elwynn: Towards the Next Milestone" unless, in all probability, it was because his father the Khan, and most of the senior echelons of the Elwynnbrigaden would have in all probability shot the "Course Facilitator" within five minutes of the first brainstorming workshop. As it was it had been a close run thing that a similar act of grotesque violence did not occur, and that was only due to Shapur prudently instructing his brother knights to leave their weapons in the Academy of Elwynn's cloakroom. By the end of the first day, some of Shapur's colleagues, men who habitually laughed in the face of danger and imminent doom and destruction, were crying tears born of sheer undiluted boredom and incomprehension.

In the end Shapur formulated an efficacious survival strategy - that of simply not listening to what was being said and instead focusing contentedly on the next coffee break, the next surreptitious swig of whiskey decanted from a comrade's hip-flask, and finally the pint at the disreputable bar on Gropecunte Street to mark the end of another day of utterly irredeemable tedium.

Shapur and "the lads" had gone on a "bit of a bender" to mark the end of the series of seminars and it was only now that he found himself staggering back into his quarters. And as he opened his door and beheld two gnome like dwarfs sitting on his oak desk looking thoroughly fed up as though they had spent more than a week awaiting his arrival, Shapur wondered if agreeing to sample the Coca Wine before leaving was a bit of a mistake...

Percy Rutherford
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:15 pm

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Percy Rutherford »

"Ian!"
"What is it, Percy?"
"He's here!"
"Who?"
"Shapur!"
"Buggeration!"
"Quoi?"
"What do you think you are, French?"
"He looks slightly inebriated."
"Oh dear."
"Indeed."
"Quite."
"Rather."
"What shall we do?"
"Buggered if I know."

There was a strange silence as Shapur and the gnomes stared at each other.

"I've got it Percy!"
"Oh, do go on, Ian!"
"Let's give him a TOK essay to write, that'll sober him up!"
"Oh good idea, Ian!"
"Shall I assign the title?"
"Go for it, old chap!"

***epistemological magic***

"Did it work, Percy?"
"I think so, Ian!"
"Brilliant!"
"Brilliant indeed!"
"Quite!"
"Rather."






"Remind me why we're here again, Percy."
"Isabelle."
"Oh yes."
"Quite."
"Indeed."
"Rather."
Percy Rutherford
IB Examiner
Vertically Challenged

User avatar
Aurangzeb Khan
Posts: 3251
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

Shapur was, understandably, dumbfounded.

"Erm. Let's see. Epistemological magic is a mythic concept which takes the form of an expression of what passed for human understanding during the early stages of human intellect. Such expression and understanding is arrived at in the pre-scientific, pre-technological, uncritical and naïve stage of consciousness and intellectual development. Now would you please mind telling me what the Balgurd you are doing in my quarters?"

Percy Rutherford
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:15 pm

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Percy Rutherford »

Percy nodded, and stepped forward.

"You are Shapur Osmani," he said, with the typical, emotionless tone of the IB Examiner reading the Notice to Candidates. "You are currently the only carrier of the gene AUH 66 who does not exhibit its properties. For this reason, we have located you. Apologies," he continued, "you are not aware of your history. Explanation is required. Ian," he said.

Ian stepped forward.

"The Osmanis are the carriers of a unique human gene, one that has yet to be found in any other species, including other humans. This gene is AUH 66, which exhibits itself in the form of unexplained homicidal instincts, usually genocidal in nature. You, however, do not exhibit this quality."

Shapur opened his mouth, but Percy interrupted him.
"Correct," he said. "Data was confirmed by IBIS during a hunt with Ardashir Khan, wherein you exhibited abnormal emotional and hormonal fluctuations when ordered to kill another living being."

"For this reason," said Ian, "we believe you may harbour feelings of resentment towards Ardashir Khan and his acts against other species, and consequently will feel compelled to act kindly towards, and possibly in cooperation with towards those who oppose him."

"We realize that this will count as high treason and will most certainly earn you the death penalty if Ardashir Khan finds out. However, should all go according to plan, we may be able to prevent such occurrences."

"In summary," said Percy, "we are asking for your help."
Ian sniggered.
"Ian also believes that you may be enticed by Isabelle Allot's aesthetic beauty and something he insists on referring to as the "Cleavage Factor", but I remain of the view that you are more mature than that and can approach the situation as a level-headed inquirer. Do shut up, Ian."
Percy Rutherford
IB Examiner
Vertically Challenged

Percy Rutherford
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:15 pm

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Percy Rutherford »

Ian poofed back into existence on Shapur's desk, which had been taken over as the gnomes' base of operation. Percy stood up and strode across the desk to Ian.
"Report," he said.
"New and urgent developments," replied Ian, in a new and urgent tone, "Lady Allot is in grave danger. She is being hunted both by strange insects and Ardashir Khan. She is currently with Leo Dine and is preparing for a trip into space. We fear she may be suffering psychological damages as well."

It took Percy a few seconds to register the information, but then his eyebrows snapped together and he swiveled as if on a swivelly chair to Shapur, who had left a week ago.

"Action is required immediately. Consequently we require a decision from you. Please state your response in the space provided," said Percy. After a few seconds of silence, Ian leaned over and noted that the recipient of Percy's speech seemed to have been a chair.

"Bugger," said Percy. "When did he leave?"
"IBIS suggests over a week ago," said Ian.
"Marmalade," swore Percy, "we must find him again. Our concerns regarding Ardashir are confirmed, he must be dealt with quickly. He is the antithesis of the IB Learner Profile and a threat to the entirety of the IBO. Summon the Chief Examiners, and bring me the Vade Mecum. I want to see what it says about finding sneaky Babkhans."
Percy Rutherford
IB Examiner
Vertically Challenged

User avatar
Aurangzeb Khan
Posts: 3251
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr

Re: An actual messenger arrives... :O

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

Baronial Psychoanalytical Facility, Eliria

"So you see Herr Doktor, these two Garden Gnomes were sitting in my office and they were trying to convince that I had some vital part to play in rescuing Isabelle from some insane evil scheme or another."

"I see Mr al-Osmani. So in the narrative that is constituted by your hallucination you had received the 'Call to Adventure' where the hero, and in your delusion this is you - congratulations - has been called into action by a series of heralds. Never though have I heard of 'gnomes' as you call them serving in the capacity of heralds. Perhaps in the collective unconsciousness they are representative avatars of the god Bes who in traditional belief protected women and children from the malevolence of evil spirits."

"No, herr Doktor, they claimed to be employees of an IB Syndicate."

"IB? Why that is plainly insane. Are you on medication?"

"Only aspirin."

"Hmm. Well by seeking to challenge and escape this delusion by seeking the advice of professionals you are at the second stage of the progression of the story archetypes, which is where you have refused the call to adventure."

"I see. So by refusing the call I escape any obligation to get involved in this madness?"

"On the contrary your delusion will grow more acute as you will come to experience immense suffering designed to induce or compel you into accepting the calling."

"Oh I can hardly imagine that there will be anything so bad as to force me to accept that."

"Quite so, quite so. Now I don't think there is any serious long term problem here. But to round matters off I would just like to conclude by examining your feelings towards your father."

"Herr Doktor I don't think we should go there..."

Post Reply

Return to “County of Eliria and Utasia”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest