The Gates of Eliria

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Eliria

"In Zurvan´s name -how can these papers not be in order... the Khan´s signature is quite evident on the page there, look I even kept the seal that was affixed to the envelope."

It was 2139 on an Vivantiaday and Abu Aziz Motahmed, Biddle of Islus, was in no mood for being pissed around with by an officious, and doubtless severely over-promoted, Gate Guard.

"Oh and I don´t doubt it Sir. That is a fine bit of parchment you´re holding there and no mistake, probably came fresh from the Good Lord´s own stationers just for the occasion as like. Would you not agree Brother Elafrac?" The Gentleman-Cudgeller enquired of his companion at the barrier with a certain solemnity of a quality that an impartial observer might consider to be somewhat - mocking in its tone and inference.

"Oh indeed, Brother Cadwal" replied his comrade - the Gentlemen-at-Cudgels having by this stage developed a faintly irritating habit of addressing each other on a fraternal basis, setting themselves up as an order apart from the rest of society, whom they tended to addreoi! You! What the fuck you think you playing at!´ and other similarly less than endearing phrases. "That´s proper vellum that is. With Gold thread Inlay in the margins, and look it even has that new fancy holographical whatsit anti-fraud device embedded in the header crest..."

"Then what is the problem?" Asked Abu Aziz, his exasperation steadily escalating at a rate to rapidly match his irritation levels, which had already sky-rocketed.

"Well you see, Sir," resumed Cudgeller Cadwal "while your letter of accreditation is in order your Permit Card was issued by the County Service in Alalehzamin."

"And?"

"And, Sir, you´ll find Eliria, being where we are presently, is in the County of Eliria and Utasia and not in Alalehzamin where your Permit Card had validity. So you see you lack the necessary permissions to enter the city after curfew. I shouldn´t worry Sir there is a Transients Hostel about a mile down the road, back the way you came, though that shouldn´t be a problem what with your car, although I will have to check the paperwork for that as well I´m afraid."

"What? This is insane. All public servants enjoy exactly the same credentials and have a standing permit to travel within the two counties of the Barony regardless of issuing authority. There was an Ordinance that explicitly stated exactly that."

"I don´t think so Sir."

"Damn it man! I think I should know. I was on the working group that drafted the damned thing."

"The Gazette." Interjected the grizzled Elafrac, who looked as though he had been lifted from a gaol in the midst of his dotage, hosed down and given a cudgeller´s uniform one size too big (Which happened to be the case in this instance).

"Go on..." the Biddle´s incredulity was starting to catch up with his heightened irritation and exasperation.

"Well, if it ain´t published in the Gazette then it ain´t happened. So to speak."

"But, that was weeks ago."

"Aye, I hear there´s a bit of ."

"Surely only enabling orders are to be published? If every piece of technical regulation had to be published in order to be valid the Gazette would run to volumes."

"Tens of volumes." Commented Cadwal, helpfully. "Which would explain the backlog in publication."

"Well, that is actually insane. I´m surprised the Gazetteer still has a head on his shoulders."
"To be honest we are a bit surprised too. I´d say matters would be otherwise were the Khan not quite so distracted."

"Distracted?"

"Distracted. You see His Grace the Duke has had another one of his `funny turns´ and is off in the hills being treated by some voodoo quacks and the Khan and the Steward are in Nordland themselves at the moment; up Vijayanagara way trying to eradicate some 47,000 year old bug infestation."

"As you do." Replied Abu laconically. "So you´re quite sure you can´t let me into the city tonight?"

"Afraid so; contrary to the rules, so it is."

"Hmm. Do Cudgellers have balls?"

"Do we have `balls´, Sir?" Enquired Cadwal, bristling with irritation, whilst tensing up as though preparing for the over-arm truncheon swing, that so typified the Cudgellers art of community policing.

"Balls; dancing and drinks and music and conviviality..." spluttered the Biddle, his face a picture of anxiety as the full horror of the implications carried in his rather poor choice of words dawned upon him."

"Oh." Replied Cadwal, who seemed somewhat disappointed that the justification for smacking a Babkhan round the head with a cudgel was receeding back into the middle-distance, "there has been some talk of having one."

"Well in that case would you perhaps accept a modest sum of erb towards that joyous occasion when it finally occurs?"

"Oh I´d be much obliged but this wouldn´t be in any way an improm... imprompt..."

"Impropriety? Zurvan Defend Us from the Lie." (Being a Babkhan way of saying `Perish the thought´)

&quothands.

"Of course, I do recollect having sight of a draft ordinance permitting Alalehzamin card-holders to gain admittance after curfew. Now it hasn't been published in the Gazette as such but if its been approved and signed and moved to the pending tray I'd say that would be good enough for any reasonable man. Perhaps you best come in Sir. Mind how you go, and keep a canny eye out. The curfew is as much for the protection of visitors as it is of the city. The natives tend to get a bit rowdy after kicking out time at the ale-houses."