The Temple of the Butter Cow
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The Temple of the Butter Cow
The Temple will be open to public tours until it is officially sanctified when the County government re-opens after Carnival on Novaber 1 (January 2).
The Temple of the Butter Cow is based on the Temple at Uppsala in Sweden. A silver idol of the Butter Cow adorns the center section of the temple. Idols may be constructed of the Butter Cow out of any material except butter or any type of spread, especially margarine.
The Temple of the Butter Cow is based on the Temple at Uppsala in Sweden. A silver idol of the Butter Cow adorns the center section of the temple. Idols may be constructed of the Butter Cow out of any material except butter or any type of spread, especially margarine.
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Just a few quick questions on the butter cow: 1) Is s/he female, male or does s/he transcend sexuality? 2) Has anyone ever tried to melt him/her?
By His H47,
Baron Benkern of Vorpmadal, Yardistan.
"Like us or hate us, someone will still hold the torch. You might as well try to like us." - Harvey Steffke
"Tis not a leaving of a harried knave/Tis not with tail tucked in shame/Rather in glorious exhibition of benevolent might/Sun bids the world an emblazon g'night."
"But every beginning is only a continuation and the book of fate is always open in the middle."
Baron Benkern of Vorpmadal, Yardistan.
"Like us or hate us, someone will still hold the torch. You might as well try to like us." - Harvey Steffke
"Tis not a leaving of a harried knave/Tis not with tail tucked in shame/Rather in glorious exhibition of benevolent might/Sun bids the world an emblazon g'night."
"But every beginning is only a continuation and the book of fate is always open in the middle."
- Aurangzeb Khan
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Has anyone ever attempted intercourse with the Butter Cow?
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
1) The male pronoun is used to refer to the Butter Cow in sacred texts, yet the fact that he is a cow leads scholars to suggest he is a transvestite. The second question you asked helps explain this.
2) The physical form of the Butter Cow is melted every year at the end of the Illinois State Fair. But the spirit of the Butter Cow lives on and is reincarnated next year, into a new buttery form, which is always a different breed of cow from the previous year. Therefore, since the Butter Spirit uses the male pronoun to reference himself, yet he inhabits the bodies modeled after the female bovine, leads Bovinist scholars to their conclusion of his transvestitism.
Khan) In the Story of the Vices on Mount Vice the Butter Cow gives his teachings on how one should approach acts traditionally seen as vices. The Butter Cow witnesses acts of sodomy and gluttony and accepts these acts as "just fine." The story ends with the Butter Cow engaging in an all you can eat lobster bar (he has his own butter to dress it) and this has lead scholars to think he may have also participated in the sodomy as well... and later scribes merely left this out in the interest of taste.
So Butter Cow is a homosexual transvestite and exists in Dinity of Spirit and Cow.
2) The physical form of the Butter Cow is melted every year at the end of the Illinois State Fair. But the spirit of the Butter Cow lives on and is reincarnated next year, into a new buttery form, which is always a different breed of cow from the previous year. Therefore, since the Butter Spirit uses the male pronoun to reference himself, yet he inhabits the bodies modeled after the female bovine, leads Bovinist scholars to their conclusion of his transvestitism.
Khan) In the Story of the Vices on Mount Vice the Butter Cow gives his teachings on how one should approach acts traditionally seen as vices. The Butter Cow witnesses acts of sodomy and gluttony and accepts these acts as "just fine." The story ends with the Butter Cow engaging in an all you can eat lobster bar (he has his own butter to dress it) and this has lead scholars to think he may have also participated in the sodomy as well... and later scribes merely left this out in the interest of taste.
So Butter Cow is a homosexual transvestite and exists in Dinity of Spirit and Cow.
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Aurangzeb Khan
- Posts: 3251
- Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
- Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Thank your for your illuminating answer. Do we know if the Butter Cow was the active or passive partner in the act?
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
I'm just speculating on this, but I would say he was the passive participant due to his soft physical form he could... erm... "provide" ... for many men at once.
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Aurangzeb Khan
- Posts: 3251
- Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
- Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
It seems that the demand for fleshlights (google it - seriously fucked up) must dip significantly at the time of Illinois State Fair each year.
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Hahaha... you're probably right.
I wonder... which is more fucked up, a fleshlight or a real doll?
I wonder... which is more fucked up, a fleshlight or a real doll?
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Aurangzeb Khan
- Posts: 3251
- Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 12:22 pm
- Location: The Citadel, Ardashirshahr
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
I'd say the doll since the other one is merely a wanking-tool while the doll being an inadequate representation of the human form is a poor substitute for companionship.
Of course both are pretty pointless while you still have use of your hands...
Of course both are pretty pointless while you still have use of your hands...
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Agreed, on both points.
Unless the real doll was some type of android and could respond to stimuli (no pun intended) but then that will open a whole 'nother can of worms.... no pun intended there either.
Unless the real doll was some type of android and could respond to stimuli (no pun intended) but then that will open a whole 'nother can of worms.... no pun intended there either.
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Maksym Hadjimehmetov
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:15 am
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
If I were still Matbaic Orthodox, I would so be able to declare Holy War on this cult. But since I'm now a B'Caw-worshipping Shirereithan, anything goes. Enjoy!
Oh, and I have a question of the butter cow. Surely leaving his divine dairyness to churn changes him into Yoghurt Cow, Cream Cow, or even Cheese Cow?
Oh, and I have a question of the butter cow. Surely leaving his divine dairyness to churn changes him into Yoghurt Cow, Cream Cow, or even Cheese Cow?
- Nick Foghorn Leghorn
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
People who use real dolls are the creepiest of the creepy. They actually scare me more than furries.Nathan of Natopia wrote:Agreed, on both points.
Unless the real doll was some type of android and could respond to stimuli (no pun intended) but then that will open a whole 'nother can of worms.... no pun intended there either.
See: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 8964917848
Count of Norfolk
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
I... I can't stop watching that video. It's like a train wreck
And Max, when the Butter Spirit leaves the physical form of the Cow it becomes plain, unholy butter again. Sort of a reverse-transubstantiation. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to keep track of all the holy form of the butter cow... also the butter is donated to charity or something after the fair so we can't have people just eating the body of a god and then crapping it out again can we? *glares at Catholicism*
And Max, when the Butter Spirit leaves the physical form of the Cow it becomes plain, unholy butter again. Sort of a reverse-transubstantiation. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to keep track of all the holy form of the butter cow... also the butter is donated to charity or something after the fair so we can't have people just eating the body of a god and then crapping it out again can we? *glares at Catholicism*
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Maksym Hadjimehmetov
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:15 am
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Ingenious. So the butter of His Dairyness the Butter Cow is recyclable then. What about real butter and dairy products? Can they be blessed?
Good old Butterbovinism.
Good old Butterbovinism.
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
I suppose they could be blessed, yes.
do you have a need for quantities of holy butter?
do you have a need for quantities of holy butter?
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Maksym Hadjimehmetov
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:15 am
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Yeah, there are some Butterbovinists among my troops and some of them wanted to take Holy Com-moo-nion before they went off to fight
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
The term is just Bovinist.
And "Com-moo-nion?" Honestly... no need to make a mockery of my faith!!
And "Com-moo-nion?" Honestly... no need to make a mockery of my faith!!
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Let's burn this heathen at the stake!
Or better yet... melt some butter and drown him in it! Bwa ha ha ha ha! Death by warm liquid butter!
I like your religion Nate...
Or better yet... melt some butter and drown him in it! Bwa ha ha ha ha! Death by warm liquid butter!
I like your religion Nate...
By His H47,
Baron Benkern of Vorpmadal, Yardistan.
"Like us or hate us, someone will still hold the torch. You might as well try to like us." - Harvey Steffke
"Tis not a leaving of a harried knave/Tis not with tail tucked in shame/Rather in glorious exhibition of benevolent might/Sun bids the world an emblazon g'night."
"But every beginning is only a continuation and the book of fate is always open in the middle."
Baron Benkern of Vorpmadal, Yardistan.
"Like us or hate us, someone will still hold the torch. You might as well try to like us." - Harvey Steffke
"Tis not a leaving of a harried knave/Tis not with tail tucked in shame/Rather in glorious exhibition of benevolent might/Sun bids the world an emblazon g'night."
"But every beginning is only a continuation and the book of fate is always open in the middle."
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Thank you Will. And I like your methods of execution. We could always use a High Inquisitor in the church... If you're interested in converting.
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
- Maksym Hadjimehmetov
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:15 am
Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
Nobody expects the Bovinist Inquistion!
NOBODY expects the Bovinist Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!
...Surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to our Dairy.... Our four...no... wait, I'll come in again.
NOBODY expects the Bovinist Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!
...Surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to our Dairy.... Our four...no... wait, I'll come in again.
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
heeheheh
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
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- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:48 am
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Re: The Temple of the Butter Cow
As pentheros of the Dozan Bovic Church and prophet of the reverent Butter Cow I consecrate this Temple as the seat of the Bosarchy of Glenfiddich. May His Calves find what their hearts seek here.
As Bosarch of Glenfiddich I welcome all Dozan Bovics and those interested in our religion to this magnificent temple.
As Bosarch of Glenfiddich I welcome all Dozan Bovics and those interested in our religion to this magnificent temple.
Nathan,
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
Prophet of the Butter Bull,
Head Missionary of the Bovic Dominion of Natopia,
Natopian Representative to the Small Commonwealth,
Member of the Roth Zera of Elwynnese Realm
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