Application for citizenship

[Hesam Jayatar]

Name: Hesam Jahandar
Age: Too old for this
Gender: Male
Location: Elwynn
Email:upon request
Other Micronational Citizenships: none

I request to take up residents with my compatriots in Elwynn in service of our Lord Loki, destroyer of sandcastles.

[Rai Avon-El]

Mr Jahandar,

Welcome home.

You are officially a citizen. Your application is approved.

[Jacobus Loki]

Welcome home!

I believe your cousin has the house warmed and the goat butchered for the feast.

Jacobus Loki,
Dux Elwynn

[Hesam Jayatar]

Where do we start oh dark lord? Your troops are assembled and await your order.

[Jacobus Loki]

The order is given-

WARP SPEED!

Err, wrong reality.

[Gman Russell]

What the hell is going on with all these Babkhans showing up, huh? Never trust a Babkhan...

[b3n|<3r|\|]

Just to fuel conspiracy theorists, I might remind you that I just happened to return and I am also a Babkhan.

[Allot]

Damn. I was just starting to like you, too.

[Gman Russell]

You are? Damn.

[Jacobus Loki]

There are Babkhans, and then there are Babkhans. I for one have missed the food. And the coffee. And the heavy, sweet wines.

Of course it helps to take a taster with you (save money, invite a "friend" to dine with you. Here, here taste this isn't it wonderful.....).

[Hesam Jayatar]

"That is Babkhan specialty ndi, lamb boiled in the lamentations of a genocide victim served with mint in a light hollandaise sauce. As for the coffee, you must drink it through your teeth to strain out the blood meal.

[Jacobus Loki]

(Picks teeth with a bone of underdermined origin.)

Good times, good times........

[Aurangzeb Khan]

So you enjoyed your Rakesh Goulash Surprise (the surprise being the look on his face)?

[Hesam Jayatar]

Effendi must also try Rastakhizaki. A camel stuffed with the children of tudeh and roasted over a pyre of the unrepentant. This is equivalent of child's birthday cake yes?

[Aurangzeb Khan]

But those children, the ones roasting inside the camel... do they know its Christmas? (At least it could be hypothetically - you tend to lose track of time whilst being slowly roasted over a pyre of the unrepentant)

[Cut to full-gusto chorus of FEED THE WORLD]

[Hesam Jayatar]

"Feeeeast-on-the-poooor! Do-they-know-it's-Christ-mas-time! oooh....

[Aurangzeb Khan]

"FEED THE KHAAAN! Do they know one tudeh is never enough?"

[Hesam Jayatar]

"Feeeed the Khaaan! Or-Face-He-sam-Ja-han-dar! Oh!"

[Hesam Jayatar]

*Goes to kitchen and invents new Babkhan dish: "microwaved Geldof suffocating in a plastic garbage bag"

[b3n|<3r|\|]

Tell me that comes with a side of slow-roasted Peaches?

[Ari Rahikkala]

Or maybe peaches cooked with sausages?

[Jacobus Loki]

Peaches who?

Peaches LaTour?

Peaches Johnson?