Four fair fetches of....verse

[Zirandorthel]

Well, these are four poems I wrote today, I put them together like this because I feel they are all very similar, especially the first and third, though they are almost opposites. I'd like to hear people's random abuse and/or observations, if they'd care to give it.Emotions Felt in Fanning's FrenchItchy, life at my doorClothes of day-to-dayAssumptions, presumptionsHelter-skelter, happy-go-luckyLearning much, but knowing so littleThe divine discontentConsumes meTo throw off the gloves and the shoesThe costume and the maskAnd become the beastThe Nature of the Upright ManThe nature of an upright manIs that he gives no voiceWhen others are cast downAnd puts up no protestWhen the drones throw him down tooHe is dour, quiet and resolutely unresoluteThe villain challenges the guardiansHe questions the wiseAnd defends the indefensibleThis they told meIn my cell of stone and ironAnd yet I find myselfAgain veering towards that unfortunate habitOf loving my fellow manThe MaelstromA quiet islandEncircled by shallow waterUntouched by the winds of chaos and entropyKnows nothing but tranquility and peaceAnd craves nought but a long and quiet timeBut around it lies the maelstrom.QuandygoIn the alleysFlitting in the shadows of vents, smells of today's fast food and yesterday's slow foodScampering past muggers at their simple taskRelieving the simple of their simple possessionsHe envies them their simplicity, and moves onComplicated, whirling, swirling, he dives through gapsIn walls, fences, hearts, mindsScales edifices without ropeDrops falls without parachuteSees the whistling dunce, with his hat and shining star of officeThumbs his nose at the collected harbinger of authority, and continues on his singular questAnd the last word on the not-quite-corpse's breathWhen he saw that shape slupping at his alcoholic breath, seeping like a miasma from his knifed bodyWas "Quandygo" Zirandorthel I of TreesiaThe Golden DarknessBelde of the Far Reaches.Niirus TinenetuwarLet the fates burn!

[Philip Locke]

Quote:Emotions Felt in Fanning's FrenchItchy, life at my doorClothes of day-to-dayAssumptions, presumptionsHelter-skelter, happy-go-luckyLearning much, but knowing so littleThe divine discontentConsumes meTo throw off the gloves and the shoesThe costume and the maskAnd become the beastYou've written much better. This is plagued with cliches, although their inclusion may have been intended as irony. If so, I just didn't feel it.Quote:The Nature of the Upright ManThe nature of an upright manIs that he gives no voiceWhen others are cast downAnd puts up no protestWhen the drones throw him down tooHe is dour, quiet and resolutely unresoluteThe villain challenges the guardiansHe questions the wiseAnd defends the indefensibleThis they told meIn my cell of stone and ironAnd yet I find myselfAgain veering towards that unfortunate habitOf loving my fellow manQuite. The ending lines make the poem (in typical Eoin fashion).Quote:The MaelstromA quiet islandEncircled by shallow waterUntouched by the winds of chaos and entropyKnows nothing but tranquility and peaceAnd craves nought but a long and quiet timeBut around it lies the maelstrom.This is, to snatch from Cummings, a perhaps hand. If it means what I think it means - that peace is an easily shattered illusion - than I much enjoyed it.Quote:QuandygoIn the alleysFlitting in the shadows of vents, smells of today's fast food and yesterday's slow foodScampering past muggers at their simple taskRelieving the simple of their simple possessionsHe envies them their simplicity, and moves onComplicated, whirling, swirling, he dives through gapsIn walls, fences, hearts, mindsScales edifices without ropeDrops falls without parachuteSees the whistling dunce, with his hat and shining star of officeThumbs his nose at the collected harbinger of authority, and continues on his singular questAnd the last word on the not-quite-corpse's breathWhen he saw that shape slupping at his alcoholic breath, seeping like a miasma from his knifed bodyWas "Quandygo"The imagery was satisfying and the quips amusing. However, I am quite baffled by its meaning. However, I'm a disciple of the school of thought that you should write what you want to write, even if it doesn't make complete sense to the reader. This is especially true when it comes to poetry.As a whole, Four Fair Fetches of Verse is a read that is both provocative and entertaining, a blend that is tough for any poet (especially an amateur poet) to achieve. The simplicity of the style only adds to this charm. As said above, I really find the oft-witty endings to be the golden points of the collection and the highlights of your poetry in general. I think it's a wonderful contribution to the growing stock of Hyperborean poetry.SBEK. Locke.Edited by: Philip Locke at: 12/3/03 3:31 pm

[Gryphon Avocatio]

I do like them, especially the first and third. As Locke points out, the third is a bit inaccessable, but I do that a lot too...so...it's cool with me...Were they a pleasure to read. -Gryphon Avocatio- Lord Governor and Duke of all Yardistan - Minister of Research and Education, Shireroth - Shirerothian Elder - SAVE THE KIWI!! - Lover of Llamas "You're intense and driven. That can lead to a lot of good things. It can also lead to high blood pressure and a closing of the arteries." -Mr. Mathews -- "I think that people who drive Hummers are clueless, and that they just have enough money to advertise it." -Peter Camejo -- "Skanky-Deutch-Ho-Bag!!" -Mike

[Zirandorthel]

Thanks for the absence of the question mark, means a lot to me.I'll explain them to anyone who asks, but I'm sure you want to remain in the dark, as all good poetry readers (and poets) should! Zirandorthel I of TreesiaThe Golden DarknessBelde of the Far Reaches.Niirus TinenetuwarLet the fates burn!