Ship's log, Stardate 721224.6

[Adm. James D. Quirk]

The "Improvise" once again finds itself in orbit over Micras. I have ordered a sensor sweep of the planet.

"Quiet, for the most part, Mr. Spock?"

"Yes, Admiral. There is sporadic primitve cannon and missle fire from grid co-ordiates 287 by 173.

"That's Shirekeep!"

"Yes, Admiral."

"I want full sensor readings of the area!"

"In one moment, sir"

[Adm. James D. Quirk]

Sprock's sensors have discovered evidence of conflict surrounding Shirerkeep, the capital of Shireroth on the planet Micras. We are continuing to investigate.

"Radio traffic coming through, Admiral, " said the comely communications officer. "The explosions seem to be recreational in character. Something called a Recwar, if the universal translator in functioning correctly."

"Yes, Admiral", answered Sprock, "the local religion is called BOOMism, as well as the sociological databanks can make it out. They seem to worship explosions."

"Then shouldn't we honour them with a photon torpedo or two, Sprock? I little matter-antimatter explosion should be a great offering of friendship from the Federation."

"No, Admiral. Their rules distinctly limit participation in these rites to their own citizens. And there is, of course, the Prime Directive."

"How about just ONE photon torpedo?"

"No."

"A phaser on heavy stun?"

"NO."

"Some M-80's transported down?"

"NO!"

"You are no fun anymore, Sprock. Can we make it to Eggnog-3 before Christmas, ship's time?"

"Yes, Admiral."

"That's better. Mr. Zulu, lay in a course for Eggnog-3, Warp Factor 6!, and engage."

"Aye, Admiral!"

"And Sprock, "

"Yes Admiral?"

"Yellow alert and full shields until we're four lightyears out. I've got an odd feeling in my stomach."

"That'd be the three servings of replicated turkey y'all had for dinner, Jimmy-Boy, " chimed in Dr. McKay, who had just exited the turbolift. "And y'all know how that Andorian pumpkin affects you."

"And we also know how that Remulak ale affects you Doctor, after the fourth serving."

(General Laughter)

(Cresciendo)

(Fade to black.)

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Having detected a disturbance in the narrative continuity the Temporal Destroyer HMS Ahriman, the Kingdom of Babkha's first last and only line of defence against the hidden perils of the multi-metaverse, moved to intercept.

"Sahib, tracking course of disturbance. Appears to be moving out of orbit. Energy spike detected."

"Weapons systems?"

"Negative. Propulsion units."

"Hypothesis?"

"Hyperdrive capable alien spacefaring vessel. Indeed, moving to lightspeed."

"Determine course."

"Target estimated to be moving towards Mahdi-R" (Eggnog-3)

"Engage quantum shift drive. We will head them off and force them to give account of themselves."

"Bale Sahib!"

"Notify Gate Command - in pursuit of contact."