Negotiation Table

[Maksym Hadjimehmetov]

Unleashes the secret weapon of K'Tzuni...
The Secret Kiwi Bird!

[Jacobus Loki]

(sigh)

[Ari Rahikkala]

Seriously though, Maksym. Post a formal declaration of war, a copy of the SNARL charter and all the other documents we might need, and your... unit manifest? Oh, I almost forgot the term... order of battle! Once you do that, others might be more likely to follow...

[Maksym Hadjimehmetov]

Sure, I just really need an entire list of counties which are pro-Kaiser or pro-Rebel, so I can make a map of where exactly the front line is

[Kaiser Mors V]

I think the front is Shirekeep...

[Ari Rahikkala]

Well, technically, I think the Kildari forces need to get over the sea... but they should have gotten over it already, and Straylight didn't really make an effort to stop them... let's make this nice and clean and Shirekeepian!

[Kaiser Mors V]

The city is nicely walled up....

[Nick Foghorn Leghorn]

The city is nicely walled up....

DEATH FROM ABOVE!

[Jacobus Loki]

J.Loki paced the deck of the Dirigible "Kuralyov". The roulette wheel was busy, the slot machines were making their usual inane noise.

He spoke a quiet command into the cell phone-like device strapped to his wrist. The airship floated over the center of Shirekeep.

"Ok, folks", he addressed the gamblers and revelers, "Everybody get your crossbows, we've got a new contest for your enjoyment today!"

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Elwynnbrigaden Forward Positions, West of Shirekeep

"Arapay! Dirigible reported as sighted by the vanguard formation."

"A dirigible?" The Captain peered into his chai mug, wondering if it had been spiked. The militia cook they had brought along did in fact, thinking about it, look a little Mondesian. There might be a little irrational private grudge going on, as if the enslaving of an entire race by my ancestors centuries ago is anything to be holding an irrational private grudge over

"Yes, that's what I said, isn't it?"

"Fine, fine. Ours or theirs?" Replied the Captain, running his fingers through his hair and whincing as he thought he detected the tell-tale presence of nits.

Ali looked at the paper for a second time just to be sure. The message had read
'2048hrs. Dirigible sighted. Yardistan.'

Somewhat confused, Ali checked the list of counties associated with the Kaiser Partei:

Modan-Lach
Shimmerspring
Crestfall Downs
Lywind
Caverden
Woodshire
Monty Crisco
Alexandretta
Musica
Holwynn
Syrelwynn
Asantelian
Goldendown
Sunderspray
Discontinuity

And in an awful moment realised that he could not remember which counties belonged to the Duchy of Yardistan.

"Theirs." He replied at length, crossing his fingers.

Smiling now, the Captain walked up to Ali and picked up a second head piece - he didn't bother to check the paper. If he had he might have blanched and remembered that the Count had promised friendship to Duke Jacobus not a week previously. As it was he called up the section commander for the vanguard formation and enquired as to whether they had any of those rocket launched glide bombs, the ones with the white phosphorus warheads that can be controlled by a remote operator using a joystick and a portable TV screen. On being assured that they did the Captain ordered an immediate launch.

Only as he put the head set down with a smile of contentment upon his face did he notice the print out which clearly identified the blimp as being Yardistani. Only then did he scream at Ali calling him a dunder-headed hemaphrodite son-of-a-bitch, together with the imprecation that Ali was in some respect unfamiliar with his father.

He immediately ordered the launch to be cancelled, but by then, of course, it was too late.

http://shireroth.kuroshiro.net/forum/vi ... =34&t=7546

In another dimension this weapon was known as the Ruhrstahl X-4 and was used primarily as a primitive air to air missile by the Third Reich. Babkhans however, for some reason yet to be fully explained, had an innate receptiveness for designs from that era in Earth's history, that of course was unknown to them. Babkhans of course thought they were blessed with a capacity for inventing havoc inducing weapons on the cheap. The Flying-Camel Glide Bomb was just one from amongst a multitude of such devices. Guided by remote operator, operating out of the back of one of the IFV's and guided by joystick with the operator viewing the action over a webcam relaying to a portable monitor sat in from of him the glide bomb launching vertically at incredible speed before reaching a height of 1,500ft whereafter it the rocket motors burnt out and it began its guide downwards covering the twelve miles between the launch site and Shirekeep, whilst deaccelerating down to 552 m/h. As soon as the operator acquired a visual sighting of the dirgible he adjusted the controls and sent it into a shallow dive towards the airship.

The operator had two options, either a direct impact, or proximity fused denotation. A blimp is not a small target so a direct hit would be preferred. However the risk of overshooting the target, which was slow, indeed almost stationary, was very real. The operator opted then to attempt to crash the glide bomb into the blimp, but just as a reinsurance, activated the proximity fuse to ensure that there was no need for a second pass. Indeed the rate of deacceleration was such that there would only be one chance for an intercept before the Flying-Camel stalled and spiraled down onto the city of Shirekeep below.

[Aurangzeb Khan]

Seriously though, Maksym. Post a formal declaration of war, a copy of the SNARL charter and all the other documents we might need, and your... unit manifest? Oh, I almost forgot the term... order of battle! Once you do that, others might be more likely to follow...

Or we can just charge into each other in a fun unscripted way and not too much care about things. Once we get into rules the spirit and spontenaity of things usually die leaving only bitterness.

[Harald of Froyalan]

Indeed.

[Jacobus Loki]

"Der racket!" screamed the Duke/Anarch. "Fire! Shoot! Turn! Fast! Anybody got a Panzerfaust? Somebody call Admiral Quirk! Aggghhhh!"

"The Admiral promised protection elsewhere, sir," said a sturdy Yeoman, trying to cock his crossbow while avoiding the ever-more frenzied Duke.

Luckily for the disheveled Yardistani, his loyal batman Marshton had brought the Duke's personal arms, including his Mk. VII disrupter.

"No futuristic weapons!", a voice from somewhere said. the duke assumed a shade of grey-purple.

A few drunks were taking shots with their crossbows.

"UP! UP SHOOT STRAIGHT UP!", screamed the Duke, and his enibriated guests hurried to comply as best they could.

Several dozen large crossbow bolts shot into the belly of the Duke's flagship, which dropped 500m and began to vent helium at an alarming rate........

[Andreas the Wise]

GRIEVANCES

1. This thread has already got past grievances and into fighting.

2. You started a civil war while I was on holiday with limited access.

3. The war appears to be fought in a million different threads so I have even less than a clue what's going on.

4. Malarbor doesn't look like Malarbor anymore (a serious greivance, Ari)

5. While we're listing religions, if, when I got back, I did something suitably self illuminated, can I be High Priest of Sakat?

6. Five wasn't worded as a grievance.

7. Six should say five should read "I'm not High Priest of Sakat"

8. I've run out of humorous grievances ...

[Jacobus Loki]

Your Grievances shall now be heard!

GRIEVANCES

1. This thread has already got past grievances and into fighting.

True. And?

2. You started a civil war while I was on holiday with limited access.

[b]I didn't start it. [/b]

3. The war appears to be fought in a million different threads so I have even less than a clue what's going on.

Nobody does.

4. Malarbor doesn't look like Malarbor anymore (a serious greivance, Ari)

You are correct, although Malarbor is tricky. Maybe he looks the same, but did a number on our eyes.

5. While we're listing religions, if, when I got back, I did something suitably self illuminated, can I be High Priest of Sakat?

Gotta look that one up.

6. Five wasn't worded as a grievance.

Why not?

7. Six should say five should read "I'm not High Priest of Sakat"

Hmmmmm, neither am I.

8. I've run out of humorous grievances ...

Good. Pick a card, any card. You can keep it, I've got 51 left.

[Kaiser Mors V]

Sure.. be a priest.. Works for me!

[Andreas the Wise]

My greivances have been heard. I am now content. I'll go away and make the necessary changes - ie me High Priest.

Bye!

*hurls several grenades around the room and dissapears in a flash of smoke*

[Aurangzeb Khan]

The County of Lesser Zjandaria withdraws its grievances.

[Jonas]

Kildare wants mangoos

[Kaiser Mors V]

To late, this ended some time ago...

[Aurangzeb Khan]

We could always start again if peace starts to look like it is harming the well-being of the community.

[Jonas]

We could always start again if peace starts to look like it is harming the well-being of the community.

Yeah... I want mangoos...

[Erik Mortis]

Here.. Have a mango *hands Jonas a mango*

Enjoy!

[Aurangzeb Khan]

No. He asked for a Mangoo not a Mango. You will need to splice the genes of a mango tree with those of a kangaroo in order to please that particular demand.

[Erik Mortis]

Or it was just a protracted 'o' sound.

[Aurangzeb Khan]

A protracted 'o' sound? Oh come now, that is just silly. He was clearly demanding a mango-kangaroo hybrid. Now get to it.

[Jacobus Loki]

Merely a dialect difference.

Kildarian, you know...

[Erik Mortis]

Wouldn't that be a Mangaroo?

[Kaiser Hasan I]

The most delicious of marsupials.....

[Erik Mortis]

And now the Official Animal/Fruit of Brookshire.