The Ducal Palace, Eliria
Gerhart Menderville, Assistant to the Assistant Manager of the Office of the Duke - no less - was distraught.
"You have no business entering the Duke´s personal chambers - this is contrary to all established protocols!"
The Khan, who was at this time sitting in the Duke´s chair, in front of the Duke´s desk, reading the Duke´s official papers and finding it to be a most comfortable and indeed natural condition that he was rapidly becoming loathe to give up, fleetingly glanced in Gerhart´s direction.
"My apologies, I thought you noticed the men with guns and clubs standing outside when you came in. The protocols have been..." a slight pause ensued for added emphasis, as if it were actually need "revised."
The Assistant to the Assistant Manager shifted uneasily pondering how best to proceed and what to say next - especially since two cudgellers had come into the room and were standing beside him in a manner that gifted itself to the expression
with menaces.
"Uhm, that seems, err, apparent now, your Excellency. But, err, you still haven´t explained the reason for your unexpected, but of course entirely welcome, visit."
"Oh? Have I not indeed?" replied the Khan in an airily distracted manner.
"Not that I heard" Gerhart twitched a little as he spoke. This Khan was reputed to be somewhat less homicidal than his ancestors but he was far from willing to test the validity of the supposition.
"Well you see I left a message with the Office of the Duke on Ughday and if you haven't noticed today is Arisday. Being somewhuteko6]on-hold[/i] for four days I thought I fancied a leisurely drive through the countryside, perhaps tour the old estates up at Vijanagara, issue a few decrees concerning this and that while in Eliria - I seem to recollect this is my Barony afterall - and to cap it all I thought I would drop by and pay my respects to the Duke in person, maybe even have a nice cup of tea, with a little drop of milk and a slice of lemon, it would have made an adequate end to a not entirely unpleasant day. Then of course I arrive and I am told various contradictory stories
all of which seem to boil down to the Duke not being here. Words cannot describe how unhappy I am to have found that not only are my calls being ignored but my Lord is not even here to receive my respects."
"Should I fetch my supervisor?"
"That could be difficult; I´ve already spoken to him, and his. They are cooperating with the Elwynnbrigaden in its enquiries elsewhere, or at least they will be shortly."
"The Duke, my Lord is... out of the office..."
"Evidently, but you see, I am starting to wonder - did he go out of the office via that broken window over there?"
"I err..."
"And moreover, I happened to have a forensic pathologist on my staff, its curious isn´t it how regularly somebody in my position needs to know what happened to a corpse, and he has found hemp fibres caught on the jagged shards of glass. Fibres that might well prove to be consistent with garments, rope, or indeed one might say consistent with a sack."
"Err..."
"So what I am asking is, did the Duke happen to pop out of the office, out of the window...
in a sack."
"Err..."
"Anything else you could add to that summary of events would be greatly appreciated."
"Hobgoblins, Sir!"
"Hobgoblins?"
"Yes Sir, goblins what go hob and the like."
"I see - and what is their involvement in this?"
"Well Sir, he - the Duke that is - waen these hobgoblins came charging in from out of nowhere, gathered him up into a sack, trussed him up like a Mondesian Turkey, and then jumped out of the window and were off and away."
"Hobgoblins - fascinating."
The Khan picked a sheaf of paper out from the Duke´s in-tray - some internal memorandum or another which he crossed out before turning over the page to write on the blank paper on the reverse. Moments passed, the Assistant to the Assistant Manager the whole while growing ever more concerned that the draft might be a writ for extraordinary rendition to Ardashrishahr, and then he was at last finished.
"Adjutant! Here, take this note and put it out on the Veritas Teleprinter. Distribution as indicated."
The Adjutant, an Elwynnbrigaden Major, saluted smartly and hurried away to find the comms officer.
Out of interest the reader may wish to note that the message that was being disseminated with such urgent haste was as follows:
From: Elwynnbrigaden, Office of the Brigadengeneral
To: Livgardet; R1 Eliriaregemente; R2 Iserdiaregemente; R3 Raikothtrupperna; R4 Nordlandregemente; Director, Office C [Counter-Intelligence] County Security Division (Alalehzamin); Gentlemen-at-Cudgels (Eliria)
CC: Office of the Duke; Office of the Stewart; Council of Eliria
SUBJECT: Anomalous Phenomena (Abduction of the Duke)
1.0. The Duke of Elwynn has been abducted by implausible creatures at the behest of parties as yet unknown.
2.0. All Commands are to disseminate the following advisory notice in print and over the electromagnetic spectrum so as to bring it to the attention of the alleged abductees.
An advisory notice for all Goblins, Hobgoblins, Bogarts and all other creatures of the aes sídhe whose existence otherwise constitutes an affront to nature, reason and the conception of a purely material universe:
1.0. The Location & Condition of the Duke & the Return of the Same:
1.1. It hattention that an unfortunate incident has occurred at the Ducal Palace in Eliria. To wit, that the Duke has by some unfortunate misunderstanding been taken in a sack by Hobgoblins away to parts presently unknown;
1.2. We are sure that this is some well intentioned jolly jape by the part of friendly and not at all malevolent sprites;
1.3. However we humbly request the return of the Duke Andrew Allot from whence he has been taken, alive and preferably intact. There will be no retribution and indeed a reward constituted from a number of the newly first-born commensurate to the age of the Duke will be made available for collection, which you may do unto whatever it is hobgoblins do in such circumstances and frankly we are not too keen on enquiring any further into the matter, which we will consider closed and one of life´s inscrutable little mysteries, subject of course to the Duke´s reasonably safe return.
2.0. On the Consequences of Failing to Abide by the Terms of This Most Reasonable Request:
2.1. Should however our generous and conciliatory offer be spurned we shall not hesitate to burn out every wretched goblin hole within these Ducal domains;
2.2. Remember the Elfinshi, there really is no pressing reason why you cannot share their fate.
3.0. Fair-Warning & Compliance:
3.1. This notice constitutes fair warning and you have twenty-four standard hours, starting from the instance of its issuance, in which to comply.
[/signed]
Ardashir pîroz Moqtada al-Osmani
Brigadgeneral - Elwynnbrigaden
Khan of Vijayanagara
Baron of Eliria &etc.
3.0. There are at present no known motive or identity for the instigator of this foul deed, for once it not being ourselves. However the implausible nature of this event would seem to indicate the potential of Nordland as a point of origin for this mad act, the presence of a sheep we have subsequently caused to be killed and roasted for tonight´s dinner also seems to reinforce that s Investigations are therefore to focus primarily on the counties of Nordland. Office C [Counter-Intelligence] County Security Division (Alalehzamin), having the primary file on Anomalous Phenomena emanating from out of Nordland is to lead the investigation and coordinate counter-actions for the recovery of the Duke and the punishment of the responsible parties;
4.0. Gentlemen please do not use too much excessive or unnecessary force and try to keep civilian deaths to the absolute minimum required for an effective enquiry.
[/signed]
Ardashir pîroz Moqtada al-Osmani
Brigadgeneral - Elwynnbrigaden
Khan of Vijayanagara
Baron of Eliria &etc.