service

[H4773r 3lfs0n]

*H4773r rides up to the Temple on his trusted jabberwock mount, Alyss. swift dismount.*

Alyss: "oi, yuh gointa set dem b00/\/\y noiseis oaf agin?"

H4773r: yes yes, give me a moment. need to find "the key"
*digs around in his h47* ah HA! there tis *pulls out a small explosive*
"yes, lets open this door once more and give sermon shall we?"

*H4773r affixes the device to the door and sets the charge as Alyss ducks her head behind him, using him as a live meat shield*

[H4773r 3lfs0n]

*The door blasts open, cheers are heard from down the street as people realize what is occurring. H4773r Stalks into the great temple throwing small amounts of ordinance around, which in turn lights various sconces around the room.

He then steps up to the alter, charred black and blasted from countless explosions, the only sound, the crackle and hiss of diffusing explosions.*

Welcome once more followers of the flame, bringers of the B00/\/\, saved of Cedrism.
Let us reflect once more, together, upon explosion.

Today we discuss, not giving up. *h4773r reaches into his h47 and starts digging around*
A person may wish for something glorious. Something fantastic. The ultimate joy of having the biggest, baddest, or smallest, sleekest . . whatever you will. Simply basking in the knowledge that your "thing" is the coolet thing around. ah . .
*h4773r pulls a basketball sized thermonuclear device out of his hat, complete with large digital time display and nuclear warning stickers. the clock is ticking down from 5 minutes.
H4773r grins.* Ive been accused of having sermons that DRAG on forever.

Now, arguably, this could be one of the BIGGEST sermons in a long time, just because many lives will be lost and the ramifications far reaching as the area cant be used for many moons and be remembered as a monument to B00/\/\. *three minutes*

Our society has taught us, that the biggest, loudest, baddest, is the best. That only the most extravagant, and the most expensive, is what counts. is what matters. i mean trust me, the plutonium for this wasn't cheap. *chuckle, nervous laughs from the crowd. 1 min 30 secs*

So, you go out and start doin it, acquiring the most awesome stuff you can, put the gears in motion to do something that will be friggin metal. BUT, something happens, someone says "no" and the plans fall apart. The dream is crushed, the plans thwarted, and you might possibly be devastated, i know i have been. *30 secs*
You get mad, you want to retaliate, you think, ha! I'm gonna do It anyway! *10 secs*

Its all gonna blow up in your face, but to Balgurd with them! *5* Your gonna do it! *2* BUT WAIT! *1, H4773r smacks the top of the device, many of the assembled jump a little, and then digital readout stops*

Think about it. Take some time, leave it alone for a bit, consider what it is you are doing. *H4773r flippantly tosses the device back into his H47 and pulls a piccolo pete out of his top jacket pocket* I always keep one in my pocket, as a reminder.

What is immediately in your reach? what can you change in the short term and it will be a change for the better? Take those smaller goals and complete them. You want awesome? awesome can be found in even the normal things. This little guy for example. *He flips open a zippo with a very tasteful young lady posing on it and holds it up to the firework. It sparks and flames on the alter like a small blow torch. The screech pierces through the temple and the square surrounding. It sputters out.*

So simple, so clean, so plain, yet POWERFUL!, its bright, its hot, it can be heard from so far away.
Dont give up, my friends, dont JUST explode, let the explosion be for the better. Plan it for effect, plan it for maximum impact.
Anyone can just start throwing around fire. *chuckles from everyone* it takes skill and thought to really make the b00/\/\ meaningful.

Thank you all for coming today. May the B00/\/\!!1! be with you!
*H4773r grins as he throws a simple popper onto the floor, SNAP*

[hypatias mom]

Thank you, oh, high priest of the B00/\/\!!! for one of the most insightful sermons I have heard here. I myself find that punctuating strong emotions with a well-timed and thougtful expulsion of that emotion in the form of a well-contained burst, is more effective than an uncontrolled and overly emotional blast for conveying one's feelings and worship. Please continue to lead us into wisdom.

*The Countess quietly turns and leaves the temple, occasionally dropping lit cherry bombs and golden fountains, with alternating bursts and showers of glory following in her wake.*