Fucking, fucking angst

[Daniel Farewell]

Past 8. Made a phone call. Medical people coming over soon to check on me.

[Demon of Fides]

Our hearts are with you.

[Aster]

hmmmmmm............................

[Daniel Farewell]

Thanks for all well-wishes, thoughts and prayers. I'm gonna stay away for the weekend, will be at a friend's place.

See ya later. Nathan's in charge of Elwynn.

[Kaiser Ometeotl I]

ummmmm... feel better. And get some help. Please. (I mean that in a good way!)

[Falkner van der Sluijs]

Richard...you should have called...

Following this, and considering my own mental state, I may be gone for the weekend also...

[Demon of Fides]

Good luck to both of you.

[Icebreaker]

THIS THREAD HIT ME IN THE HEART LIKE A TON OF FUCKING BRICKS.

RIC, WE ARE BROTHERS NOW. IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS AGAIN, LET ME KNOW - I'LL SHOOT YOU A BUNCH OF CONTACT DETAILS IF YOU WANT. WE'LL TALK ANYTIME, NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU GET TO THE BRINK OF THE ABYSS.

YEAH YOU ARE PROBABLY SITTING THERE THINKING "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, THIS ICEBREAKER ASSHOLE THAT I'VE NEVER TALKED TO BUT EVERYONE TELLS ME HE'S A JACKASS - WHY WOULD I EVER TALK TO HIM?" AND IF YOU REALLY FEEL THAT WAY, THAT'S FINE. JUST REMEMBER, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE AGAIN, WITH YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS AND A CIRCLE OF THOUGHTS THAT YOU CAN'T BREAK, THAT MY DOOR IS WIDE OPEN - NOTHING YOU TELL ME WOULD DRIVE ME AWAY.

NEVER HURTS TO HAVE SOMEONE EXTRA TO TALK TO, EVEN IF THEY GO ON THE END OF THE "LAST RESORT" LIST. =P

[Falkner van der Sluijs]

Isaac, you nearly drove me to suicide, I would never recommend you to anyone as an emergency contact.

[Harvey Steffke]

Wait, what?

[Icebreaker]

HUH. I WAS UNAWARE OF THAT.

IF YOU'RE SERIOUS, THEN WOW HOLY SHIT I'M SORRY, BUT IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY THERE WERE A LOT OF OTHER FACTORS COMING INTO PLAY WITH REGARDS TO YOUR MENTAL STATE AT THE TIME. THOUGH LOOKING BACK, YEAH I GUESS I WAS PRETTY HARD ON YOU - WE WERE ALL PRETTY CONVINCED THAT YOU WERE JUST ACTING OUT FOR ATTENTION, AND ONCE YOU GET THAT IMPRESSION ABOUT SOMEONE, IT'S HARD TO CHANGE IT IF SUDDENLY THERE'S REAL WARNING SIGNS SHOWING THROUGH.

SOOOOO, MY BAD I GUESS. IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY ALMOST DROVE ME TO SUICIDE, I WOULD SORT OF HATE THEM FOREVER, SO IF YOU'RE AT ALL SIMILAR I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER MUCH WHAT I WRITE HERE.

[Demon of Fides]

Right. Well, perhaps we should discuss this elsewhere if it needs to continue...

[Ryan]

I sincerely hope that Ric pulls himself through this successfully. It's pretty obvious we all care about his welfare, and offer what little we can to support him.

[Ari Rahikkala]

I suppose if it's hard to convince people you actually are feeling absolutely terrible and not just putting on an act... it's probably even harder to convince them you're actually a good, decent person and not an evil troll out to drive others to suicide. Icebreaker dishes out tough love readily, yeah, but so far he's helped a hell of a lot more people than he's hurt.

[Daniel Farewell]

OK peeps. Still not stable, but I'm better.

I think.

I took the train to a friend's place, stayed there. Now I realize I shouldn't have gone since all we did was... uh... not so friendly things but in a non-violent way. WHY! GOD WHY! I should have realized. Before hand.

Ah well. Now I'm home, got home today. Watched V for Vendetta with a few mates. Good film.

And now, it's way past midnight and I'm angsty. And I can't get on the bloody chat :P

Icebreaker, thanks man. I'll remember that.

Yeah everybody, thanks!

Hm.

*works on elwynn stuff*

[Ari Rahikkala]

Hm? The mibbit client works for me... does it give you any sort of a possibly helpful error message?

[Falkner van der Sluijs]

[quote="Ari Rahikkala] Icebreaker dishes out tough love readily, yeah, but so far he's helped a hell of a lot more people than he's hurt.[/quote]

That's really hard to believe when he's harassed you over many channels into weeks of extreme paranoia and complete lack of self-esteem and will to live. I spent many nights crying and sleepless for fear of him harassing me in person. I stayed away from windows, I tried my best to blend into my background and avoid being looked at, I looked over my shoulder every day all day. I will never believe that statement.

[Malliki Tosha]

Perhaps logging out from mIrc could have helped? Just a thought...

[Harvey Steffke]

I spent many nights crying and sleepless for fear of him harassing me in person. I stayed away from windows, I tried my best to blend into my background and avoid being looked at, I looked over my shoulder every day all day. I will never believe that statement.

Okay, first, wtf. Is this really true? I mean, the weird paranoia thing.

But yeah, he's not really that kind of guy in real life, at least as far as I could tell. I did have to suppress the urge to think of him as speaking in all caps though.

[Demon of Fides]

Good to see you're somewhat through it, Daniel.

[Falkner van der Sluijs]

I spent many nights crying and sleepless for fear of him harassing me in person. I stayed away from windows, I tried my best to blend into my background and avoid being looked at, I looked over my shoulder every day all day. I will never believe that statement.

Okay, first, wtf. Is this really true? I mean, the weird paranoia thing.

Yes, I'll show you the blood stained shirt when I cut my shoulder over it.

[Kaiser Ometeotl I]

ummmm.....

[Malliki Tosha]

Why haven't you washed it?

[Harvey Steffke]

To be fair, blood doesn't wash out very well.

[Falkner van der Sluijs]

Why haven't you washed it?

I think the real question should be why haven't I thrown it away yet, which I have no answer for.

[Daniel Farewell]

Ari:

THis is what I get when I try loading mibbit:

HTTP/1.1 200 OK Content-Encoding: gzip Content-Length: 1428 Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8 Server: Mibbit Connection: Keep-Alive ��+�L

[Ari Rahikkala]

That is... weird. I'm pretty sure that is what the server is *supposed* to say... and I haven't heard of Opera having any special problems with Mibbit either

Oh well, at least you're on IRC now...

[Daniel Farewell]

I think it may be due to some Java problems. But I wonder really... It should work! Ah well, got myself pidgin now.

[Falkner van der Sluijs]

Everyone (Ric especially),

I apologize, I acted in an overly emotional way and hijacked this thread for my own pretty purposes when Ric is obviously in need of support far beyond the need of my ego.

One day I will learn to control myself, unfortunately the last couple days have not been that day.

Carry on.

[Daniel Farewell]

Det är lugnt, Coreyander.