Antica makes progress towards regaining Duchy status

[Scott of Hyperborea]

In honor of the Anticalia holiday season, today I would like to report on encouraging developments across the eastern border in Antica.

The Anticans are having a good month. Just this week, their posts per day finally climbed back up to where they were when the country restarted, potentially marking the end of Antica's agonizing, painful-to-watch two year decline. They're now up to a new record of 512 posts per week, within spitting distance of our own record of 2040...well, not really, but let them celebrate; they have so little to be proud of.

But that mediocrity may change as they begin the long and arduous process of fixing their broken government. After their founder and the savior of their country developed enough sense to move to Shireroth, they languished for several years in an unpopular and ineffective democratic system which Speaker Phineas Elastopon described as "quite oppressive", going on to say that "tyranny is inherent in this Republic". His depressing comments only began to reveal the loathing Anticans have for themselves and each other, with Braden replying that "calling one another liars and jeering one another's tribal identities is a very Antican thing", and Aryez admitting that no one trusted any Anticans besides Chris. And even these quotes come only from the Anticans who have stuck around, and not those who have abandoned the country in shame and are desperately trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

But the Anticans are taking bold and much-needed action to correct their self-acknowledged patheticness. At long last, they have set aside enough pride to learn from their betters, and a large majority now support switching to a monarchy in what its strongest proponent, Phineas Elastopon, describes as a "proposal...to turn this into a mini-Shireroth". Noted citizen Elliot Markham agreed, demanding a shift to a system of Duchies and Counties.

So, fellow Shirerithians, let us put aside our contempt for Antica. They may have made many errors in the past, but they are beginning to show a genuine desire for self-improvement, and between the new monarchy, the switch to feudalism, the condemnation of their own illegitimate government, and the long overdue rehabilitation of Shiro-Antican hero Delphi Augustus, Antica not only shows signs of becoming less of a third-world hellhole, but perhaps even approaching a level in which it will one day be worthy of retaking the Shirerithian Duchy status it lost so long ago..

SLOWLY GROW TOWARDS THE LIGHT, ANTICANS! MALARBOR DEMANDS IT!

(This is intended as a joke)(as far as you know)

[Kaiseress Anandja II]

I want to give you an award or something. This is hilarious.

[Scott of Hyperborea]

You're the Kaiseress. If you want to give me an award, you've got the key to the closet where we keep them.

[Kaiseress Anandja II]

Oh snap...