The Teachings of the Great Sheep

[Leo Fenrir]

The priest of the Sheep shed his third woolen cloak and threw it in the jeep. He had dressed down for the heat of the south but the sweltering -6 Cº was still proving warmer than anticipated. His fellow brethren seemed to having just as much trouble adjusting to the heat as well. The twelve jeeps had stopped to refuel for the rest of the journey to Avakair and leaving their heavily refrigerated confines had caused a combination of physical, mental, and cultural shock.

But this was all secondary to their main task set for them by none other then the Great Sheep herself. In a moment of divine inspiration five of the High Priests of the Wool had received celestial guidance. [It was interesting to note though that several of the priests swore that the Great Sheep sounded exactly like the Duke] The words of the Great Sheep, though cryptic, had been quite clear : 'Spread the way of the wool to the inhabitants of Shireroth my children... Actually, scratch that. Asantelian would be a preferable place to start. Now where did I put that bacon... What do you mean its still on? Well turn the damn thing off then!' And so here they were.

It would not be an easy job, converting the people of Asantelian. The priests had already passed four stores advertising fresh lamb. One of the priests was not of a strong constitution and proceeded to vomit and then feint upon the discovery of the third such establishment. But these problems had been already corrected. The managers had been spoken to and properly converted and the high priest had the satisfaction of witnessing one of these converted men beg to be drowned in wool for his sins.

Though their methods may not be what was commonly accepted as 'conventional', the conversion process was a precise and effective one. It consisted of three simple steps. First the heathen was politely asked to convert. If this failed then they were forcefully subjected to a six hour lecture on the greatness of the Great Sheep. If the heathen had still not converted then they were thrown into a vat of glue and then rolled in wool so as to better understand the seraphic bliss of the Great Sheep's teachings.

So far it had not failed.

Though their progress was slow, heavily impeded by the number butchers that seemed to all too ready to commit blasphemy, the group of extremists were slowly making their way to the capital of the county. Much like a poison, a religion could spread rapidly in the blood stream if injected directly into the heart. The high priest had objected to the comparison, but when no better metaphor could be procured (it was the metaphoric drought season it would seem) he had grudgingly accepted the explanation.

Avakair would act as the pump that would drive the word of the Great Sheep into the county, and beyond.