Pandora, Countess of Alexandretta Inaugural Speech

[Pandora]

*In the now nearly ruins of the town square in the city of Alexandretta, the Countess Pandora approaches an egger crowd awaiting her words. She balances herself upon a strategically placed boulder among teh garden. She opens her white parasol and shades herself from the morning sun. She smiles brightly at teh crowd, raises her free arm as if to hug the whole crowd at once, and in an enthusiastic voice, she begins her speech*





My fellow inhabitants of Alexandretta, fellow Shirerithians, and random visitors just passing through, may I have your attention please!

It is with great honor that I take the role of the newly appointed Countess of Alexandretta. I wish to offer my gratitude for all of your warm welcomes and hospitality. I have read the history of this great county. I feel that I have chosen wisely; its heritage as a party county. With it´s roots coming from vivacious and enthralling cultures, I believe that together we can and will bring Alexandretta to its full glory! That being said, I am making some changes, effective immediately.

I hereby, now proclaim the beautiful county of Alexandretta the Official Nudist Colony of Shireroth! May beauty be shown from both within and without! However, I would like to point out that this is a family-friendly nudist colony. While maturity is not required here, I do expect all in Alexandretta, both resident and guest alike, to keep all actions and comments somewhat clean. This is not an X-rated county. What is done in your territory and in private is your business.

I will be setting up a business here in town. It will be an advice column known as Pandora´s box. Anyone and everyone are welcome to email me or pm me with a question of any kind, regarding both real world and Shireroth alike. I can assure you that no question is too taboo to ask me and I will treat all questions with the utmost respect. I will repost the question and give my corresponding advice. I will of course keep the asker´s name private if he/she/it requests it. I will have more on that later.

I will have the laws I have mentioned in detail as well as others available for your viewing pleasure in the neare.

Now, enough politics! I would like to end with an open invitation to all of Shireroth to attend a "house warming party" or rather a "county warming party"! It will be held off the coast of Alexandretta in the city of Musica on the beach. There will be a huge bonfire. In which we will be liberating all guests from their oppressive attire by burning them! I advise that if you wish to return home in clothing please bring a spare set! Marti Gras beads for everyone, of course there will be mango margaritas made fresh on the spot, and reggae music so loud you could hear it in another county!!! Oh and Greg, please do bring the lemmings, just like old times! I hope to see you all there!

May blessings and shinny pink glitter fall upon you often!

[Kaiseress Carol]

Miss Pandora--

Thank you for inviting me to your wonderful new county. May you enjoy your rule here. I would like to keep my tiara, if you please. If you noticed, I have checked my things he locker at the entrance gates. I look forward eagerly to your big party. Mmm, I love mango margaritas!

[Pandora]

*Greets her Niftyness with a great big bear hug*

Thank you and welcome! Of course you may keep your tiara. You may also keep your necklace too! Jewelery is not considered clothing. Neither is body glitter. Just ask one of the servants and they will get you some if you wish!

[Ari Rahikkala]

Well, that's certainly... unique.

[Braden Indianensis]

Yes, Your Niftiness has more tact than I..."unique" is a good word...

OOOOH! MARDI GRAS BEADS! AND COMPLIMENTARY MINTS! *Takes several handfuls of each*

*Gasps into handkerchief* Ach! Public nudity! *Looks around* Kaiseress! Shocking. Truly shocking. I expected better.

*Is dragged away by the nude guards (watch those hands, Mister, this is not a date! )*

[Conglacio]

good to know there is somewhere where you can be more comfortable,,,
In my castle in Schlangen, I allways have the freezers turned up (can't stand the heat) so people end up having to wear many layers...Which is a bit annoying as I prefer not wearing anything...

[Pandora]

*waves guards to release Mr. Baldwin PlantagenetJulii*

Mr. Baldwin PlantagenetJulii and Mr. Ari Rahikkala:

I understand, you are not used to our custum here. Don't worry. After a few margaritas at the warming party, I trust you will not be as self concious. Your bodies are beautiful! You should be proud of them!

Mr. Conglacio:

Welcome! I'm glad to hear that you are comfortable here! You are most welcome to visit anytime you wish! Hands him a fan. I hope this helps until the sun sets.


Come! Lets away to the party!

[Grand Czar of Landingberg]

hmm... this actually makes me think of New Orleans during mardi gras. *not an insult*