"Unexpected"

[Neike Taika-Tessaro]

In events I don't want to detail again, lest I feel stupid, I wrote up a story detailing a dream I had which strongly reminds me of cheap zombie movies. But the very end of the dream, instants, before I woke up, had a change in mood so drastic that I had to write about it.

So I'm in an awkward situation now. I don't usually write about clichés. It's helped havingthe narrator highlight them as bogus in the story itself, but it's still a lot like a cheap zombie movie.

Still, it has something. I'm not sure what... but I've put it up on my website.

So, here you go...

Unexpected.

[Ari Rahikkala]

Hm.. it's nice, not drooling material for me, primarily because... you should tone down the "I've seen this on TV, but this isn't TV, this is real" thing a bit. We're smart readers, we know that merely having seen zombie movies doesn't make you any less scared in the zombie apocalypse, and saying "this is real" in a story is my personal pet peeve.

(I had more to say but I'm in a bit of a hurry - let's see if it still feels that important in the evening)

[Neike Taika-Tessaro]

I'm not going to tone down on anything. :P Writing about a dream is something I do once, not over and over again, especially if it's something I wouldn't usually write about. (Didn't I highlight that enough already?)

There will not be a second version of this. (Well. Unless I fix its spelling and grammatical errors.)

That's not to say I don't want you telling me what you had in mind - I would love that! - just, usually when people part with constructive criticism, they do it because there's a chance it'll be incorporated.

Edit -

Coincidentially, just for the record and completion's sake:

we know that merely having seen zombie movies doesn't make you any less scared in the zombie apocalypse

Untrue. I would not write like that if I didn't think like it. I'd constantly feel somehow cheated on by fate if that really happened. I mean, honestly. You have a better chance of being hit by a meteor. Right. Squat. On. The. Head.

Not to mention that, unlike the narrator, I hate those movies. ^_~ With a passion.

[Ari Rahikkala]

Then let me rephrase that advice: I understand you will let that story stand as it is, but please, for my sake, don't ever tickle that pet peeve of mine *again* .

[Neike Taika-Tessaro]

Oh, all right. Or I'll put a huge disclaimer next to the story. "Ari, don't read this, it'll make you depressed." Would that work? ^_^