Regarding Malarbor...

[Scott of Hyperborea]

I got a message from Erik asking me for the Malarbor password. Apparently the rumor is that I'm responsible for the Malarbor messages.

I admit that I was the one who first created the Malarbor-bar, and that Delphi gave me a password for it back when he helped create the new board. I used to update it pretty regularly. But it was hard to remember to keep doing it, and I wasn't really good at sounding evil, so I stopped.

Imagine my surprise when the bar continued updating without my input.

I asked Delphi, the only other person who had the password, whether he had been updating it. He said he hadn't. I asked the few people in our community who could hack whether they knew anything about it. They said they didn't. I launched an official SHINE investigation into the matter, and Delphi helped...this was back when we were trying to deny Delphi was even part of SHINE, so of course we didn't tell anyone. We tried to trace the IP of the person who was inputting the Malarbor update commands and there was no IP. There was no one sending Malarbor messages to update.

Delphi checked everything he could, but the conclusion remained the same. At this point, we admitted it was beyond Delphi's abilities, and we enlisted Ari in the investigation. Ari double-checked everything Delphi had done, and he confirmed that no computer had sent any information to the Malarbor-bar in the months before the investigation began.

I decided to see if the hacker had changed the password, and tried updating Mal with my old pw. I typed in (I still remember this) the announcement "This is a test of the Malarbor-bar. Please disregard." I saved it. Then I checked the forum to see if it showed up.

The bar on the forum read "Malarbor takes no commands from puny mortals! Your test FAILS!"

This message stayed up for about ten minutes before reverting back to the usual announcement, just long enough for me to show it to Delphi and Ari. They tried updating the bar themselves, with similar results. We freaked out and decided to delete the Malarbor-bar. I don't know PHP, so I can't tell you the technical details, but in layman's terms the Malarbor-bar could not be deleted.

I've never tried to change the Malarbor-bar again since then. I haven't talked about this to anyone before because I knew no one would believe me. But I thought I'd tell you the reason why I can't give you the Malarbor password, even though I know you won't take it seriously.

Malarbor's way beyond any of our capacity to update now, and I suggest for the sake of your sanity that you don't even try.

[Kaiser Mahamantot I]

Hhmm, the mighty Malarbor is to smart and evil...

[benkern]

Malarbor is indeed crafty. In fact, I recall one time earlier this year when he requested "the Khan of Viagra (or whatever)" to PM him, meaning Scott. It seems that not only has he subverted Admin Control over him, but he has realised we believe Scott updates it and therefore regularly reads Scott's emails/mind (whichever uses the same password as the Shirerithian fora) in order to maintain the masquerade!

He is one damn evil demon tree! You see why I assist him with The Periodic Spore!

[Jonas]

You're making a lot of publicity for The Periodic Spore.

[benkern]

Malarbor demands that you read it! :P

Though this is getting tiresome even for me so I'll shut up about it.

[Jonas]

I have read it. It's the best manner to bring news of Shireroth to the people.

[Ari Rahikkala]

It's good to hear you're finally coming out with this information. I'm frankly out of my league here: Whatever it is that Malarbor has become, it's survived a server move and only grown more strong and cunning. For what it's worth, I'm planning to go in and have another look at it next week (it's the least I can do to preserve Shireroth's spirit with dignity). I don't expect to uncover a way to actually update the Malarbor bar, but at least I will back up the forum database and try to finally sort out the glitches (with administratorship and such) that have plagued us since the server move.

[Kaiser Mors V]

We really do have demon in Shireroth.. has Malarbor finally forsaken us?

Should I remove him? (and how?)

This is indeed perplexing...

[Neike Taika-Tessaro]

*expects to be smitten, but this was hilarious*

Malarbor lives!

[Jacobus Loki]

All the household pets are missing.............

There is no maple syrup in the stores, and the hardware stores arer low on turpentine...........

The sapling I took to Ergo Sum! I just grows, laughs in a disconcerting fashion, and rubs its branches together.........

I'll come to terms with my foolishness. I must!

Meanwhile, I have this uncontrollable urge to return the several volumes of lore that I seem to have via special messenger.

Oh, My Head!!!!!!!

[Andreas the Wise]

I love Malarbor ...

[Jonas]

I love Malarbor ...

Me too

[Kaiser Mors V]

Yes, he is indeed a rather popular kids in school these days...

Malarbor for Class President!

[Jacobus Loki]

I'm found of the old tree, but "god" he isn't.


He's just exteeeeeemly clever.

[Kaiser Mors V]

by a technicality he is in the pantheon...

[benkern]

Isn't he a demonic tree? Or a demi-god? Yeah, son of... bleh, look in the Wiki.

[Kaiser Mors V]

Wiki should say he's a god... In fact.. it says many things about him... amusing...