Sadness in the Sun

A center for Shireroth's established religion, Cedrism
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Kaiser Loki II
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Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Loki II »

Fellow explosives enthusiasts, BOO0/\/\/\/\ist, and members of other faiths, it is my sad duty to welcome you all to this holy place.

We are gathered together to bid farewell to the earthly remains of Kaiser Hasan I of the Line of Kalir. The dead guy, over there on top of the dynamite.

Yes, him.

Some say he was taken from us too soon, others say not soon enough. Let us remember his love for the economy. Let us remember his integrity, what there was of it was really good.

(sniffle)

Let us all be re-assured that he will return on the last day with the other Kaisers of old, to do battle with the Evil Hordes and Hosts of Balgurd in the final struggle of Good against Bad. My, what a pay per view that would make if Demons weren't trying to cut your head off.

Let us remember the ingenious way he came out of nowhere to claim the Thrown, as he liked to call it, and the manner in which he blessed our post count as he left it.

Let us remember the way in which he brought the disparate cultures of Shireroth and Babkha together (and took a shot at doing the same in Bosworth). Let Let us remember his strength of will, allowing neither law nor custom to block him from his lofty goals.

Let us remember how he lead us to victory against our enemies, and the really cool medals he gave us afterward. And the money.

Let us remember his laugh and his most excellent graphics.

We all must whistle a happy tune after we sing the deathly dirge.

Om ba di, om ba da, life goes on.

La la, how the life goes on.

Let us try to remember the good that he did for us, and explain away all the other stuff.

And now, let us waive a found farewell as his earthly husk rejoins the ecosystem.

(Drum roll.)

(Twists detonator)

BOO0/\/\/\/\!!!

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b3n|<3r|\|
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by b3n|<3r|\| »

Very good service. I would like to think that even now as pieces of his while hot flesh rain down on us intermingled with blood and ash, he is with us in spirit.
Vilhelm von Benkern - The Dolphin-...Count
:: Formerly just "benkern"
:: Rook Sentry of the Order of the Vorpal Blade
:: Count of Mar Sara IIRC
:: Former Baron of Absentia AFAIK, before that Baron of Vorpmadal TBH; also Former Duke of Yardistan IMHO
:: Dux Emeritus of the Order of Mischievous Intent

It takes moo to mango!

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Kaiser Loki II
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Loki II »

Amen. Thanks. (blows nose)

drops small firecracker

BOO0/\/\/\/\!!!
Loki II, Kaiser of Shireroth
The Awaited One, Bearer of the Sword
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Former Vryheer of Maraguo

Hesam Jayatar
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Hesam Jayatar »

Since it's not your duty to "bury" the dead Kaiser, I reject this. Scott or Ric is more appropriate. I'll likely write my own narrative.

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Kaiser Ayreon
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Ayreon »

(OOC: But it's all ready done. What I can do is - when the crowd is gone - to collect your remaining body parts and grant you a different funeral :p )

Hesam Jayatar
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Hesam Jayatar »

Im not even B0O0/\/\ist

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Liam conToketi
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Liam conToketi »

Then Jacobus just saved your heathen soul! :angel

Jess
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Jess »

A non B0O/\/\ist kaiser? He was not our kaiser then!

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hypatias mom
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by hypatias mom »

That was the cheesiest funeral I've ever attended. The lack of respect and the sneering references to the departed have no place here. Someone else should have conducted the service. This one showed bad form from beginning to end.

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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Jess »

'Twas a funeral deserving to the dead guy

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Liam conToketi
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Liam conToketi »

Ok, I agree some of the remarks afterward were a bit much, but I thought the ceremony appropriate...

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hypatias mom
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by hypatias mom »

I beg to differ. If you are angry or feel wronged by the departed, you need to delegate the officiating job to someone who can conduct a funeral in a respectful manner. This may be pretend, but it doesn't mean leaving respect, good taste, and appropriate behavior and attitudes at the door.

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Liam conToketi
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Liam conToketi »

Then perhaps I am too unfamiliar with Shirithian culture...

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hypatias mom
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by hypatias mom »

Things in Shireroth are often done tongue-in-cheek, and with bad jokes and puns, and sometimes ribald language. Funerals are even conducted much along the lines of the one we just witnessed. However, and this is my main problem with that sorry spectacle, the animosity and discourtesy shown by the officiant far outstripped even the most audaciously wild services we have had in the past. That is where I believe it broke with Shireroth's tradition of an outrageous sendoff.

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b3n|<3r|\|
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by b3n|<3r|\| »

Loki can apologise later. I don't care who says otherwise, that was a hilarious funeral. :) I think that is the way Hasan would have liked it (had he been here *glares at the Duke of Elwynn) - to make us smile and laugh. After all that's what the economy did. :D
Vilhelm von Benkern - The Dolphin-...Count
:: Formerly just "benkern"
:: Rook Sentry of the Order of the Vorpal Blade
:: Count of Mar Sara IIRC
:: Former Baron of Absentia AFAIK, before that Baron of Vorpmadal TBH; also Former Duke of Yardistan IMHO
:: Dux Emeritus of the Order of Mischievous Intent

It takes moo to mango!

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hypatias mom
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by hypatias mom »

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Your Grace. I'm afraid my sense of outrage far outstripped my enjoyment of the spectacle.

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Kaiser Loki II
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Loki II »

Carol, when you go over to the other side, you do it well. :surprise :thumbsup Could you spare some moral outrage for those that reneg on solemn agreements?

State funerals are a political affair. The Gods opted out of involvement, and there were also Health Code issues to consider. (Can't leave dead people lying around.) Since the next of kin of record (Scott) failed to claim the deceased, I dealt with the situation.

I used the funeral of Mors V as inspiration.
Loki II, Kaiser of Shireroth
The Awaited One, Bearer of the Sword
Traditional King of the Mala'anje
Former Vryheer of Maraguo

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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Hesam Jayatar »

If state funerals are political affairs then shouldn't the Kaiser precide over it?

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Liam conToketi
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Liam conToketi »

He did. ;)

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Kaiser Loki II
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Loki II »

:thumbsup :kaiser
Loki II, Kaiser of Shireroth
The Awaited One, Bearer of the Sword
Traditional King of the Mala'anje
Former Vryheer of Maraguo

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Aurangzeb Khan
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

I am afraid that you have all been cruely deceived. After our beloved Kaiser's demise the MoMA took the precaution of placing all seven of Hasan's body doubles under protective custody at a secure detention facility outside of Shirekeep. By a curious quirk of fate they all expired under identical circumstances that have been best described by the Lesser Zjandarian County Coroner as 'suicide by multiple gunshots to head and upper torso'.

We have since released a corpse apiece to the rival Kaiserial claimants for them to observe their seperate funeral rites. The remaining five are being kept in cold storage at Fort Foley in case any further factions should subsequently emerge that harbour a need to conduct their own eulogy over the Kaiser-Corpse.

The body of the late Kaiser is presently being held at the County Service Epidemic Prevention Research Laboratory, Ardashirshahr, where master craftsmen are hard at work, even as we speak, fashioning the cadaver into various tasteful and exquisite relics for sale to gullible tourists and devout pilgrims.

Incidentally the Lycurgus Club has instituted a :erb10 entrance fee for those wishing to visit the impromtu shrine of the martyred Kaiser. As penance for the regrettable breakdown in communications which resulted in the tragic accident subsequently maliciously misintepreted as an act of regicide I have agreed to donate all proceeds, after administration costs, to a favourite charity of the old Kaiser, the world famous "Camels Are Starving! Help!" or "CASH" for short. As the new executive director of the charity I am sure that Hasan will be pleased to know that his death is ultimately contributing to a very worthy cause.
Last edited by Aurangzeb Khan on Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Ari Rahikkala
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Ari Rahikkala »

:D :thumbsup
No-one should be without a parasol, Sirocco.

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Kaiser Ayreon
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Ayreon »

Ardy, will you marry me? :love

Malliki
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Malliki »

The marriage law is gender neutral, so why not?
His Grace the Lord Brookshire, LK GMNS
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Duke of Brookshire, Baron of Lakhesis
Knight of the Dragon
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Kaiser Loki II
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Loki II »

:) :D :) :D :) :D


Don't cut him up yet! See option 2

http://shireroth.kuroshiro.net/forum/vi ... f=1&t=8520

Hasan, Zombie Kaiser of Shireroth
:evil
Loki II, Kaiser of Shireroth
The Awaited One, Bearer of the Sword
Traditional King of the Mala'anje
Former Vryheer of Maraguo

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Aurangzeb Khan
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Aurangzeb Khan »

Kaiser Ayreon wrote:Ardy, will you marry me? :love

'I was a Kaiser's Male War Bride'....

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Scott of Hyperborea
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Scott of Hyperborea »

Alas for Kaiser Hasan. I control my grief only by knowing he will rise again during the last battle between the Gods and the Forces of Balgurd...although I'm not going to make any bets which side he'll be on.

Malliki
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Malliki »

Perhaps he could become the Demi-God of Broken Promises?
His Grace the Lord Brookshire, LK GMNS
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Duke of Brookshire, Baron of Lakhesis
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Kaiser Loki II
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Kaiser Loki II »

Hey, I do funerals, weddings, fire ceremonies and entertain at bar mitzvahs.

2 erbs, no waiting period. :kaiser :jadie

Malliki
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Re: Sadness in the Sun

Post by Malliki »

Briss? :)
His Grace the Lord Brookshire, LK GMNS
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Duke of Brookshire, Baron of Lakhesis
Knight of the Dragon
Fan of SOAD

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