Shireroth

Fellow explosives enthusiasts, BOO0/\/\/\/\ist, and members of other faiths, it is my sad duty to welcome you all to this holy place.

We are gathered together to bid farewell to the earthly remains of Kaiser Hasan I of the Line of Kalir. The dead guy, over there on top of the dynamite.

Yes, him.

Some say he was taken from us too soon, others say not soon enough. Let us remember his love for the economy. Let us remember his integrity, what there was of it was really good.

(sniffle)

Let us all be re-assured that he will return on the last day with the other Kaisers of old, to do battle with the Evil Hordes and Hosts of Balgurd in the final struggle of Good against Bad. My, what a pay per view that would make if Demons weren't trying to cut your head off.

Let us remember the ingenious way he came out of nowhere to claim the Thrown, as he liked to call it, and the manner in which he blessed our post count as he left it.

Let us remember the way in which he brought the disparate cultures of Shireroth and Babkha together (and took a shot at doing the same in Bosworth). Let Let us remember his strength of will, allowing neither law nor custom to block him from his lofty goals.

Let us remember how he lead us to victory against our enemies, and the really cool medals he gave us afterward. And the money.

Let us remember his laugh and his most excellent graphics.

We all must whistle a happy tune after we sing the deathly dirge.

Om ba di, om ba da, life goes on.

La la, how the life goes on.

Let us try to remember the good that he did for us, and explain away all the other stuff.

And now, let us waive a found farewell as his earthly husk rejoins the ecosystem.

(Drum roll.)

(Twists detonator)

BOO0/\/\/\/\!!!

Very good service. I would like to think that even now as pieces of his while hot flesh rain down on us intermingled with blood and ash, he is with us in spirit.

Amen. Thanks. (blows nose)

drops small firecracker

BOO0/\/\/\/\!!!

Since it's not your duty to "bury" the dead Kaiser, I reject this. Scott or Ric is more appropriate. I'll likely write my own narrative.

(OOC: But it's all ready done. What I can do is - when the crowd is gone - to collect your remaining body parts and grant you a different funeral )

Im not even B0O0/\/\ist

Then Jacobus just saved your heathen soul!

A non B0O/\/\ist kaiser? He was not our kaiser then!

That was the cheesiest funeral I've ever attended. The lack of respect and the sneering references to the departed have no place here. Someone else should have conducted the service. This one showed bad form from beginning to end.

'Twas a funeral deserving to the dead guy

Ok, I agree some of the remarks afterward were a bit much, but I thought the ceremony appropriate...

I beg to differ. If you are angry or feel wronged by the departed, you need to delegate the officiating job to someone who can conduct a funeral in a respectful manner. This may be pretend, but it doesn't mean leaving respect, good taste, and appropriate behavior and attitudes at the door.

Then perhaps I am too unfamiliar with Shirithian culture...

Things in Shireroth are often done tongue-in-cheek, and with bad jokes and puns, and sometimes ribald language. Funerals are even conducted much along the lines of the one we just witnessed. However, and this is my main problem with that sorry spectacle, the animosity and discourtesy shown by the officiant far outstripped even the most audaciously wild services we have had in the past. That is where I believe it broke with Shireroth's tradition of an outrageous sendoff.

Loki can apologise later. I don't care who says otherwise, that was a hilarious funeral. I think that is the way Hasan would have liked it (had he been here *glares at the Duke of Elwynn) - to make us smile and laugh. After all that's what the economy did.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Your Grace. I'm afraid my sense of outrage far outstripped my enjoyment of the spectacle.

Carol, when you go over to the other side, you do it well. Could you spare some moral outrage for those that reneg on solemn agreements?

State funerals are a political affair. The Gods opted out of involvement, and there were also Health Code issues to consider. (Can't leave dead people lying around.) Since the next of kin of record (Scott) failed to claim the deceased, I dealt with the situation.

I used the funeral of Mors V as inspiration.

If state funerals are political affairs then shouldn't the Kaiser precide over it?

He did.

I am afraid that you have all been cruely deceived. After our beloved Kaiser's demise the MoMA took the precaution of placing all seven of Hasan's body doubles under protective custody at a secure detention facility outside of Shirekeep. By a curious quirk of fate they all expired under identical circumstances that have been best described by the Lesser Zjandarian County Coroner as 'suicide by multiple gunshots to head and upper torso'.

We have since released a corpse apiece to the rival Kaiserial claimants for them to observe their seperate funeral rites. The remaining five are being kept in cold storage at Fort Foley in case any further factions should subsequently emerge that harbour a need to conduct their own eulogy over the Kaiser-Corpse.

The body of the late Kaiser is presently being held at the County Service Epidemic Prevention Research Laboratory, Ardashirshahr, where master craftsmen are hard at work, even as we speak, fashioning the cadaver into various tasteful and exquisite relics for sale to gullible tourists and devout pilgrims.

Incidentally the Lycurgus Club has instituted a :erb10 entrance fee for those wishing to visit the impromtu shrine of the martyred Kaiser. As penance for the regrettable breakdown in communications which resulted in the tragic accident subsequently maliciously misintepreted as an act of regicide I have agreed to donate all proceeds, after administration costs, to a favourite charity of the old Kaiser, the world famous "Camels Are Starving! Help!" or "CASH" for short. As the new executive director of the charity I am sure that Hasan will be pleased to know that his death is ultimately contributing to a very worthy cause.

Ardy, will you marry me?

The marriage law is gender neutral, so why not?

Don't cut him up yet! See option 2

http://shireroth.kuroshiro.net/forum/vi ... f=1&t=8520

Hasan, Zombie Kaiser of Shireroth

Kaiser Ayreon wrote:Ardy, will you marry me?

'I was a Kaiser's Male War Bride'....

Alas for Kaiser Hasan. I control my grief only by knowing he will rise again during the last battle between the Gods and the Forces of Balgurd...although I'm not going to make any bets which side he'll be on.

Perhaps he could become the Demi-God of Broken Promises?

Hey, I do funerals, weddings, fire ceremonies and entertain at bar mitzvahs.

2 erbs, no waiting period.

Briss?