Therapy Session #1
Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 10:09 am
"Ok Leo the hour is yours."
"Where should I start?"
"Wherever you feel like starting."
"Well I guess it all began when that Allot girl came back."
"Oh? and how do you feel about that."
"Uh how much is this costing an hour?"
"1 erb"
"Ah ok. Well I wasn't happy. I mean there I was going off to war. It was supposed to be my moment! Then she waltzes in with her size 200 font and her BF0000 colored letters and steals the spotlight."
"Ok this is a good start. I am sensing some repressed emotions though. Could this have something to do her father?"
"Andrew? Impossible. He and I were two good friends who only occasionally fought made fools of both of ourselves in the council room."
"Maybe jealousy?"
"Of her!? Who could ever be jealous of her atrocious sense of style, her complete lack of respect, her funny decrees, or least of all her way of being awesomely British at times?"
"Well this is obviously a deep set issue which will require much more time to deal with."
"I do not have issues!"
"Whatever you say Leo. Now please continue."
"Well I guess the next thing was that damned letter from Cho'Gall. I mean, none of the other Dukes ever had to deal with such a disrespectful man, not to mention lacking in imagination."
"Now Leo, just because your angry doesn't give you the right to take it out on him."
"The man shot me!"
"Did he now? How come I haven't heard of this?"
"He changed his mind? Oh I don't know its all very confusing."
"I see. Carry on please."
"I'll admit that was all fine and dandy, I am a patient man, but suddenly my Barony has yet another bug infestation, except this time the damn things wont die! I swear to the Great Sheep-"
"Who?"
"The Great Sheep? Mother to us all? God of wooliness and lamb chops."
"I'll mark that down for later discussion. Forgive my interruption, go on."
"Well the RaidTM didn't work so the Khan said I should get the ISI involved, and I did. Except when they fired at the citadel-"
"I'm sorry Leo, but what citadel?"
"Oh did not mention the giant copyright infringement that popped up from underneath the city? No? Well it did... Anyways. So not only does it completely ignore the thousands of Newtons of energy that hit it but it then proceeds to fire a giant death beam at a city in Wintergleam. And you know I don't even think that would bug me if someone could explain to me how a giant citadel, of some considerable mass presumably, could make it all the way from northern Agnesia to the Wintergleam border in a matter of seconds, undetected by the dozens of ISI satellites watching it, and did I mention completely unfazed by the several tons of exploding rocket fuel and iron rods packed with KE?!"
"And how do you feel about that?"
"Its maddening!"
"Ok this is a good start. I am sensing some repressed emotions though."
"How much am I paying you again?"
"1 erb"
"Ah yes..."
"Where should I start?"
"Wherever you feel like starting."
"Well I guess it all began when that Allot girl came back."
"Oh? and how do you feel about that."
"Uh how much is this costing an hour?"
"1 erb"
"Ah ok. Well I wasn't happy. I mean there I was going off to war. It was supposed to be my moment! Then she waltzes in with her size 200 font and her BF0000 colored letters and steals the spotlight."
"Ok this is a good start. I am sensing some repressed emotions though. Could this have something to do her father?"
"Andrew? Impossible. He and I were two good friends who only occasionally fought made fools of both of ourselves in the council room."
"Maybe jealousy?"
"Of her!? Who could ever be jealous of her atrocious sense of style, her complete lack of respect, her funny decrees, or least of all her way of being awesomely British at times?"
"Well this is obviously a deep set issue which will require much more time to deal with."
"I do not have issues!"
"Whatever you say Leo. Now please continue."
"Well I guess the next thing was that damned letter from Cho'Gall. I mean, none of the other Dukes ever had to deal with such a disrespectful man, not to mention lacking in imagination."
"Now Leo, just because your angry doesn't give you the right to take it out on him."
"The man shot me!"
"Did he now? How come I haven't heard of this?"
"He changed his mind? Oh I don't know its all very confusing."
"I see. Carry on please."
"I'll admit that was all fine and dandy, I am a patient man, but suddenly my Barony has yet another bug infestation, except this time the damn things wont die! I swear to the Great Sheep-"
"Who?"
"The Great Sheep? Mother to us all? God of wooliness and lamb chops."
"I'll mark that down for later discussion. Forgive my interruption, go on."
"Well the RaidTM didn't work so the Khan said I should get the ISI involved, and I did. Except when they fired at the citadel-"
"I'm sorry Leo, but what citadel?"
"Oh did not mention the giant copyright infringement that popped up from underneath the city? No? Well it did... Anyways. So not only does it completely ignore the thousands of Newtons of energy that hit it but it then proceeds to fire a giant death beam at a city in Wintergleam. And you know I don't even think that would bug me if someone could explain to me how a giant citadel, of some considerable mass presumably, could make it all the way from northern Agnesia to the Wintergleam border in a matter of seconds, undetected by the dozens of ISI satellites watching it, and did I mention completely unfazed by the several tons of exploding rocket fuel and iron rods packed with KE?!"
"And how do you feel about that?"
"Its maddening!"
"Ok this is a good start. I am sensing some repressed emotions though."
"How much am I paying you again?"
"1 erb"
"Ah yes..."